I’m 6 days away from surgery and I am failing miserably at the pre-op diet. During the day, I can stick to the shakes but at night, I become ravenous, (h)angry and lose all self-control. Not eating sugar or fried foods but CARBS. Not to make excuses, but I am just so stressed out. As I've mentioned, I was abruptly laid off from work on May 3 - about 2 days after I finalized a loan and surgery date. Now I am scrambling with securing health insurance for the family, applying for unemployment, working with creditors to delay or skip payments, overdue mortgage, etc, etc.
In addition, I am desperately trying to find a job, dealing with recruiters and potential employers. Plus, my 6 year old graduates kindergarten next week and will then be “off” for the summer as we can’t afford camp. Had to cancel our Disney trip, pull her out of Tai-Kwan-do (which she LOVES) and didn’t even tell her yet that I will be in the hospital for 2-3 days next week (and miss her cute little graduation ceremony).
In the meantime, no sugar, no alcohol, no coffee/caffeine and no NSAIDS (which is the only thing that relieves my achy joints and lets me sleep). Now no solid food - just protein shakes, as I cook dinner every night for my super-skinny, pasta and carb-loving kid. I mean — something’s gotta give! And it’s my food addiction and constant voracious appetite that keeps tripping me up.
PLUS I woke up SICK this morning, with a sore throat, stuffy nose, massive headache, body aches - I just wanna EAT some yummy carb-heavy comfort food so bad. Instead, I’m popping Zicam and mixing up yucky SlimFast shakes (which was the cheapest pre-op shake on my surgeon’s list of options).
Sorry for the long, whiny post. It's just that I really don’t want to mess this up. What if I go in on Thursday and I didn’t lose any weight or worse, I gained? or my liver is too fat and blocking the stomach? I’ve got to lose SOME weight because my wedding rings are completely imbedded into my fat little finger and I don't want to have them cut off for surgery. I feel like such a failure. Ugh…rant over!
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