That really stinks. I am so sorry. Especially when you hung on when you could have bailed. I read that we (the sleeved) start leaving our significant others when we feel better about ourselves and start realizing we settled. Although after typing that I don't know what that has to do with the price of tea in China. I guess I hope you feel so fabulous about yourself that YOU will decide you deserve someone better. About the cheating possibility...my ex said " I have not cheated" and our breakup had nothing to do with a certain coworker who got chummy. Well, that was 12 years ago and they are still very happy together, supposedly. Great for them I guess. Not so great for me. Is it evil to say I'm getting thinner and my ex is getting fatter? Yeah I know.

Would he consider marriage counselling? Maybe its just a midlife crisis.

So sorry to hear. Mid life crisis suck! He will soon discover that life as a single 46 year old twice divorced guy isn't like the beer commercials. Then you will have to decide whether you actually want him back. Take care of yourself - and get counseling even if he won't go. Join a club or woman's group that interests you. Good luck.

Sending you a PM. Been in a similar situation but it was me that wanted out prior to surgery.

So sorry for your difficulties but I am glad you came here to vent instead of heading to the kitchen pantry. We are here for you ... keep posting.

Janet

Sending hugs!!!

I am so sorry this is happening to you, keep your head up, and don't forget about your goals, dreams and priorities !

sorry this is happening to you, it sounds like you have the right attitude though, not sure I would be as positive, it could happen to any of us though. My marriage is no ride in the park, ugh. Good luck, hugs.

Thank you all for the support! My emotions are really all over the place, and I didn't know it was possible to hurt this bad......but I am a survivor and I will take care of my daughter and I!

Praying for guidance for you and your husband.

Sorry to hear this. I've had a similar situation in my marriage. We did work it out and now things are wonderful.....but he was cheating. Sometimes I wonder why I stayed, but in fact I do love him. Best wishes Ill keep you in my prayers.

I love your outlook on it. You know sometimes people think the grass is greener on the other side, until they crossover and find that its completely brown with a lot of dog shit. I love the fact that you are not loosing focus of who you as a woman. I know it hurts and as time passes time does heal all wounds, but I promise if he gets out there and finds there's nothing out there and sees how good he had it at home he'll coming running faster than a bat out of hell to try and get back with you and you may not want his ass. You never know maybe he's intimidated by the fact that you have had this surgery and thinks you may try to leave him. Stranger things have happened. I wish you the best either way simply because I know you love your husband, but now the time has come when you have to love you more. Stay strong I know its hard, but know what your worth as a woman. Take care.

I just cannot help but think of all the things that I have done to make his life as easy as possible. When he comes home from being on the road, he literally has NOTHING to do. Grass needs cutting? Either I or my father in law do it. House need power washing? I take care of it. Bills need paying, yep I got that too. Are you hungry? Let me fix your plate....done now honey? Ok let me take that from you. I did these things out of love, and because he is a workaholic who took good care of us. Time for a rude awakening for him I suppose.

Now is the time to find new interests and activities the you want to do and go after them. Keep working on you, both inside and out. When or if he wants to come back, decide whether you want him back and if he fits into your new life