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Thread: Kids

  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member EllisM80's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Michelle
    Surgery date
    10/11/2018
    Surgeon
    Dr. Clifford Black
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Last Activity
    12-24-2019 10:27 AM
    Location
    Valley, Alabama
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    Default Kids

    Y'all, I am really struggling with how to deal with 2 of my girls. I have very carefully tried to warn them about the dangers of overeating, not exercising, etc. I haven't done it like my grandfather done it to me. He called me fat before I ever even had an issue. I was skinny scrawny and he was calling me fat. It made me want to eat. I've never treated my kids like that. But I have controlled their portions. Not just their portions but the other 4 as well. Even my stick children. Lol. We would eat low carb the majority of the time. I only bought zero sugar drinks for their lunches and supper... then they drink water the rest of the day. We moved in with the people we moved in with and the 2 that I've been most concerned about have gained. My oldest is the one that concerns me the most. Her biological father is a diabetic. He has been hospitalized for it many times, has been in a coma from it and even his grandmother died from diabetic related problems. She went from 200 lbs to 220 when we moved in here. My other one went from 129 to 150. The lady that we live with buys them candy weekly, the husband is the youth pastor and he buys donuts every Sunday morning. Lovely people with hearts of gold but they don't suffer with a weight problem or food addiction problems. My girls do. I don't know what to do. When I'm not around, they eat whatever they want. School starts back for them on Wednesday and I know that they both will eat their lunch and scarf down a friends lunch as well if given to them. I've talked healthy advice until I'm blue in the face. What do I do now??




    HW: 315 lbs (2008) Maintained at 296 until 2015.
    SW: 255 lbs (10/11/18)
    1 mth post op: 229 -26lbs
    8 weeks post op 213 -42lbs
    3 months post op 197 -58lbs (at home)
    3 month post op appt 196 -59 lbs (1/28/19)
    6 months post op 171 -84 lbs (4/11/19) (at home)
    9 months post op 150 -105 lbs (7/11/19) (at home) *GOAL*
    1 year post op - maintained at 150

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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member WANAGL's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Cyndi
    Surgery date
    12/30/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Robert Marema
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
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    01-09-2020 06:15 PM
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    Hampton Beach, FL
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    Default Re: Kids

    My youngest granddaughter’s weight skyrocketed a few years back. She was diagnosed pre-diabetic. Diabetes gallops in my family. (I was diagnosed and on insulin from age 21.)

    My son took her to a Therapist and a Nutritionist. She was able to be part of the solution...from shopping to cooking, meal prep from a-z. It was a difficult time for everyone at first. Now she is a healthy-sized 17 year old.

    EVERYONE had to be on the same page. That meant my son had to set boundaries for his daughter with certain relatives and friends. Some people didn’t respond very well. My son was determined to keep his daughter healthy...I’m extremely proud of him for standing up for her and what he knew was in her best interest.

    I send All Good Thoughts and Prayers ;-)




  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member Sandra3's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Sandra
    Surgery date
    01/20/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr W
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Last Activity
    06-25-2020 09:15 AM
    Location
    France
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    Default Re: Kids

    Many things to say here....where to start!!

    First, your children are growing up, it's normal for them to be hungry, let's not talk about food addiction here. Not yet. I think it's important to separate your experience from what they are living now. Also they had a hard time those past months and indeed food is a comfort...they need it, I don't think restraining portions is the right way to handle it (because teens...), try instead to let them eat what they need but only put on the table what's good for them? I mean...you can't have too much veggies...

    So you live with a host family and can't control all the food they bring, that's a big issue. Try to talk to them gently about nutrition and empty calories it could help.

    But let's not forget here that between diabetes and obesity, your kids probably already have metabolism issues.
    I can tell, I've been dealing with the same thing with my children.
    The older one started to gain "a little" (10 pounds) when she stopped her "pro-ballet" program in HS. Then she left for college....and that was the beginning of the end. She has been gaining 30 pounds per year and is now morbidly obese. Her boyfriend is Italian and eat pasta at EVERY meal...they don't care about nutrition, and I stopped giving advice because she will just do the opposite of what I say.

    My youngest is 13 and a few months ago I could tell something was wrong, I took her with me for an other blood test and here she was, pre-diabetic, but very close from needing meds!!

    Like Cyndi said, it's the effort from everyone in the family that does work. So we all went very low carbs, even more than before, she took supplements and after six weeks she was back to normal!!!!. My PCP is amazed and asked me how I did it!! He never saw that kind of result before!! I'm glad so many years of classes can finally help!

    My youngest does write the grocery shopping list with me with "what she wants to eat" and that way she can have things she likes.
    Of course there is always people around to sabotage your efforts but it's important to make the kid understand that her health is the most important thing, and she doesn't want to start meds for diabetes. She knows it's not her fault, because it's in her genes, but she can see now that making the right choices do change the deal!

    My in laws had a hard time to understand (they are diabetic and don't eat the right things, take lots of meds) so I had to prep them before the kids trip this Summer...of course when you explain basics to people who think they know everything it's hard to break cliches but since they know I'm actually "very well informed" since I've been taking classes for years...and I'm the mum, that's my choice first.....they did comply, but it was hard...

    So here is what I would do if I was you :
    - have them have a blood test, check for iron/ferritin levels and indeed glycemia/A1C
    if their iron is too low, even if they are not anemic, it could make them hungry, so since they are girls it's important to check that early

    - do not let them drink "zero sugar drinks" because artificial sweetener is the same as sugar, it does trigger the insulin response, which is a big issue for the metabolism. It's water only, or tea/herbal tea or water with "natural flavors, sparkling water...that's it. No fake sugar. For real, it's poison. Sugar would actually be "better"!

    - they gained 20 pounds each, but did they grow up? how long did it take to gain those 20 pounds? don't focus on those pounds, it's ok, they can lose it later. What's important is not to gain more.

    When people go "low carb" sometimes they don't eat enough and we are all afraid of fat (because we've been all brainwashed) but healthy fat will actually make them full. Half an avocado for example has plenty of good fat and with the right protein it can make them full quickly. Try to make a list of their favorite food.

    Let me know if you have questions, I will be happy to help!

    And don't feel guilty....we (mothers) just carry guilt around (we gave them those bad genes, I'm obese that's why they have issues etc etc) trying to find solution is the best way to deal with those issues, and really, it does work!! it's just time consuming and does give us headaches but whatever...only the results count!!

    Take care


    HW : 150 kgs
    09/02/2014 : 142 /1st apt
    01/20/2016 : 134 /surgery
    01/30/2016 : 130 /1st post-op
    02/27/2016 : 126 /2nd
    04/23/2016 : 118 /3rd
    07/16/2016 : 109 / 4th
    10/01/2016 : 103 /5th
    01/21/2017 : 98 /1 year post-op
    February 2017 : 100 lbs lost
    07/22/2017 : 96
    10/21/2017 : 93
    12/22/2017 : 91
    01/02/2018 : 96!! regain (medication)


  5. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member jerzeygirl's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    07/20/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr. Louis Balsama
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
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    Default Re: Kids

    Michelle, I totally agree with the eloquent words that both ladies here shared already. I, myself, was a morbidly obese child/teen/adult, and now that I'm more savvy, realize I was insulin dependent and later it turned into full blown diabetes. I do think that the child/teen has to be part of the solution and that a blood test will determine if you're dealing with insulin dependence. I was pre-diabetic for years before I became insulin dependent and on mega doses of Metformin, before surgery. You are smart to be aware and moving forward in a pro-active manner will help prevent many of the co-morbidities that have yet manifested. I love the way Sandra put the "guilt thing for moms" as my own wonderful mom took me to weight watchers when I was 12 and I know how she worried about my health and emotions from growing up morbidly obese, so in this instance guilt has to be overrun by concern for health and intervention is better sooner than later. Good luck moving forward to all of you!



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  7. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christie
    Surgery date
    11/03/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Wright
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Last Activity
    09-12-2019 04:13 PM
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    Default Re: Kids

    You have gotten great advice and I don't have anything of value to add other than I hope that you get it under control. We want what is best for our children and it is such a difficult issue to deal with. If not handled the right way, it can cause either more overeating or anorexia/bulimia. That being said I did see a wonderful video of a parent who helped her young daughter lose about 30 lbs. The girl was around 7 or 8. One thing she said was we are going to start eating right and exercising so you can run around and keep up with your friends. Not about losing weight. But she did have her weigh in to see her progress. It was beautiful. Don't know how old your kids are but if there is something similar you can say so the focus is health related versus weight related. Wishing you all the best. Hugs.



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