Small step towards getting a surgery date: but I enjoyed the interview

[Truss]

I've been impatient, according to the doctor that's a problem I need to be more aware of about myself.

I like to go wide open, I'm very task oriented, need a plan, don't like not knowing.

Yesterday during my psychological exam the doctor ask me questions that really made me think. I learned a lot about myself, I never dreamed I was going to actually enjoy this session.

Working in Law Enforcement I had preconceived ideas about sitting on a couch with a stranger questioning me. I wasnt sure what to expect. I'd been to (EAP) before because I had to go, but this I was choosing to do voluntarily.

Me and my wife go to the appointment, we meet the doctor, and her and my wife have this conversation about me. I was shocked to here the POSITIVE things my wife had to say. We all talked for about 15 minutes and she told my wife to leave ( go shopping) just take an hour or so just to herself. (I now know how a baby feels being left at daycare the first couple days.)

The doctor smiles at me and we start talking, very general information, but every once in a while she interjects a question I answer with a question. About 10 minutes into our talk, she stops, smiles, and says I'm trying to get a few answers, this isn't court (Relax). I said "Yeah relax?" I wanted to say "Look Lady, I'm as uncomfortable as hell, ask me what you need to know, and get this over with". But I smiled and said "I'm fine".

We continue and she says well let's talk about this surgery. She tells me she's had the gastric sleeve and lost over 100+ lbs. She ask me specific questions and tells me I will do GREAT. I'm all smiles and ready to leave. She then tells me what she sees, who she feels like she's talking to, and I swallow hard.

This woman had me pegged . I didn't know what to say or how to respond. She talked to me maybe 30 minutes and had got to know me and how I felt inside.

I then relaxed and started talking, said things I never dreamed I'd talk about. Scared to death, would be putting it mildly. I couldn't believe I just opened up to this total stranger.

She assured me I was normal, had seen and been a part of a lot of traumatic events, but she enjoyed talking to me. She said it would be 2 weeks before I got a report. But she seen no reason I wasn't a candidate for this surgery.

SCAREY PART.. When we went to leave she hugged my wife and I swear I heard her say "Darling, I'll be praying for you."

LOL....

She did ask me to PROMISE to come back and see her in a year. I said "OK, I will".

[Christie13]

That is awesome. The psych exam can be unnerving because we all fear it will somehow derail us. I didn't mind the interview part with the psychiatrist, I didn't like the weird written exam I had to take.

[Ann2]

That's so cool! I'm glad you had such a positive experience with the therapist.

FYI, I've been seeing a therapist (monthly) for almost five years (I was sleeved 4.5 years ago). That resource has been so very helpful to me. It's so great to have access to an outside perspective from a smart person who really *sees* you and challenges you to go beyond your old, reinforced reactions.

BTW, my husband was a cop, and I recognize that protective shell you folks wear in tough situations. I encourage you to take that hard shell off (like the nearly 30 pounds of equipment you're wearing in uniform) when you're not on the job. And yes, I understand that your hyper-awareness is hard to let go of ... but you can also turn that hyper-awareness back on yourself and consider some new ways to see things, to react to things, to interpret things.

Life after WLS includes a lot more and a lot better self-care than we've ever done before. In other words, it's now time to protect and serve yourself. And like your day job, those changes require a lot of training. And practice. And coaching.

I think you're going to do great, too.

[KiwiGal]

So glad that you had a positive experience. It all adds up to a recipe for success.

[Truss]

Thanks for the response,

I’m gonna need all the positives, but “Ann2” your response was almost scarey. You nailed exactly what the doctor said.

Time to come out of my “hard, protective,serving shell”.

Time to look in the mirror and ask myself, what am I going to do for me today. Sounds crazy??... but the doctor said I struggle with PTSD.

I hide my inner self really well !...Nobody sees the inside, I been married 32 years to the same woman, and had no clue how dependent I really was till last week. My wife sees 6’03 ... 350 lbs of “Sergeant “ one who leads by example. She knows my struggles with weight, but sees the older I get the more I struggle.

It’s time... Time to not be that “Guy” .. I have a friend who has had WLS, he said I’m gonna tell you where you going to struggle, “You not going to be that dude anymore”.. What ?... he said “ That dude that walks in and commands respect on a call”. “Your size alone, is intimidating”. “You got to realize you not going to be that DUDE anymore”. I never thought about it that way. But my wife, kids and doctor said “OH HES RIGHT”.

I wanna be normal it’s hard being “THAT DUDE”. Never been told that in over30 years of work.

That dude is now “Old, Smarter, and finally able to see the trees in the forest.” Time to change.