Don't lick the beaters...

[EllisM80]

When you bake...
So I'm making another pull apart cake for a friend from church. Most times, it is difficult for me to not lick the beaters. Peanut butter icing is really good. This time, I'm not having an issue with it because I'm in so much pain, I can hardly think straight. I have come to the conclusion that my dream of being a pastry chef is not realistic anymore. I have been working on this cake since lunch. It's been 11 hours since I started it. Granted, I had to cook supper for my youngest 3and run a 20 minute errand but I should have been done with this cake already. I'm glad I don't have the desire for a taste of icing but I sure wish that my back could handle my dream job. I had hoped that having this surgery would help my back pain. It did but not enough for me to fulfill my dream. Is there anybody that has gone from being disabled to going back to work after surgery?

[JessNP]

My heart breaks for you my friend! You have so much on your plate and you continue to give and do for others. I wish I could offer you more. Is there nothing that can be done for your back pain? Epidural injections? Nerve ablation? What an awful way to have to live. Stay strong! You are in my thoughts and prayers always.

[EllisM80]

I heard that I could have a spinal cord stimulator installed. I guess it's supposed to basically not let the signals of pain get to the brain. I have to discuss this option with my neurosurgeon. I've been putting that off because he is located 2.5 hours away and I'm not really interested in trusting another neurosurgeon. I can't do that until after this summer because my son will be having surgery this summer. Ear, nose & throat issues for him. I've tried pain blocks, nerve blocks, epidurals, physical therapy... nothing ever worked for me. The spinal cord stimulator will be my last option. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I could definitely use them.

[Dutchie]

I honestly don't know what to say...
You have so much to deal with...
I admire your strength, but you may not feel strong sometimes.
But I can tell you, you ARE strong!
Good vibes are coming your way, that is all I can do.
I wish I could do more though...
xoxoxo

[EllisM80]

I honestly don't know what to say...
You have so much to deal with...
I admire your strength, but you may not feel strong sometimes.
But I can tell you, you ARE strong!
Good vibes are coming your way, that is all I can do.
I wish I could do more though...
xoxoxo

That is absolutely enough for me! Thank you! You're right, sometimes I don't feel strong. I am much stronger in the head than I am physically. Having an issue with both right now. My neurologist doesn't want to give me steroids until my relapse gets worse than it is. My right side from my shoulder down to my toes is numb and weak. Usually my relapses get bad pretty quickly but this relapse is just lingering. Its draining physically and starting to drain me emotionally. I either want it to hurry up and get worse so I can get steroids and get better or just go away. I don't want y'all to feel bad for me because this was the hand that I was dealt and I am truly okay with it. I have friends that are far worse off than I am. I am truly blessed. I just want your thoughts, prayers and hopefully one day, I'll hear of someone who was disabled at one time and was able to get off of it after surgery. That would put a pep in my step.

[AnnieG]

Prayers, and strengthening thoughts - I deal with multiple chronic issues, and any one in your situation would have to reacclimate to changes. It's hard.
For things where you are on your feet, have you tried a straight back wooden bar-type stoool? I found it was really helpful to keep the pain away. Please keep us posted.

[EllisM80]

I haven't but wouldn't be opposed to trying it. I've got to do something about this back pain. It's overwhelming. I think I'm in my feelings this week because a relapse always makes me sensitive and emotional.