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Thread: Social eating

  1. #1
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    Default Social eating

    Does anyone get social anxiety eating with friend post gastric sleeve?
    Kim


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  3. #2
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: Social eating

    Very early on, yes. You can't eat much at all. I remember at 6 weeks we went out with friends and I ordered a small salad with a chicken breast on top. I felt like I would die after a few bites of chicken. (Sadly, now I could eat it all).

    Now after years no one would ever notice I was sleeved. I don't eat as much as they do, but I think I eat what a normal smaller sized woman would eat. My mom was never much over 110 and she always ate small portions. I remember she used to get full after one pancake and I couldn't believe it.

    So the further out, the easier eating out will get.

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  5. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Social eating

    I found that actually no one focused on me -- they had their own stuff going on. I always ask for a "to go" box first, and just tell the water that they have such amazing food but I'm not terrifically hungry and I dont want to be tempted by it on my plate. No one, other than the waiter, ever mentions it.

    As sraebaer says, it gets easier as you are further out. But I like being able to get my box up front, and then I feel like I ate what I should. People really don't care so much about your food as your company
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

  6. #4
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    Default Re: Social eating

    I went out after three weeks and all I could eat was scrambled eggs, and not much of it. lol
    I enjoyed the company and being out.
    But I don't care what other people think, that is me.
    Really, go out and enjoy yourself.
    Nobody pays attention.
    English is not my first language anymore, so I may and do make mistakes in my spelling, or say things oddly. Please ask me, if you want any clarifications.



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  8. #5
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: Social eating

    Totally true about no one really caring what you eat, they are eating their own stuff. My typical line at a restaurant is, "I'm not that hungry, I'll just have the ____." That way others probably think I just ate or something.

    I even get to order off the kids menu with that line if it's something healthy. Typically kids stuff is crap.

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  11. #6
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    Default Re: Social eating

    This is something I’ve been wondering about since our family enjoys going out to eat on a regular basis (and I guess we’re just foodies in general). Annie, love your idea to ask waiter upfront for to-go box. That way I won’t be so tempted to try just one more bite. We have some favorite eateries and I’ve looked up their menus online and kinda figured in advance what I could order that would be a healthy sleever option. I’m still quite a ways away from going to a restaurant but I guess it’s good to have a plan in place.



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  13. #7
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: Social eating

    Quote Originally Posted by DebF View Post
    This is something I’ve been wondering about since our family enjoys going out to eat on a regular basis (and I guess we’re just foodies in general). Annie, love your idea to ask waiter upfront for to-go box. That way I won’t be so tempted to try just one more bite. We have some favorite eateries and I’ve looked up their menus online and kinda figured in advance what I could order that would be a healthy sleever option. I’m still quite a ways away from going to a restaurant but I guess it’s good to have a plan in place.
    We go out all the time! I will typically order a healthy appetizer, something like ahi tuna. Or a small salad with chicken on top. Hubby hates to share, so If I am ordering a meal I order something that will be good the next day. (For example fish in the school microwave may not be popular on Monday morning). If it's pizza, I have one piece. It gets really easy.

  14. #8
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: Social eating

    My surgeon gives out cards to show to your server at a restaurant to order off the kids menu or get a smaller portion. No way would I do that! Totally unnecessary and embarrassing in my opinion. Most people in my life don't know about my surgery, why should the info get spread around a restaurant?

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  16. #9
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    Default Re: Social eating

    During my pre-op diet time frame we went to one of our local “Cheers-type” restaurants - my daughter and son-in-law were leary about putting me in a position to be meeting up with local friends and acquaintances and falling back into old habits but I was insistent that I COULD and needed to learn new ways around an old friend - the menu!

    It was surprisingly easier than I thought - I ordered the baked haddock (so did my son-in-law) and asked for no breadcrumb topping and light on any butter, broccoli and a side salad. It turned out to be the most delicious thick piece of flaky haddock and I shared it with everyone (even the kids) and it’s now a new menu favorite.

    On the “not so good” side of eating out — yesterday we had a family gathering for a one year old birthday party with a catered meal that included chicken/ziti Alfredo, seafood casserole, sirloin tips with gravy and gooey, cheesy pizza for the kids. I grabbed a plate of salad so it wasn’t so obvious that I wasn’t eating anything and poured a protein drink into a glass and no one even noticed a thing - they were all too busy filling their own plates. When I saw all the food I have to admit I experienced a bit of nostalgia but my stomach was definitely “turning” and telling me to stay away. It was actually easier than I thought it would be and having the protein drink with me was key. I turned to people-watching at that point and was wowed by all the overweight people filling plates that were piled sky high with enough food to feed an entire family. We love these folks and something inside me wanted to jump up and yell to stop what they’re doing to themselves, but . . . obviously can’t do that! Baby steps.

    One thing I do find that is somewhat problematic for me is my keen sense of SMELL - when I smell food cooking I find that tougher than actually looking at the food which turns me off. Anyone have this reaction to food smells or am I just a weird case?



  17. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member KiwiGal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Social eating

    When I first started eating out after surgery it was with my close friends who knew that I had had surgery, so no drama there at all. They used to suggest tapas type places or somewhere where we could share platters.
    As time went on and I expanded my circle (didn't tell anyone else though) I just chose (and still do) a small appetizer or entrée to have at the same time as everyone had their mains. No-one seemed to notice, and if they did, no-one cared.

    Funnily enough only last week I had to explain my lack of drinking with my meal to a waiter. He was quite insistent in his offering me something to drink. Probably trying to increase our bill with some alcohol. In the end after politely refusing several times I just told him that I had had stomach surgery and was unable to eat and drink at the same time. This seemed to finally satisfy him and he left me alone. Probably didn't help that my partner was only drinking sparkling mineral water!

    Like DebF I also try and view the menu online if it is available so that I have an idea of what will suit me. Sometime my partner and I share 2 or 3 smaller plates so that I can have a taste of a few things :-)

    It certainly takes a little bit of organising in your head initially but it really does get easier the further out you are and when you are used to your new "normal".



  18. #11
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    Default Re: Social eating

    Thanks for all your posts on social eating. I'm having surgery next week and thought about this. We like to go out (just hubby and I) so it shouldn't be a problem. Most of my immediate family know also. But just in case, this is all good to know.



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  20. #12
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    Default Re: Social eating

    I don't know if you have those in the USA, but I love tapas restaurants, the "all you can eat" kinds.
    Per round you are served two very small amounts of food, with lots of time in between.
    I always take one small serving per round, instead of two.
    We all sit at the table for several hours, so time enough to eat comfortably.
    I love it!
    English is not my first language anymore, so I may and do make mistakes in my spelling, or say things oddly. Please ask me, if you want any clarifications.



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  22. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Social eating

    Quote Originally Posted by DebF View Post
    During my pre-op diet time frame we went to one of our local “Cheers-type” restaurants - my daughter and son-in-law were leary about putting me in a position to be meeting up with local friends and acquaintances and falling back into old habits but I was insistent that I COULD and needed to learn new ways around an old friend - the menu!

    It was surprisingly easier than I thought - I ordered the baked haddock (so did my son-in-law) and asked for no breadcrumb topping and light on any butter, broccoli and a side salad. It turned out to be the most delicious thick piece of flaky haddock and I shared it with everyone (even the kids) and it’s now a new menu favorite.

    On the “not so good” side of eating out — yesterday we had a family gathering for a one year old birthday party with a catered meal that included chicken/ziti Alfredo, seafood casserole, sirloin tips with gravy and gooey, cheesy pizza for the kids. I grabbed a plate of salad so it wasn’t so obvious that I wasn’t eating anything and poured a protein drink into a glass and no one even noticed a thing - they were all too busy filling their own plates. When I saw all the food I have to admit I experienced a bit of nostalgia but my stomach was definitely “turning” and telling me to stay away. It was actually easier than I thought it would be and having the protein drink with me was key. I turned to people-watching at that point and was wowed by all the overweight people filling plates that were piled sky high with enough food to feed an entire family. We love these folks and something inside me wanted to jump up and yell to stop what they’re doing to themselves, but . . . obviously can’t do that! Baby steps.

    One thing I do find that is somewhat problematic for me is my keen sense of SMELL - when I smell food cooking I find that tougher than actually looking at the food which turns me off. Anyone have this reaction to food smells or am I just a weird case?
    At 16 months, I enjoy the savory smells, but no longer really care about tasting it -- it's kind of become its own experience

    Someone told me "its not whats on your table that matters, its whose around it" !
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

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  24. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Default Re: Social eating

    Thanks, Annie! You just inspired me again and probably didn’t realize it. I love to do counted cross stitch embroidery pieces and just found the saying for my next piece, “ it’s not what’s on your table that matters . . .” Ha!!!



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