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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Dr Mario Morales
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    Default Telling Others About My Surgery??

    Is it a good idea to be honest about having bariatric surgery? I live in a close-knit neighborhood and am blessed with a lot of friends. I feel comfortable telling a couple of my best friends but I know that there will be a lot of talk if everyone knows. I really dont mind people knowing, I just dont want to be in the position of constantly defending my decision and constantly talk about it. I want to just get healthy and not be obsessively talking about weight and food anymore. My experience right now has been that when I share my excitement of possibly having the surgery (if approved), people respond with stupid questions like, "why dont you go see a dietician?", or "why dont you join weight watchers?" They just havent a clue!

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  4. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Dutchie's Avatar
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    Simonne
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    Dr. Pablo Enriquez Valens
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    No, they have no clue.
    I wouldn't tell anybody if I were you.
    Not even your closest friends.
    It's nobodies business.
    If they are around you long enough, they will have probably seen you loose weight a number of times (that was true for me, I was always on some sort of diet).
    They are used to see you loose and regain over the years.
    The only difference is that you maintain your weight loss this time.
    If you want to tell them anything, just say you are on a medically supervised diet, were you are only allowed to eat small portions six times a day and that you will have to do a lot of exercise.
    Period.
    Like I said, you don't owe any explanations to anybody.
    English is not my first language anymore, so I may and do make mistakes in my spelling, or say things oddly. Please ask me, if you want any clarifications.



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  6. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Annie
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    10/05/2017
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    Dr. Ryan Heider
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    I think it depends on how you chose to move forward with a very personal journey.
    I am old (ok, 67 almost 68). I had my VGS 2 years ago October 5. I chose to share it with my adult children, my close circle of friends, and if someone asked me about my weight loss, how I was losing but I know they didn't need details, I just asked them "whyever would you want to know? You seem to balance your life/weight well?"

    In short, my life has lead me to the appropriate disclosure of some things other people may not choose to share aloud. I don't overshare, but always bear the hope that my struggle might help someone else if shared at the right time.

    That said, I do weight watchers, and don't feel I have to disclose my VGS status since I'm doing it for maintenance education and having struggled for many years with the weight I can still share authentic and helpful support to others.

    I totally get why everyone makes a different choice. See if you can find the thread about "the easy way", which is how some less informed folks view VGS. It's pretty complete in handling things <3
    [I]HW: 240 lbs CW: 205 lbs: SW: 199 lbs GW: 130 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4
    3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 MO = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0 (GOAL)
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 136.00

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  8. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member sraebaer's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    NOOOO!!!! Don't do it!

    I made the mistake of telling only my 2 best friends (besides my immediate family). One must have blabbed and I was so shocked when someone I hardly knew came up to me at a Christmas party talking about my surgery.

    Not only that, when people hear they will say the most ridiculous stuff. Totally stupid! Often it's about someone who they knew who had surgery and died. Really? But typically it's about someone who gained back all their weight or never lost. Or that a sleeved person is not taught how to eat. Or it's the easy way out and you're just lazy. Which is nuts because I have always been a big hiker, skier, walker, etc even when I was fat. I had spent a fortune on a personal trainer and every diet program known to man. (or woman). The weight just wasn't moving.

    I was so positive about my journey I didn't want to hear ANY of this nonsense or negativity. I lost all my weight and have kept it off for over 5 years now. So my personal opinion is don't tell. Just knock their socks off when they see you shrink!

    Long after I did lose the weight, I did tell anyone who asked how I did it if I could tell the sleeve would benefit that particular person. Others I just stuck with the diet and exercise story, which is not a lie. And by then I guess I didn't care what got out, my success?

    Good luck, it's so much fun!



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  10. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Sandra3's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Sandra
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    01/20/2016
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    Dr W
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    I agree with our friends : don't tell!!
    Most people (even doctors!) understand nothing about obesity. The root of the problem is hormonal for most of us, diets/exercise won't work by itself.

    I would recommend reading an excellent book from Dr Fung "obesity code". It's not about bariatric surgery but does explain the how and why obesity is ramping...

    Long story short, I did read it three months after I had surgery, and decided to go low carbs because I was not losing with my team's guidelines, I had surgery when I was in Asia and they eat lots of carbs, it did show in my guideline.
    I did a moderate low carb (under 50gr per day) switch and it did help a lot. Without that my weight was not moving...

    I was planning on telling only a few people around me about the surgery, but someone was ear dropping during a family reunion and gossips started right after. People are bloody awful and project many things that are actually their own issues in the first place.

    So ....just don't tell....it will save you from indelicate comments and endless gossips...

    Good luck and take care!


    HW : 150 kgs
    09/02/2014 : 142 /1st apt
    01/20/2016 : 134 /surgery
    01/30/2016 : 130 /1st post-op
    02/27/2016 : 126 /2nd
    04/23/2016 : 118 /3rd
    07/16/2016 : 109 / 4th
    10/01/2016 : 103 /5th
    01/21/2017 : 98 /1 year post-op
    February 2017 : 100 lbs lost
    07/22/2017 : 96
    10/21/2017 : 93
    12/22/2017 : 91
    01/02/2018 : 96!! regain (medication)

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  13. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member kenson's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Dr. Karl Strom
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    Like Ann said, it all depends on how you want to move through this personal journey of yours. I felt that I had done my research, I was thrilled with the doctor I had chosen, and I knew the sleeve was the best solution for me. I wasn't interested in any one else's opinions or fears. I told my then husband, and my 2 aunts and uncle the week before I had my surgery. If you want to discuss it, wait until after your surgery is done. You don't want any one else's fears to be projected on to you.



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  15. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Dr Mario Morales
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    Thank you so much for all the very helpful reply's. A bariatric Doctor on the internet suggested that it was best to tell everyone the truth. Of course he never had the addiction or the surgery. I wanted to hear it from those that undertand completely and are "living it." I feel better now considering this issue.
    I am so thankful for this group of caring, honest people!

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  17. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    04/29/2019
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    Dr. Foreman
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    Heck no, don't tell anyone other than your significant other. I was excited and very comfortable with my decision to move forward after a few years of consideration and educating myself to the surgery and what to expect. My hubs has been my greatest fan and that's all I need, besides my own mirror.

    People unfortunately have a way of dismissing or diminishing your journey and success oftentimes and don't realize that although the sleeve is a major tool, we are still doing lots of hard work every day to lose and keep the weight off. I don't lie to anyone when asked 'how' I simply state portion control, eating healthy and exercise. That is the truth and I feel fine in sharing that and nothing more.

    Good luck on your journey, it's been an amazing ride.



  18. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member JannyAZ's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    06/27/2019
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    Dr. Burpee (that's right)
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    OK, looks like I’m in the minority here. I have told my friends and family. I hope I don’t come to regret it, but so far so good. My thinking is that with people knowing I am making myself more accountable. Also, my friends and family are for the most part well educated and intelligent people. They know how unhealthy and dangerous being obese is.
    As for the stupid people out there that I might encounter, maybe if I correct their misconceptions about bariatric surgery I’ll help someone else who is struggling. While I was researching surgery and trying to make up my mind I read an medical paper/study that said the biggest problem with bariatric surgery is that more people don’t get it done!
    Do what’s right for you.
    Height: 5'3
    HW: 234.0 BMI 41.5
    2 week pre-op diet loss: 7
    SW: 190.5
    CW: 144.5
    GW: 125 BMI 22



  19. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Dr Mario Morales
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    Thank you, Janny for your honest point of view. There are always two sides to a coin.

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  21. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member AshleyinTX's Avatar
    Surgery date
    07/02/2014
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    Dr Charles Smith
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    I'm new here and don't want to ruffle any feathers, but I think it's a personal decision. I personally don't hide the fact I had the surgery. If people want to put some kind of judgment on me for it, they can go jump in a lake. It's not their body, their money, their decision or their business. I work In a hospital and people are generally more supportive. My family was supportive as were my friends. I actually share an office with a woman who also had a sleeve and has told no one but me - And I have a co-worker on my team that has only told a select few people. So it is a personal choice. No right or wrong. Bottom line - it is a personal issue. No one has a "right" to know about your personal health issues. You don't need to share with anyone if you don't want to, but if you don't mind, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of either - if someone has an opinion, simply reply with "well, I am sorry you feel that way but it was the right choice for me and I am actually really happy I did it" and shut them down. I respect completely everyone's choice to tell or not to tell, and I support everyone's choice to tell or not to tell. Your decision, your choice.


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  23. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Dr Mario Morales
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    Thank you Ashley for your input. My story is a little different. I had the lapband for 8 yrs and that is why I know that there will be a lot of questions about why that failed and why I think this will work. I know in my heart that this will work for me. Some of the same rules that I did with the lap band will apply with the sleeve. So I am a little prepared with knowing some of the life changes that I will commit to. My appointment with my surgeon is January 3rd and that is when I will hopefully get a date.

  24. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member KiwiGal's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Lisa
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    09/04/2017
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    Stephanie Ulmer
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    Totally a personal decision whether you decide to tell anyone/everyone.
    I had heard some very negative comments about an acquaintance that had bariatric surgery and I was not willing to have that negativity in my life. Other than my partner I told only 3 of my best friends (friends for over 40 years who were aware of my struggle with weight and who I knew would be supportive).
    I am a little more relaxed about telling people now (2 years out) - if they ask - but there are some people that I will never ever tell.
    Most people seem to have forgotten how fat I was or have only met me since I am smaller so it really isn't an issue.
    One thing was that there were some people who were very concerned over my rapid weight loss and were worried that I was ill. They asked my partner and he said that I was totally fine and it was all planned. I felt a bit bad that there were worried about me.



  25. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member Katrina's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Katrina
    Surgery date
    11/04/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Borland
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    I just don't know. I told my friends and wish now that I hadn't. They have big mouths. It's not that I care if people know, it's that I want to be the one to tell. It's been 5 years and both of them still introduce me to strangers as "This is my friend Katrina. She had gastric bypass." Those dummies don't even tell the correct surgery. But...

    There's a girl I'm friends with on facebook. I've known her since she was a toddler. She has very obviously had the surgery, but post after umpteenth post every damn day she tells everyone how hard she's dieting, exercising, and doing it on her own... all starting right after her trip to Tijuana. It annoys the crap out of me that she is blatantly lying to everyone.

    So I don't know. I don't feel like it is anyone's business, but I also can't stand a liar.
    No pre-op diet
    Day of surgery 11/4/14: 5'4" 213lbs
    1 month: 187
    2 months: 171
    3 months: 155
    4 months: 148
    5 months: 142
    6 months: 136
    7 months: 131
    8 months: 125
    9 months: 120
    10 months: 114
    11 months: 111
    1 year: 109
    1.5 years: 105
    2 years: 108
    2.5 years: 102
    3 years: 113
    4 years: 115


  26. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    10/02/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr Walter Cha
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    Default Re: Telling Others About My Surgery??

    My opinion is to tell very very few people. So many don't understand or want to comment on something they know nothing about. It does get easier with time. I am over 2 years post surgery and if someone tells me I must have had surgery I turn the tables on them and say I only told close friends. That usually shuts them up. Those who really care for you will support you. But just like having the surgery this is your call. If you feel comfortable telling a close friend or relative that's up to you. I only had one poor experience but this person is miserable with his life and criticizes every thing and everybody. So for me not to bad. For you ladies it may be different. Remember I'm a Cleveland Browns fan and if you do something I don't like I hit you over the head with a helmet.



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