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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Surgery date
    04/04/2020
    Surgeon
    Mr Rishi Singhal
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    Jan 2020
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    03-17-2020 12:22 PM
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    Default Surgery judgement

    Hi. I have been considering WLS for 2 years, and in the last year decided on sleeve surgery. My husband is fully supportive of me, despite the financial implications, but my parents and sister keep saying that I can do it on my own and believe a dietician/ personal trainer would do the same job in a less dangerous way.I donít know how to answer these questions and argue my case with them. I am under no illusion that it is an easy way out and know it is a tool. How would the rest of you who have had the surgery answer this argument. I have never tried a PT or dietician but I have been on every diet possible since my teens so Iím not doing this on a whim. I wish I never told them until after but As I have to travel abroad for the surgery, I need their support to look after my children. I just donít know how I can ever have the surgery without their support.


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  3. Gastric Sleeve Surgery With Weight Loss Agents
  4. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member sraebaer's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    10/07/2013
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    I would say I have tried on my own (hundreds of diets, help from PCP, drugs (phen/phen), personal trainers, gym memberships, etc) to lose weight for over 30 years with no success. I would say obesity is a disease. I would say this weight is slowly killing me. I would say I want to be around to see my children grow up. I would say I love you all, and would sincerely appreciate your unconditional support.

    IMO, it's always best to share about your surgery with as few people as possible. People who aren't dealing with our issues just will never understand. Best of luck to you! I've been a normal sized person for over 5 years now; the results of this surgery are priceless.



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  6. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Surgery date
    04/04/2020
    Surgeon
    Mr Rishi Singhal
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
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    03-17-2020 12:22 PM
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    Thank you so much for replying to me. I’m actually teary as I wish, and hope that I can have the strength to say these things to them. I feel like in their eyes I am not making the wrong decision, but I truly believe I am making the right decision for me and my young family. I want to be healthy and to live a full live, not the half a life I am living.
    Congratulations on your success. It is wonderful to read how WLS has helped you reach your goals and maintain your healthy weight it is amazing. That is my dream.


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  8. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member KiwiGal's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lisa
    Surgery date
    09/04/2017
    Surgeon
    Stephanie Ulmer
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Last Activity
    Today 08:00 PM
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    Auckland New Zealand
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    As always Sraebaer has sage advice.

    I didn't tell many people at all that I was having surgery. I did all the research and made the best decision for myself. It was a totally selfish decision that, apart from my partner, was no-one elses business. My partner was totally supportive.
    I had heard some very negative comments from uninformed people about an acquaintance that had bariatric surgery and there was no way that I was letting myself open to that. I am much better about telling people now (2 years out) but there are some people that I will never tell.

    It is your decision and you are doing it for your own personal reasons.

    Personally my life has change beyond belief and being sleeved was the single best thing that I have ever done for myself.

    Good luck and sending you good wishes.



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  10. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Sandown64's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Sally
    Surgery date
    01/21/2020
    Surgeon
    Mr Hamouda
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Last Activity
    Yesterday 05:33 PM
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    Herne Bay, Kent, England
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    Hi Anglegravy. I am going for my surgery on Tuesday and I am super excited and can’t wait. Your story is just like mine and it seems most others on this site. We can all lose weight but can’t keep it off and don’t want to be on a diet fir the rest of our life. Yo yo dieting and weight loss and gain is not good for your organs and WLS may be the best answer for you (and many others). You want to be around to see you kids grow up and you should explain this to your family.



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  12. Gastric Sleeve Surgery With Weight Loss Agents
  13. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    02/02/2015
    Surgeon
    CTMF Bariatric Team
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Last Activity
    01-26-2020 07:59 AM
    Location
    Texas
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    Your first sentence says it all "I have been considering WLS for 2 years". WLS isn't a decision to make over night and if you've been considering it for two years you've revisited all the pros and cons multiple times and made the best decision for you. Prior to having surgery I lost and gained the same weight time and time again for 20+ years. I did every diet plan there was including using dieting drugs. I took a year to decide if I was going to allow weight and what other people thought to kill me or if I was going to make a decision to be healthy. As I told my family members, if I died from obesity you all would be the first to say that I should have had the surgery. This instantly shut them up.

    I'm a few days away from my 5 year anniversary. I lost about 110 pounds and have been a normal weight since then. You are right when you say having surgery is a tool. The tool works. You are right everyday isn't easy but it also isn't as hard as any diet I ever did. I still use a lot of the guidelines given to me by my bariatric center to lose weight to maintain weight loss. I watch what I eat (portions sizes are critical) and I exercise (walk daily).

    If you have the support of your husband that's all you need. He's the person you want to grow old with. He's the person whose hand you want to hold when you're in your 80's. Good luck.



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  15. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member sraebaer's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    10/07/2013
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Last Activity
    Today 11:01 AM
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    Quote Originally Posted by mellowjoy View Post
    Your first sentence says it all "I have been considering WLS for 2 years". WLS isn't a decision to make over night and if you've been considering it for two years you've revisited all the pros and cons multiple times and made the best decision for you. Prior to having surgery I lost and gained the same weight time and time again for 20+ years. I did every diet plan there was including using dieting drugs. I took a year to decide if I was going to allow weight and what other people thought to kill me or if I was going to make a decision to be healthy. As I told my family members, if I died from obesity you all would be the first to say that I should have had the surgery. This instantly shut them up.

    I'm a few days away from my 5 year anniversary. I lost about 110 pounds and have been a normal weight since then. You are right when you say having surgery is a tool. The tool works. You are right everyday isn't easy but it also isn't as hard as any diet I ever did. I still use a lot of the guidelines given to me by my bariatric center to lose weight to maintain weight loss. I watch what I eat (portions sizes are critical) and I exercise (walk daily).

    If you have the support of your husband that's all you need. He's the person you want to grow old with. He's the person whose hand you want to hold when you're in your 80's. Good luck.

    So true! Your husband's support will be all you need! Can't wait to hear of your success!



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  17. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    10/02/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr Walter Cha
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Last Activity
    Today 07:11 AM
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    Akron, Ohio
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    Almost everyone on this forum had at least one person tell them that you can lose without surgery. You can try this or that diet. We all needed a surgery because we have an eating disorder. We tried every diet there ever was. I could lose weight with the best of them, only to regain again and again. That being said gastric sleeve surgery is only a tool. However it is a very powerful tool. For me it was a life changer. I have only one life and it was the best thing I did FOR MYSELF. Remember, it is your life. Not theirs. The fact that your husband is on board is great. What do you think? Is this good for YOU. If so go ahead and find out everything you can about this surgery. Talk to as many as you can who had it. I will never giver you medical advice to have a surgery but it worked for me and many on this forum. If YOU choose surgery and some close to you think it is wrong, they are not thinking in your best interest. Your life not theirs.



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  19. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member kenson's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    01/13/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Karl Strom
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    I also second and third the statement "your husband's support is all you need." To your family simply say, I've made the decision to move forward with weight loss surgery and would appreciate your support in helping care for the children." You don't need anyone's opinion, which is precisely why I told no one, not even my husband (now ex), until a week before my surgery. You have to do what you feel is best for you. If your husband is on board, that is icing on the cake!



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  21. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Surgery date
    04/04/2020
    Surgeon
    Mr Rishi Singhal
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Last Activity
    03-17-2020 12:22 PM
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    I love hearing from you all personally about the successes you have had and the strength you have shown.
    In my instance- I was definitely not asking for my families opinions and I have been completely shocked at how passionate they have been about stopping me from having the surgery. I guess I just don’t know how to move forward.


  22. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Surgery date
    04/04/2020
    Surgeon
    Mr Rishi Singhal
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Last Activity
    03-17-2020 12:22 PM
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    I am so excited for you that you are so close to your surgery. How have you coped with pre op diet and so you have any nerves at all?
    I really thought after all this time I would be at that point too. I just need to listen to all this advice and be strong and my own advocate.


  23. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Surgery date
    04/04/2020
    Surgeon
    Mr Rishi Singhal
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Last Activity
    03-17-2020 12:22 PM
    Posts
    5
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    That is so emotive but also so true whah you have said about if you had died from obesity they would have wished you had had the surgery. That is exactly what I want to say!!

    My husband is so supportive and came with my to my consultation. He asked his own questions and the questions my family had so it was. Very thorough appointment. I live in Northern Ireland so I have to travel to England to have the surgery. I would go have the surgery myself so that my husband could stay with our children, but the hospital only release patient into care of adult. Afterwards I have to stay for 2 more days in England before I am cleared to fly home by surgeon. It is safest option but more challenging due to relying on support to mind children.

    How did you all manage logistics? Did anyone else have to travel for surgery?


  24. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member Laurallynn's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Laural
    Surgery date
    09/28/2012
    Surgeon
    Cuneen
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Last Activity
    04-20-2020 12:42 PM
    Location
    West Los Angeles, CA
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    When I made my decision to have the surgery I only told a select few that I was doing it. My reason was not for shame, but I had made my decision and the people that I did not tell I already knew what they would say. Quite frankly, it was my business and I did not need to hear any negativity from those family and friends.

    Go with your gut and you decide. It will be the best decision of your life. Remember this operation is a tool to help us get to our goal.



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  26. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Annie
    Surgery date
    10/05/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ryan Heider
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    06-01-2020 10:02 AM
    Location
    NC
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    Quote Originally Posted by angelgravy View Post
    I love hearing from you all personally about the successes you have had and the strength you have shown.
    In my instance- I was definitely not asking for my families opinions and I have been completely shocked at how passionate they have been about stopping me from having the surgery. I guess I just don’t know how to move forward.
    Oh my! So glad your husband is in your corner. I told lots of people (that's just me), and I'd say about 90% are in my corner. BUT everyone wanted to tell me about someone for whom it was a disaster.

    I've had the healthiest 2+ years since VGS. And no pun intended, "the proof is in the pudding."

    You and your husband get to decide. And I've finally learned that when someone asked too much, to say "whyever do you need to know?"
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

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  28. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member kenson's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    01/13/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Karl Strom
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Last Activity
    Today 03:21 PM
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    Default Re: Surgery judgement

    Quote Originally Posted by angelgravy View Post
    I love hearing from you all personally about the successes you have had and the strength you have shown.
    In my instance- I was definitely not asking for my families opinions and I have been completely shocked at how passionate they have been about stopping me from having the surgery. I guess I just don’t know how to move forward.
    You've done your research, you know this is what you want to do. I have found that a lot of times people will project THEIR fears on to you. You don't have any fears (except reasonable ones) about the surgery. Just do what feels right for you.



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