I never thought I would get to this day, yet here it is. One year ago at this time, I had just come out of the OR. I was nauseated beyond belief but not in too much pain. I woke up with alcohol wipes under my nose and a fan blowing in my face. The nausea hung around a lot longer for me, resulting in a 5 day stay in the hospital instead of the customary 1 night, but it was ok. It worked out. Other than the terrible potassium shots that I would not recommend, it wasn't too bad at all.
The days after were a little rougher - it hurt to move around but I needed to. My head and hormones were all messed up and I wondered what the hell I had done to myself. This didn't last long either. Before long, I was home from my parents' house, walking up and down the stairs, walking my dog, and going back to work.
Over this past year, I learned that I am braver and stronger than I thought. I have more will-power than I imagined. I have had to deal with my own inner struggle with that fat girl who lives inside of my brain. But slowly and surely, I have come out of my shell. How nice to cross my legs, shop in the regular clothing section, not be scared that I would break a stool or a plastic chair!
Also over the past year, because I came to really believe in and love myself, I have found a gift greater than I ever imagined. I have found love again. He never knew the "fat" me, but he says I was beautiful then too. He roots for me, he celebrates every change in clothes size but also says that I am beautiful inside and out. My mind tells me that it is my body that made this man look at me, and I guess even though it shouldn't be that way, it is just a fact of life. But my heart tells me that he sees all of me - the skinny outside, and the still sometimes fat inside. I am learning that it's ok when she (the fat girl inside) rears her head - she was the boss for a long time, and even she is getting used to the new me.
From 267 lb to 149.8 lb, steady for the past 6 months at 160 or below (my goal weight), I am now engaged to be married in the spring of next year.
Anybody who wonders if this surgery is worth it - listen to what the people here tell you. It works if you work it. The payoff is unbelievable, but it is a lifelong change. Be committed and you will reap the rewards. Hugs and love to all!!!!!!
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