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Thread: Got Shame?

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Got Shame?

    HI. I'm new here. I was wondering if anyone has anything to share about shame and I don't mean other's shaming you for considering WLS. I mean you shaming yourself. In my friend and family circles, I have always be the "strong" one, the independent one, the caretaker, etc. I get a lot done and have reached many goals in my life. I feel like I SHOULD be able to do this on my own too, but evidence points to an ever escalating contradiction. I have a lot of good reasons for getting to this point and even if I didn't - here I am. I'm so tired and so unhappy and I can't keep spending my life doing things that don't work and just make me feel bad. I've had two physician's recommend that I think about a GS, but whenever, I actually contemplate WLS, I get this feeling of immense shame. I almost fell more shame about considering GS than I do about needing it. That's crazy! I want to be good to myself and love myself. And here's the deal. I'm almost 50 years old and almost 300lbs. I don't have a million more years to live and even less if I don't do something. Any shares on how you might have dealt with this kind of shame?

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    Default Re: Got Shame?

    When considering weight loss surgery there is only one person who should make the decision, YOU. This is not about shaming it is about being healthy. It will help you greatly that you are already a strong person. Being 300 lbs is not healthy, I know because I was there. Go out and learn as much as you can about the sleeve, it is a powerful weight loss tool. Combine the sleeve with better nutrition choices and more activity and the weight loss can be substantial and quicker than you think. You will lessen your chances of diabetes, blood pressure issues and lower cholesterol levels. Your hips, knees, ankles and back will have less strain and feel better. This can be a win win situation. There is NO shame in helping yourself.



  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member sraebaer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got Shame?

    I guess you need to start by loving yourself. Know that you are worth being healthy and normal sized. You won't live as long at 300 pounds. How do you talk to yourself? Is it how you would talk to anyone else? Probably not. Stop the shame, start the love. Think of all the amazing things about yourself! You are not your weight.

    I can tell you losing the weight is a miracle. I'm sure you've tried many diets, with this one you physically can not overeat. But you also have to commit to a new healthy lifestyle. I'm over 6 years out, and over 5 years at a healthy BMI. Now I have to be careful about what I eat, because it would be easy to regain. After years I can eat much more. By the way I'm 63, and submitted Kilimanjaro last August.

    Best of luck on your decision. I'm 99% sure you'll be thrilled with a sleeve.



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  6. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member KiwiGal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got Shame?

    I was sick and tired of being overweight. I had tried every diet under the sun. Yes, they worked for a while but I could never sustain them and the weight piled back on. It's a similar story to many others here. At the age of 54 I decided that it was time to do something for myself and in doing so I would create a better life for my family as well because I would be healthier, happier and have more energy to participate in life in general.

    I investigated bariatric surgery and decided that the gastric sleeve was the best option for me.
    It has been the best ever decision I have ever made for myself!
    Nearly 3 years out and I am living the best life ever.

    I didn't feel shame, but I did have feelings of guilt for taking "the easy way out"! I felt that I should have been able to take control of my eating/exercise and do this myself. Well, I couldn't. So being sleeved was the only way to go unless I wanted to live a shortened life.

    I didn't tell very many people at all that I was going to have the surgery because I didn't want to hear anything negative. It seems that people with no knowledge at all are the ones to spout of the most misinformation! Also because of the guilt.
    Now however it is a totally different story. I don't go shouting it from the rooftops but if anyone asks me how I lost so much weight I tell them - without guilt! Not many people ask now because those that knew me before either know or have forgotten how I used to look, and those that didn't know me before have no idea I was so fat :-)

    I also now know that it is not the "easy way out" and that I will be working at this for the rest of my life - but it certainly a lot easier than trying to follow any fad diet. It's a miracle in the beginning as the weight drops off but when you get to the maintenance phase (ie the rest of your life) is when the work really starts. You need to be vigilant about what you eat (I still weigh and measure everything), and you possibly need to make changes in your life re exercise/alcohol consumption etc. Having said all of that I wouldn't change a thing. I love being half the weight I was. I love being a "normal" size. I love running around after our very energetic grandchildren, and I love being able to buy clothes easily. I can eat most things if I want to - but I choose to make healthy choices because I love how I feel and look and I want to keep loving myself. I do have the occasional treat :-)

    Please continue to do your research, listen to our stories, and decide what you (and only you) want to do. The gastric sleeve is an irreversible permanent surgery so you need to be really sure it is what you want to do. But if you decide to do it I can guarantee that you will not regret it for a minute.

    All the best with your decision.



  7. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got Shame?

    I agree with the above. My only regret is I didn't do it till I was 64! Almost 3 years and best decision ever.

    We were self pay, and it was a difficult decision to spend that much money on "weight". So in that regard, maybe ashamed that nothing else worked, but not for want of working at it and doing it faithfully. It just didn't work.

    If it were a friend asking this, what would you tell them? Guessing you'd be in their corner
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

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  9. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member kenson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Got Shame?

    The good thing about the surgery is you are required to speak with a therapist before the surgery. This might be something that you can work out then. For me, I was so happy to finally find a solution to my weight problem that there was no shame. Just think of the incredible life that awaits you. You will be able to do more, be more active and really begin to live your best life. Good Luck!



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