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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member melkay1968's Avatar
    Surgeon
    Jamie Ponce
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Last Activity
    04-09-2020 12:46 PM
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    Unhappy Single and alone

    Anyone else gone through this process all alone? My family is 5 hours away and came down for my surgery and stayed a few days. I feel decent. A little down right now, asI am getting a little depressed knowing that all of my support system is 5 hours away. My one friend (bff I thought) where I live hasn't been to see me and has only messaged me twice since surgery. I was hoping for a little support but I realized last night it is all up to me. I need to figure out how to be my own cheerleader and support system. I felt so good right after surgery but am now starting to feel really crappy both physically and mentally. Any advice?



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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Mmeghan's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    10/18/2018
    Surgeon
    Jorge Maytorena
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Last Activity
    07-22-2020 08:55 PM
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    99
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    Default Re: Single and alone

    That’s rough. But you always have people to talk to here.



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  5. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member Dutchie's Avatar
    Name
    Simonne
    Surgery date
    01/03/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Pablo Enriquez Valens
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Last Activity
    07-05-2020 12:35 AM
    Posts
    1,494
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 365 Times
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: Single and alone

    That is not easy.
    But like Mmeghan said, you can always come here (a lot).
    There are always people here to listen and give advice, if needed.
    Feel free to share anything you want!
    English is not my first language anymore, so I may and do make mistakes in my spelling, or say things oddly. Please ask me, if you want any clarifications.



  6. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Annie
    Surgery date
    10/05/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ryan Heider
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    11-29-2020 11:18 AM
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    1,572
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 271 Times
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Single and alone

    Pretty normal after the anticipation and anxiety of surgery, and then the actual medical things -- hold on to the program and your WHY that you're doing this. We are all here for you (yeah, we are virtual/real).

    You can do this for you! And ifi someone cannot support your journey, it will be a loss of a friendship - but you'll find your way. You've got this!
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

  7. #5
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: Single and alone

    Sometimes right after surgery being alone can be better than a house full of people eating junk food! You will be able to control exactly what comes into your house and mouth.

    Sorry you're feeling lonely. Are you getting out and walking everyday? That always elevates my mood! We have moved a lot as a family all over the country, and I always had to look for places to meet people; church, new neighbors groups, the gym, a book club, or anything that may interest you. Good luck, and you always have us!

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  9. Gastric Sleeve Surgery With Weight Loss Agents
  10. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member kenson's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    01/13/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Karl Strom
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Last Activity
    06-29-2023 07:07 PM
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    1,354
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    Default Re: Single and alone

    We are all here for you. No, seriously, we are here for you. This is the best place to come and vent and share. We've been there, and we know what you're going through. After my surgery, I was on my own as well. My cousin did come down and was with me the day of and day after, but after that I was on my own. During this time, I rested, and read my "sleeve bible" to make sure that I was following the guidelines. It's tough, but you're starting a whole new chapter!



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  12. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    04/29/2019
    Surgeon
    Dr. Foreman
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Last Activity
    01-26-2020 02:17 AM
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    371
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 115 Times

    Default Re: Single and alone

    I'm so sorry you are going through this alone, but you are your own best advocate in the long run. You will get stronger physically stronger each day going forward. Focus on following your eating regime to the letter, try and get out and do some walking as you can. I changed so much mentally, I gained confidence and my depression from being so overweight and shut in has disappeared. It is the best feeling in the world.

    You can do this and we're here to help cheer you one!!!



  13. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    06/27/2019
    Surgeon
    Dr. Burpee (that's right)
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Last Activity
    01-02-2021 08:41 AM
    Posts
    107
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    Default Re: Single and alone

    Jamie, I’m sorry you’re feeling alone and down right now. I’ve pretty much been going through this alone, but reality is that I’m the one who got heavy and I’m the one who has control of getting it off and healthy. I’m widowed and live alone. After surgery I stayed with my sister for a couple days then went home to start this journey.
    I don’t know if you live in a rural or metro area, but many towns have MeetUp groups and sometimes you can find weight loss or even bariatric surgery support groups there. Meetups are a great way to meet people with similar interests. In my town I there is a Facebook bariatric support group which can lead to face to face relationships with folks going through the same thing. Does your surgeon offer a support group? If not, maybe suggest it or start one yourself.
    Like sraebaer mentioned, exercise can really help your mood. This is especially true when it comes to getting outside.
    And yes, be your own cheerleader. You have a lot to be proud of! Just having surgery was a big step and you’re losing weight. Be kind to yourself and do nice things for yourself. Example: I’ve taken to getting myself flowers once in a while.
    A live, face to face relationship with people who understand the challenges your facing would be best, but meanwhile, we’re here for you.
    Take good care!

  14. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    06/25/2018
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Last Activity
    06-21-2020 05:03 PM
    Posts
    97
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    Default Re: Single and alone

    The flip side of having lots of people around is having people subtly pulling you back to your old habits. I for instance had to convince a two and four year old they could not run into me or sit on my lap or have me pick them up. Also having foods around I couldn't eat was a problem.

    You have given yourself a great opportunity to reset your life in a healthier way. The first few weeks are hard but as the weight comes off and you get in a routine you will feel better. In your shoes I'd set the goal to focus on my treatment and schedule to see your family at home during the holidays. When you show up significantly smaller than they know you to be it'll give you a huge boost in confidence.

    Right before and after surgery are the hardest time because you've made the biggest sacrifices and changes but haven't seen the results as much. Stick to your diet, fluids, and exercise and by late November you'll feel much better when people you know are shocked by your progress.

    You probably don't have a huge local support system because of lack of confidence in yourself due to your weight. That was true for all of us. The act of losing the weight will boost your self esteem and help you get out there and make new friends. All of us found new people in ours lives through this process and most discovered people who we thought cared about us who weren't supportive and tried to sabotage us or couldn't figure out how to treat a skinny version of ourselves. In other words some people you know won't be able to give up on you being the "fat friend". All that is normal.



  15. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member melkay1968's Avatar
    Surgeon
    Jamie Ponce
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Last Activity
    04-09-2020 12:46 PM
    Posts
    5
    Said "Thanks" 12 Times
    Was Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times

    Default Re: Single and alone

    You guys are awesome and make so much sense! Thank you!



  16. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    John S
    Surgery date
    08/20/2019
    Surgeon
    Jan Cagas and Tomas Paseka
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Last Activity
    07-24-2020 11:19 AM
    Location
    Nottingham, England, UK
    Posts
    24
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    Was Thanked 22 Times in 14 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times

    Default Re: Single and alone

    You are not alone, this is a very supportive group of people who are experiencing the same feelings, have already experienced them and can help you with advice and positive encouragement. Congratulations on your surgery btw, welcome to the club



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  18. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member kk2219's Avatar
    Surgery date
    01/13/2020
    Surgeon
    dr. roberts
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Last Activity
    09-30-2019 08:37 PM
    Posts
    2
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    Default Re: Single and alone

    I will be in the same boat. It is the part I most worry about. Post-op will be the toughest part.

  19. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    John S
    Surgery date
    08/20/2019
    Surgeon
    Jan Cagas and Tomas Paseka
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Last Activity
    07-24-2020 11:19 AM
    Location
    Nottingham, England, UK
    Posts
    24
    Said "Thanks" 1 Times
    Was Thanked 22 Times in 14 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times

    Default Re: Single and alone

    Melkay and kk guys you have masses of forum support, anytime you have a question about diet, feelings, support, progress etc I have seen the kind people of this forum help in whatever way they can



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  21. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Surgery date
    10/09/2019
    Surgeon
    Dr. Northup
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Last Activity
    07-21-2020 01:42 PM
    Posts
    52
    Said "Thanks" 0 Times
    Was Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times

    Default Re: Single and alone

    hope you are feeling better.



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  23. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member KiwiGal's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lisa
    Surgery date
    09/04/2017
    Surgeon
    Stephanie Ulmer
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Last Activity
    05-24-2021 09:49 PM
    Location
    Auckland New Zealand
    Posts
    1,417
    Said "Thanks" 797 Times
    Was Thanked 909 Times in 702 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 750 Times
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Single and alone

    As others have said you are not alone - we are all here. I know it's not quite the same as having someone physically with you but it's the net best thing because we all know what you are going through. Personally I'm a terrible patient and I think my partner was probably wishing that I was on my own ;-)
    Please come on here anytime and have a chat/rant/whatever. There is always someone here to listen.
    Hang in there - this is only going to get better and better for you.



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