Change the way you think and the rest will fall into place

[AmyR]

I have read a lot of posts that comment on drinking sodas and eating foods they shouldn't and then venting about lack of loss.

I have had an eating disorder for over 20 years. In high school I was bulimic to stay a size 8 and be popular. Later I was raped and went into compulsive over eating and binging. I did the binging and COE as a coping mechanism and later realized I was gaining weight and continued to COE as a way to repulse the opposite sex! As time went on I gained close to 200 pounds and became a food addict. I love food, I love to eat, the smell, the taste and most of all I love my Coke and Dr. Pepper. I don't like diet drinks so it was always full calories/sugar all day long. I was drinking more than 176 oz of soda EVERY single day...with light ice, so I could get the most soda in the cup.

This past year 2010-2011 I did so many diets with very little success. I wouldn't lose quick enough and would give up. I did different diet drugs, HCG, high protein, low carb, low fat, Quick Weight Loss Center, Weight Watchers, etc...you name it, I did it. I knew things had to change. I had been married for almost 10 years, I wasn't active with my kids and husband and I was just miserable with my self. I haven't had medical insurance since 2006 because I was denied benefits due to being morbidly obese. I told my husband in late August 2011 I wanted lap band...it was a challenge to convince him of that but he agreed...then upon further research I realized lap band was not appropriate for a food addict. The transition from lap band to VGS was very difficult for him to agree to, but he did. I promised him I would make healthy choices after the surgery and he didn't really believe me since I had said that so many times before. But paying over $12,000 cash I didn't want to screw it up.

I KNEW I had to make a mental change for the surgery to be 100% successful. I promised myself and my family that I would not fail this time. My doctor told me that I will never again have a carbonated beverage, soda, beer, etc. That I should eat protein first, veggies second, fruit third and carbs last. I do my very best to follow those instructions daily. I still have trouble getting in all of the recommended water and protein....but I work hard on my mental focus towards my goal and promise to myself and family.

I AM NOT PREACHING TO ANYONE. I am only 3 months out and still have a lot of hard days. I have conversations with myself every time I "think" I want a sip of something fizzy. I have to tell myself that "thing" whatever I want doesn't do my body any good and offers nothing healthy. That "thing" made me fat and miserable after I consumed it. I am only 3 months out and can not change my eating disorder over night and still have a long road to go, but I am doing it day by day and the results are worth not eating or drinking that "thing" I also tell myself "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" and it is right!

I wish each and every one of you a Happy New Year!!!

[TXMOM]

Hearing your journey makes me proud of you the way you tell it so honestly, and I know that it is hard for us to admit our weaknesses, but only in doing so can we become stronger. You are becoming so much stronger by voicing the truth to yourself and to us who need to hear it also. We have all been down the road of diets, and feeling like a comple failure. I once paid $5000 to be on an Optifast diet that I only stuck to for one month. I was doing pretty good until a major hurricane hit here, and I could not see my Doctor due to evacuation. I never went back. So I wasted a lot of money, and felt like a miserable failure.

You are so brave and strong for telling us all about you. You're awesome. Go girl!!

[AmyR]

Thanks TXMOM