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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member Katrina's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Katrina
    Surgery date
    11/04/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Borland
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Last Activity
    06-22-2023 07:11 PM
    Location
    Mobile, Alabama
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    Default We've had this conversation before

    Here we go again.

    IMG_20190426_59690.jpg

    This is my best friend. We've been besties since high school. I love her. But... dammit! EVERY SINGLE TIME we are together she blurts out to everyone within earshot that I've had WLS. You guys, *sigh* I'm going to have to kill her. It's not that I care if people know. I care that it's my business to share when I want to share it. It's not Katrina had a boob job a year ago or Katrina had her gall bladder out in 1999. It's ALWAYS Katrina had weight loss surgery. WHY?! Clearly, it grates on my nerves. I don't know how to bring this up to her without sounding bitchy, because I do feel bitchy. I love her. I LOVE HER! Ok. It'll be ok. I'm fine.

    On the bright side, we had a fantastic time last night, and I'm dying today. Gotta get it together because we're gonna party like it's 1949 for my daddy's 70th tonight.

    Enjoy my shark ride (click for video)
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/5rcWtowQiGoKpt4S6
    No pre-op diet
    Day of surgery 11/4/14: 5'4" 213lbs
    1 month: 187
    2 months: 171
    3 months: 155
    4 months: 148
    5 months: 142
    6 months: 136
    7 months: 131
    8 months: 125
    9 months: 120
    10 months: 114
    11 months: 111
    1 year: 109
    1.5 years: 105
    2 years: 108
    2.5 years: 102
    3 years: 113
    4 years: 115
    5 years: 115
    6 years: 117



  2. Gastric Sleeve Surgery With Weight Loss Agents
  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christie
    Surgery date
    11/03/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Wright
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Last Activity
    09-12-2019 04:13 PM
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    5,169
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    Default Re: We've had this conversation before

    So since she probably used to be the "skinny" friend and now she is not...it is probably a subconscious (or not) way of pointing out that you are only skinnier because you had WLS. I know that sounds petty but she may be a little jealous to not be the skinny friend. I know that when my sister first had WLS I felt jealous because I had always been the skinny sister. I was really skinny growing up. And even when I was fat I was never as big as my sister. So when she got skinny I hated being the fat sister. BUT....I never called her out for it bc she is my sister. I do hate that I waited 5 years....yes FIVE FREAKING YEARS before I got the balls up to get my own weight under control. Ok...my 2 cents on why she probably does it.



  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member KiwiGal's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lisa
    Surgery date
    09/04/2017
    Surgeon
    Stephanie Ulmer
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Last Activity
    05-24-2021 09:49 PM
    Location
    Auckland New Zealand
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    Default Re: We've had this conversation before

    Lordy! That would be very tiresome.
    Personally I think I would have to have "the conversation" with her and tell her how I felt.
    Who know why she does it? There could be multiple reasons. If she still continues to do it after you have spoken to her then I would start to question my friendship. But that is just me!



  5. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member JessNP's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    05/23/2019
    Surgeon
    Dr Shillingford
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Last Activity
    07-14-2019 02:12 PM
    Location
    South Florida
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    188
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    Default Re: We've had this conversation before

    First of all, you look fantastic! And the shark video is a riot. Looks like a lot of fun. Secondly, as Lisa said, who knows why she does it? The point is that it really bothers you - A LOT. You need to tell her how you feel and ask her to please stop telling everyone your business. Be honest with her as she is your close dear friend - and those are really precious and harder to find these days.



  6. #5
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: We've had this conversation before

    Have you ever told her you don't want your weight loss surgery mentioned? That it's personal and not something to bring up with others? If you have, it may be time to end the relationship and tell her why. I would think she would come around, but at the moment the relationship sounds toxic and not worth dealing with if you have tried.

  7. Gastric Sleeve Surgery With Weight Loss Agents
  8. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    06/25/2018
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Last Activity
    06-21-2020 05:03 PM
    Posts
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    Default Re: We've had this conversation before

    Quote Originally Posted by Christie13 View Post
    So since she probably used to be the "skinny" friend and now she is not...it is probably a subconscious (or not) way of pointing out that you are only skinnier because you had WLS. I know that sounds petty but she may be a little jealous to not be the skinny friend. I know that when my sister first had WLS I felt jealous because I had always been the skinny sister. I was really skinny growing up. And even when I was fat I was never as big as my sister. So when she got skinny I hated being the fat sister. BUT....I never called her out for it bc she is my sister. I do hate that I waited 5 years....yes FIVE FREAKING YEARS before I got the balls up to get my own weight under control. Ok...my 2 cents on why she probably does it.
    From a guys prospective this is correct. Groups of women in many cases have dominance structure based on looks(guys do too). She feels dis-empowered by you being the thinner one when she is used to this role. Her comments are a subconscious or conscious effort to put you down and elevate herself. It's not an unusual thing, it's just we aren't used to it since most of us have never had that role.



  9. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member Laurallynn's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Laural
    Surgery date
    09/28/2012
    Surgeon
    Cuneen
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Last Activity
    04-20-2020 12:42 PM
    Location
    West Los Angeles, CA
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    Default Re: We've had this conversation before

    You just need to sit down and tell her how you feel. If you are truly that good of friends, she would want to know what you are feeling. It's tough, but you gotta do it.



  10. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Katrina's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Katrina
    Surgery date
    11/04/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Borland
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Last Activity
    06-22-2023 07:11 PM
    Location
    Mobile, Alabama
    Posts
    749
    Said "Thanks" 40 Times
    Was Thanked 388 Times in 276 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times
    Blog Entries
    34

    Default Re: We've had this conversation before

    I haven't said anything to her because I know I won't be able to say it without a tone. I do give her a look that should clearly show I'm not pleased, but I'm sure the alcohol distorts her vision. <see, bitchy>

    Also about her being used to being the skinny friend... that isn't exactly correct. I wasn't fat for very long. I was a respectable 138 lbs only 10 months before I had surgery. I gained a massive amount in a super short time, panicked, and had surgery. IDK, Maybe she's just a bitch. But she's my bitch, so I'll deal with it.
    No pre-op diet
    Day of surgery 11/4/14: 5'4" 213lbs
    1 month: 187
    2 months: 171
    3 months: 155
    4 months: 148
    5 months: 142
    6 months: 136
    7 months: 131
    8 months: 125
    9 months: 120
    10 months: 114
    11 months: 111
    1 year: 109
    1.5 years: 105
    2 years: 108
    2.5 years: 102
    3 years: 113
    4 years: 115
    5 years: 115
    6 years: 117



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