Your grandson is lucky to have you in his life! those tears are for sure the sign of the fear of abandonment, his mother walked away, you son is working far away too...kids have a hard time to understand that work is important and can send us away and there's nothing we, parents, can do about it. I've been living overseas with my family for the past 14 years, but a few years ago I had to do several trips back to Paris for work in just a few months(I was in DC, it's a short 8 hours flight) that was compulsory and the kids were not happy I had to "leave them behind all the time"....my husband is a sweet man....but they can't stand his cooking! they did give me a hard time, until we sat down, I told them I wished they could travel with me but they had to go to school and plus we could not afford to pay all those trips for them. I asked them what was the main issue when I was away, one daughter said "dad can't do my hair right, I look bad all the time" all kids said they missed my cooking, the youngest said she missed me a lot, the house didn't smell like I was there.... My older kid took care of the "hair problem", I cooked batches of food before living, froze as much as possible (sometimes 2 weeks of dinners! usually I was away ten days top) and I left a teddy bear with my perfume on it for my youngest....little things but everybody felt better...well, I still felt guilty but that's part of the mum's job description...may be you could take selfies with your grandson once a week, so he has a new photo of you two with him each week...take care

Congratulations all around!!! I'm newish, still waiting to hear from insurance on approval status, and I would love to read your updates! Thank you so much for coming back and sharing your journey with us!

You look amazing!

Read this twice...very moving. God Bless...Mem

Wow! Thank you for sharing this......Def made me tear up

my mums relationship with food and body image had had such a huge impact on my own body image issues. I always had an amazing body until I started at uni and put on weight due to the stress of studying medicine and then after my sons births I had put on a lot more. I never forget my mum 6 weeks after the birth of my son visiting me and when she left to fly home she seemed "off"..... I didn't think too much of it until it was her bday a week later and I had sent her balloons and flowers to her work and tried calling her all day and she didn't respond....I finally got hold of her a 10pm to wish her happy bday and ask if she got my gifts and she seemed so cold on the phone to me still......so I finally asked her what was wrong, what had I done to upset her? You see my mum and I have always been so close and talked daily on the phone so I knew something was up, but honestly didn't know what! Anyway after getting angry at her she finally yelled into the phone "I'll tell you why I'm upset - you are ENORMOUS!! You are disgusting and everyone is laughing at you"..........i honestly cry every time I think of her saying this to me. I had achieved so much in my life and been a 'good girl' making my parents proud was so important to me so when she said this to me ipmy heart was broken as I felt like all I had achieved was nothing if I was fat and that was how my self worth was valued.....I was 82kg and 172cm when she told me this too....and had just had a baby......
Anyway il be honest to say that my relationship with my mum has never really been the same again....I felt liked couldn't visit her until I was thinner as I was an embarrassment so I stopped flying back to my hometown as I felt ashamed and scared to be judged. I ended up getting bigger also and I am not sure why but almost out of rebellion I put on more weight....I felt even more worthless and began to isolate myself from everyone and eventually ended up in a major depressive state. I even tried illegal drugs to lose weight towards the end of my downward spiral....last year was the worst year of my life for so many reasons. I have made so many changes to my life since the beginning of this year however and am feeling like I can see the light again for the first time in a long time.

Justilouy my heart goes out to you and your daughter. I wasn't overweight most of my kids life so when I was it was a shock to us all. I felt embarrassed and I was worried they were too.
You know what? You are changing. She knows you love her. She is obviously a kind hearted girl who loves you immensely.

I think all of us as parents or as children have felt something with this letter.

I am doing this because some little turd teased my youngest (mega-sensitive) daughter because I am fat. She cried when she told her daddy about it. She didn't want to discuss it with me because she knew it would hurt my feelings. I have been crying about this all week. How did I let myself get to the point where this can happen to her???

Wow, great letter and story.

As a father to two beautiful girls, I agree...I've always justified being big with my daughters learning to love anyone for who they are...not what they look like. They are growing up to know that what is inside matters so much more than anything on the outside...but now it's time for another lesson. It's time to show them the person inside needs to fight for what they want too! They deserve to be happy and healthy, and feel good about their looks regardless of what anyone else thinks of them. I've lived basically 30 years large...my daughters have been in my life 15. They deserve to see what a person can do when they work to their goal...the changes that can be made...the achievements they can do!

Most of us have failed at diets, weightloss, etc. I hate being a failure in front of my girls...regardless if they say it or not. They're gonna see daddy healthier and skinnier!!!
Love this letter!!!! Thank you so much for posting it!

I can only say one word: "Beautiful".
Thank you for sharing this.

Tears.... Definitely!!!! I love this Forum. We all post such Meaningful things, especially at the time when one of us needs to hear it most.

Amen

You know what also hit me when I read it? The impressions I left on my sons. I am amazed they turned out to be such accepting and loving men. I was very hard on myself when they were young. But their father was very loving and I am so glad they absorbed his message instead of mine. I didn't even think of the impact on the sons I raised to how they would view the imperfection of their future partners.

How beautiful. My experience has been mostly the same with food. So, I learned that my eyes had been opened to my dependence on food ; as an emotional crutch. So, as the next generation it is my responsibility to help my son to live a healthier life. I forgave my mother and the things that were imperfect in her. She was only showing me what her mother had taught her. We have the power to shake things up a little and turn things completely around.

Tears. Very moving post you have provided us. It reminds me that as mean as people are to overweight people, no one is as mean as we are to ourselves. Thanks for your thoughts.

Lee you are welcome. I am so excited to share and learn form others.

MBL it was just the one I featured. I will happily share more in the group I am about to create. But there are lots of veggie proteins like that. But hemp seeds are considered a super food. So they won't all pack that kind of punch

Journey, thank you for turning the tide on this forum. Health food! I love it! That red pepper, sweet potato and quinoa dish looks and sounds delicious. Keep inspiring us.

Originally Posted by Journey Tobeme

MBL just 2 tablespoons of hemp seeds have 22 grams of protein. That is the same as 4 ounces of meat if I am not mistaken.

You are welcome Ann. The world of plant based eating is so delicious.

Kacie thank you so much. I love finding new sources.

Lee I will post more later

Yes, I saw that about the hemp, but that was the only one I saw that had that type of stats. I could not just eat hemp seeds all the time

MBL just 2 tablespoons of hemp seeds have 22 grams of protein. That is the same as 4 ounces of meat if I am not mistaken.

You are welcome Ann. The world of plant based eating is so delicious.

Kacie thank you so much. I love finding new sources.

Lee I will post more later

Interesting for sure, and I am not a naysayer by any means. I was looking up this way of eating though, and I can't have a cup of this or a cup of that. I am at 1/2 cup max at 7 months out. I can't see me getting all the protein I need this way.

Thank you, Journey. I'm getting a new education.

Here is a great free cookbook. Sign up for the email to get it. It's free and he doesn't spam you to death. Awesome recipes...

One Ingredient Chef | Simple Healthy Recipes by Andrew Olson

We are def on the same page! I eat a high plant based diet now...it just happened over time since my surgery.

I'm going to subscribe to this post and check often. Thanks!

Here is one of my puddings I make. I don't make the whip cream.

Here is another. I have found I can do without the sweeteners is I use a protein powder instead like vanilla bean. Cuts the calories and packs a protein punch

You're speaking sooth.

Take care of yourself. First. Now.

It may shock the hell out of those around you.

They may (or may not) get used to it.

Grandkids pull at your heart strings.

Don't u wish u could have had the confidence this surgery gives u when you were 21?!

Do what makes you happy. This is your life, so live it.

Very touching. You handled it beautifully. He's so lucky to have you!