Here is to the nay sayers.

[Jester]

Over this past weekend at a party I told my family and friends about the surgery. All but a select few were like very supportive and think its great. One guy I was talking to pulled me aside and said. Man I support you, But would rather see you do it naturally and hit the gym . While he was puffing away on a cig and drinking beer. In a non rude way I said Naturally why cant you stop smoking and drinking. You have to resort to chantix to help stop smoking and you still smoke how is that natural. I said we are the same we both have a issue. Mine is eating yours is smoking how are you any different than me. I said its not that easy is it. Just like smoking when you quit most people go back. Dieting most people loose weight and gain it back. Told him I lost 70lbs 2 seperate times and starting to gain it back again. After a discussion he changed his tune.
You will get a lot of people saying how you dont need it just do this or just do that. Duhh if it was that easy we all wouldnt be here. Just turn the conversation around in a polite way and point out one of there faults. Trust me EVERYONE has them. and tell them to stop, tell them its easy. In my case it was easy on him because I dont smoke nor do I drink. You do this for you and no one else
Have a great day

[MaryFromTheD]

Hi Jester,
Good for you! I wish I was that quick with a reply when people have made comments to me ~ thanks to your post, next time I will be
Best of luck to you,
Mary

[Dee Leshuz]

Heh. I have some people in my family that don't smoke/drink to excess/overeat/are not fat...if I were to to get on them it would be for their High and Mighty behavior, thinking they're better than everyone else when they are just some of the most annoying people I've ever met...


Trust me it's better to say nothing and just go do your own thing. It's not that I haven't said that sort of thing before, it's just that it doesn't work. Some people are addicted to self righteousness, won't give it up for love or money, and see nothing wrong w/ it.

They really don't get how I can't just lose weight and keep it off like them. Or organize my life like theirs, dammit. If everyone would just do everything their way life would be perfect, you know? Best to move on. Despite their input I've got them used to the idea that I'm having the surgery whether they like it or not and I will hang up the phone/order them out of my house if they are negative during recovery. I can't heal w/ that sort of stuff around me. They don't know about that last part yet BUT will learn in a hurry if they mess w/ me after surgery.

[excited&scared]

I know how you feel I just got into it with a female co-worker today that said I took the easy way out. I just let her know that until she walked a minute in my shoes then don't tell me how "easy" it is. But i know its just a jealousy thing and I try to remember that. They will continue to try and tear me down but I will smile at them while I am handing them all my old "fat" clothes I can't fit in anymore lol. That is a MAJOR downfall of working with all women.

[jenschmitt]

My favorite argument was "A smoker can quit smoking, an alcoholic can quit drinking, but an overweight person can not quit eating."

But I may have to use yours if necessary

[aboutime4me]

Great way to handle it...turn the conversation around and never give a nasty or negative back. Those I've told thus far are very supportive. My next test will be when I tell co-workers. But one thing is for sure, no matter what they say to me or perhaps behind my back, I know what I need to do for myself. AMEN! Have a wonderful week and don't forget to show some pictures along your journey so we can celebrate your progress with you.

[Cattitude]

Just about everyone I've told has been pretty supportive and some even excited for me. My Mom had to be convinced as well as my little sister. Both of them were against it until I asked them how much did they know about the surgery and it's purpose? Then they both changed their way of thinking and I sent them some informative links as well.

Most of the naysayers have no clue about what the surgery entails so unless they have an open mind, to heck with them.

[BBARB]

I know how you feel I just got into it with a female co-worker today that said I took the easy way out. I just let her know that until she walked a minute in my shoes then don't tell me how "easy" it is. But i know its just a jealousy thing and I try to remember that. They will continue to try and tear me down but I will smile at them while I am handing them all my old "fat" clothes I can't fit in anymore lol. That is a MAJOR downfall of working with all women.

Well, I do not know if it is gender related. I think there are "I can do everything I put my mind on because I am strong and your not" kind of people. I get comments from man and women. Who cares, it is a sign of ignorance and lack of sensitivity. They do not know the struggle, the taste of continuous failure and inadequacy (not sure this is the right english word, but you know what I mean).

[BBARB]

1) It easy to say that surgery is a easy way out. When they tell me that, I answer that once they get knowledged about obesity and bariatric surgery life we may can talk.

2) If they are not even able to quit smoking they are very weak. Quitting smoking is not even close to being an obese. Maybe drinking can have deep psychological implication that can be hard to brake.
I used to be an heavy smoker, like 2 packs per day every day for 17 years. One day I decided that I needed to quit and I did. I did it without patch, coaching supporting system,... nothing. Nicotine addiction bothers you from the physical point of view not more than a week. The hardest part is changing the habit. But there is not psychological chain to it. at least not in my case. So I am an example of a very strong minded person that was able to quit smoking when I decided to do so. Yet I am obese. I am the double of my size and I cannot count how many times I decide that I would turn this around. I am still obese and as all of you I have tried so hard all my life to change and failed every single freaking time until I gave up. Now I have this opportunity to reset my stomach, my habit, my brain and finally hopefully breaking the cycle. I say this is brave. I say ALL OF you are brave. I say that decide to change your life with a non reversible surgery is being strong. the only easy way is Denial.

[Sunflower]

Good, thought-provoking thread. Again, ill just keep mum, and tell no one. I just cant see the sense in using my precious emotional energy to a) educate, b) convince c) justify, d) all of the above.