Here I am in a hotel room in Missouri contemplating my next move. You would think that having reached my goal I would be a happy camper, but I am far from it. I am miserable!
My journey has not been good. I have detailed it earlier, but to recount briefly, I was sleeved in February and constant problems with reflux followed. I never really progressed past thick liquids. Doctors found my stomach was sliding up and down so they needed to anchor the hernia with an operation. I had that June 8 after a very rapid weight loss.
I am now in the US visiting family and trying to recover. Thankfully the nasty reflux has dissapated-hellaluia! As long as I sleep sitting up, the little reflux I have is quite bearable.Compared to the acid bursts several times a night, this is no problem. BUT I am now experiencing nausea which is stopping me eating.
All I have eaten in the last month is yoghurt, cottage cheese, some dry crackers, thin soups,smoothies, Gatorade and water. Unlike most of you I have tried to add in extra calories with ice cream and the like in shakes because I can't stop losing weight! Protein powder is not tolerated by my tum at all. I won't add the ""fun and games I have had with constipation but I also take a gentle laxative to keep me from nightmarish attacks.
Most days I just can't keep food down. My doctor told me to avoid vomiting. That is easier said than done! I eat something and then I get this horrible build up. If I try to just grin and bear it, it gets worse and worse until I vomit violently( a total no no for a hernia repair). So I usually make myself sick to release the pressure.
I have reading up on nausea and this is a double edged sword because the reason I could be suffering is because I am not eating enough. Yesterday I said to my husband-Right I am going to eat today regardless of the nausea. Well that was a disaster. All I managed to keep down were the 4 saltines and cottage cheese I had at breakfast.(You may ask why I eat crackers-it's the the salt I crave). The shake I had later came right back up and the chicken soup broth also came back to greet me. In fact I vomited more yesterday than usual.
I read about nausea and tried to eat a twist of licorice thinking that might help. I also bought some ginger tea and tried that. Neither stayed down.
To say I am getting desperate is to put it mildly.
You might ask why I haven't been to see a doctor. Well, have you ever tried to get an appointment with a dr when you are not a patient? I can't wait weeks and I am travelling which makes it even harder.
I will be consulting with my international health insurance company tomorrow and might even just go to a hospital emergency room because this is crazy.Unfortunately I will probably get an intern who really knows nothing about bariatric surgery complications, but I need something to control the nausea. Only then will I be able to teach this tum to accept food again.
This is not what I expected. I am getting very concerned that I haven't been able to eat for cloxe to 5 months. This is not the way to lose weight! I might look physically good from first appearances, but my face is gaunt and my color sometimes grey. I use make-up to hide my pallor, and I double dose on multivitamins to help make up for dietary deficiencies.
I know many of you are frustrated that your loss is slow, BUT please just persevere. Your way is the right way and you certainly wouldn't want to be in my shoes.
Thank you for reading-I just needed to vent at 4AM. B