These are all normal thoughts and emotions but a pity party is only a party of one so snap out of it. You have been given a gift, an opportunity some would do anything for so appreciate it. I won't lie to you, this journey you are about to embark on is one wild ride. Is it easy? NO. Is it worth it? Hell yes! Best of luck to you on your surgery. Do all the research you can between now and D day and you will become more comfortable with your decision then the next time you have a party it will be to celebrate your new life!

Sorry you feel like this! From the time I got approved to the day before my surgery I was ecstatic! I had a couple moments of self doubt before surgery but really nothing since then. I'm 13 months out now & I can tell you that it was the best decision I ever made for myself hands down! I will also tell you that I think my therapist really helped me this past year. We all have self doubt and fears to work through. So just relax & try to think positively. Make a list of all the things you want to do when you're healthy. That helped me a lot! Good luck to you!

Think about all the things you will be able to do once you lose the excess weight that is dragging you down. For me it was a no-brainer. I wasnt able to get on the floor and play with my son before surgery. Today I dont even think twice about getting on the floor to play cars or trains. I am more active with my son now then I ever thought I could be. This is my second time around with the children, I have three fully grown ones and now the little man. I was feeling guilty because I was not giving him the time I gave the older ones becuase I didnt have the energy. This past summer I took him and his mom to Disney and at the end of the day they were the ones that was worn out. I was still ready to go all but the last day, 16 hours in the park. Think of all the things you will gain and I am sure you will get your head back in the game. Godspeed on your journey.

It could be worse, you could be addicted to alcohol or drugs or both. At least this way you have a shot at a "normal" life without blacking out and running someone over with your car,,,ha ha. I have been sober nearly 11 years, have heard all the stories when I used to go to AA.
Trying to give you perspective

A "pity party"? That doesn't sound very festive.

i think the majority of us have felt exactly that way at one point or another...we tend to be our own worst critics. this is not always going to be easy and you are going to have moments of sucumbing to temtaion, guilt, doubt, and why did i do this...but i promise (barring any major complications) that it is totally worth it!!!!! the best decision i have ever made for myself!!! just try to be kind to yourself and always remember that this is just a tool and success takes hard work and determination and patience ...so relax! you got this!!!!

A BIG FAT: ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!! This is such an emotional journey. I am scheduled for next week on the 6th and last night, it began...the sleeplessness. And the doubt and the fears and the questions. So again, ME TOO!!

I think a lot of us go through those thoughts... you are not alone. I am right there with you. I am approved for surgery on November 18th too so let's do this thing and stop with the pity party!!! Let's have a real party...

You are doing this TO be normal! Normal weight! So you can get off whatever meds you may be taking for weight related illness. So you can do things with your kids you can't do today. So you can be around for them for a LONG time! As someone 13 months out, I can say, I would not have that old life back for ANY amount of money, (or chocolate) :-) And I do eat chocolate, and whatever else I like today. The difference is, I am no longer food addicted. The sleeve has helped me learn moderation and to control myself. I have a commitment to move my body on a regular basis now. I take no meds for asthma, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, anxiety, and rarely for pain when I used to pop Advil like candy. THIS life... ROCKS!

Iam not even close to a surgery date and have all those same thoughts. Remember that something brought us all here. Stay Strong.

I'm also scheduled for the 18th Nov - anxious, scared, etc, etc but trying to focus on the bigger picture.

I WANT TO PARTY................WHOOP, WHOOP!!

I too am scheduled for the 6th. I am so scared but know this is what I need to do to live a longer healthier life. I am trying to focus on the changes it will allow in my life and actually feeling good about myself again ! We can do this !!!

"Why Me?" Why can't I lose weight on my own?
For the same reason that huge numbers of people cannot lose weight on their own. Human beings were not designed to be in environments with constant access to high calorie food. Yes there is some percentage of the population who don't run into problems, but now the majority of adults in countries like the US and UK are overweight or obese.

Why can't I just be happy with who I am?
Being happy with who you are and choosing to have surgery are not mutually exclusive. I had the surgery BECAUSE I like who I am and felt I deserved better health and a longer happier life. Don't equate weight with value - being overweight/obese is a health issue, not a character flaw. You can be happy with who you are AND decide to have the surgery for your wellbeing. If you really want to, you can also choose to be happy with who you are and live with the consequences of being obese. Both are valid choices. Either way, you have the same human value as everyone else regardless of your weight/size.

Do I really want to do something so permanent?
Only you can answer that question. I had the same question. But I realised as much as I have momentary twinges of regret at the permanency when I can't eat a big slap-up meal, I have far far many more moments of relief and happiness at the permanency that makes it so much easier for me to control my eating. I want to be permanently healthy, so permanent is good.

Why am I addicted to food and especially sugar?
See above, for your first question. Human beings were not evolved to have access to so much sugar. Sensitivity to it and addiction to it is the result of a naturally good survival instinct toward a readily accessible form of energy gone wrong because our environment now supplies too much to us. This is not your fault. However if you want things to be different, you need to find a solution that will work for you. Wishing you weren't a person who craved sugar isn't going to change the fact.

Will I succeed at this? Will I fail?
Nobody can answer that question for sure, but the statistics suggest you have a much much better chance at losing weight and keeping it off after surgery than if you just keep trying on your own. I came to the point prior to my decision for surgery that I was not going to attempt to lose weight through the usual channels any more given that I kept putting it back on and then some. My choices were stay fat and do it as healthily as possible, or have the surgery. I was off the diet cycle for good.

How long will I not feel good?
Assuming no complications, most people here feel fine within a few weeks. Really it was not as bad as having a bad flu for me.

Will I be depressed about not being able to eat?
See above the answer to "Do I want to do something so permanent". I would say that in the early days with the restrictions during recovery phase I got a little bored and then stir crazy. It's a phase you have to go through - keep your eye on the long game, and do what helps you get through. Once back onto full range of foods, I have never felt depressed about not being able to eat. I have momentary twinges of regret at best. I really enjoy my food now, just in smaller quantities.

Will this make me live longer?
Barring complications and other accidental reasons for death (the proverbial bus for example), almost certainly.

Will I die on the operating table and my kids will be left without a mother? Should I really do this?
This is a completely understandable fear (and one that I had), but it's a very very small risk. The impact of obesity on your ability to fully engage as a mother is a much higher and real risk. But only you can decide whether you can tolerate the very small risk of death on the operating table.

WHY ME? WHY ME? Why can't I just be normal!
See answer to first question above. You ARE normal - fat is the new normal. You are not a failure, being fat is not a crime against humanity - it's just a health problem which many people now develop as a result of the mismatch between our biology and our environment. But if you want it to change, you have to do something about it.

Good luck with your decision. It's pretty normal to do the 'why me' thing - but it doesn't ultimately get you anywhere.