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Thread: Unreality check

  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
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    Unhappy Unreality check

    I've journalled to the point that I feel, like Queen Victoria, I should stop dotting my eyes to save ink.

    I am struggling with feeling "fat". I can see, literally that its not a fact. I weigh consistently between 124-126.
    I didn't "feel" fat when I was 90 lbs overweight.

    Any thoughts on what sort of thinking is going on? I've always lived more in my head than in my body whether heavy or skinny having had years of both. Now at "normal" maybe I'm confused???
    HW: 240 lbs CW: 205 lbs: SW: 199 lbs GW: 130 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0
    2 MO = 156.4
    3 MO = 148.4
    4 MO = 140.6
    5 MO = 136.0
    6 MO = 130.0 (GOAL)
    1 YR = 122.0
    Inches: 50.5 lost


    “What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.”

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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member sraebaer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    I think it's common, it took me years to finally stop asking my husband if I looked like a normal person.



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  5. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member KiwiGal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    I am still really surprised when I pass a mirror or shop window and see the reflection of myself. I still have to look as think "really is that really me?".
    I felt the same way as you - I never felt fat. I knew I was, and I knew I had to so something about, it but I was always just me! I guess I'm still me - just in a smaller healthier package. :-)
    Perhaps as Sharon said time will change this way of thinking.



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  7. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    I can tell you I get it. I love the way I look. But occasionally I see people who are skinnier than me (usually they are too skinny-unhealthy skinny) and I suddenly think I'm too fat and I need to lose a few more pounds. I have to slap those thoughts right out of my head as I know I am by no means fat. My friend bought me some nice size XS workout leggings for my birthday. I looked at them and thought, "No way I can fit these. They're way too tiny." They fit perfectly. When I told her I was worried they might be too small she laughed and said, "I had no doubt they would fit you. You're tiny." I think it is really easy to forget how much we have changed and easy to listen to the negative voice in our heads. I always go by how my jeans fit. As long as my jeans fit I know I am doing just fine. I work on loving myself every day.



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  9. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member MsLisa71's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    I'm newer to the process but still dealing with how I see myself. Positive self-talk is helpful. Instead of referring to myself as fat, with all the positive changes I've made I choose to see myself as fit instead. There are certainly days that are harder than others but THIS is my new reality. Time to let it sink in and believe it and own it. It's truly a struggle since I've been overweight all my life. But the times they are a changing!!!

    I would call it "Stinking thinking" and do not own that, you have come so far, invested so much into your life and health. Own that instead!


    HW 2016=310
    SW 5/7/18= 274

    4 weeks = 241.6
    8 weeks = 225.0
    12 weeks = 214.8
    16 weeks = 205.6
    20 weeks = 198.6
    24 weeks = 193.2

    6 Mos check-up w/Surgeon: 11/13/2018 = 189
    28 weeks = 187
    32 weeks =

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  12. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member DutchSleeve's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    I know I still have my "fat brain".
    Sometimes it still talks to me.
    It is hard to ignore it, but I have to, because I know it is messing with my head.
    But yes, I still struggle from time to time.
    English is not my first language, so I may and do make mistakes in my spelling, or say things oddly. Please ask me, if you want any clarifications.



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  14. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member Stacey03's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    It's a weird one isn't it Annie?! I sometimes feel bigger too but now I fit into XS as well like Christie. What I do is to decide to give those thoughts no attention , easier said than done sometimes but most of the time I just have a word with myself. Acceptance is good too, this is just me, sometimes my brain plays tricks on me etc. You will know all about mindfulness and acceptance Annie, maybe that will help xxx


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  16. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Sandra3's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    Most morbidly obese like I was will suffer body dis-morphia after weight loss surgery.
    I went from a size 3 or 4XL (26/28) to 14/16 petite and I did reach my surgeon's prediction. I do wish to lose more but with my many issues (slow metabolism, medication making me gain weight) it will take a longer time.

    Went I was already back in "normal sizes" I did feel bad about my body image, and felt sometimes as big as "before".

    Was weird! My husband kept on telling me to stop wearing those big "tents" (shirts too big to hide) but I had a hard time adjusting.... It got better with time, but what I found really really helpful was to have massages. I did help a lot with water retention, but also helped a lot with getting to know the limits of that almost a new body. Working out did feel good too. Reaching new limits was a sign that things changed for good. But those massages did the trick for me.


    HW : 150 kgs
    09/02/2014 : 142 /1st apt
    01/20/2016 : 134 /surgery
    01/30/2016 : 130 /1st post-op
    02/27/2016 : 126 /2nd
    04/23/2016 : 118 /3rd
    07/16/2016 : 109 / 4th
    10/01/2016 : 103 /5th
    01/21/2017 : 98 /1 year post-op
    February 2017 : 100 lbs lost
    07/22/2017 : 96
    10/21/2017 : 93
    12/22/2017 : 91
    01/02/2018 : 96!! regain (medication)

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  18. #9
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    HI Annie, It is normal to have those feelings. I have had those feelings all my life, when I had anorexia i kept thinking i was fat, when I eventually became obese I thought I was much bigger than I was and now I still have fat days and see it in the mirror but I know I am slightly overweight now ( BMI is almost at normal weight)however i must see myself differently to what others see, as all of a sudden people are saying to me you are so skinny how did you do it. Hopefully we will all be able to see ourselves how we really look and be happy with ourselves. I am certainly on the way to liking myself for the first time ever. Keep going you look great. x



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  20. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member sraebaer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    I still have some weird habits, like I always sit on the aisle at events such as church, the symphony, a meeting, a movie or whatever. Goes back to when I was fat and didn't want to spill over on a stranger. If a chair could be moved I would even pull it away from the one next to me. Maybe somethings stay with you for life. But it doesn't really matter, because now I'm just a regular sized person sitting in the aisle seat!



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  22. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    Thank you one and all for the candid, thoughtful responses, all of which make sense.
    At 66 I struggle with "old dialogue" from my mum. Most of my life (13-26) I weighed about 113, but she insisted I was grossly obese and it embarassed her. (Way more to the story than that, but nuff said). 26-38 while I was having my children, enormous health and about 125. Until I went back to work when the youngest of 6 children was 5, I ran a whole food co-op out of our home, grew vegetables and ground wheat to make our bread....obviously a food addiction issue.

    With the onset of health issues as I got older, and multiple types of chemo for several types of cancers, I gained weight. Lots of weight. And so the dire prediction was finally true!

    I believe your clarity and commonality have re-assured me that it is normal, it is in my head not true in the world, and it can be retaught.

    Y'all are the best, you know!
    HW: 240 lbs CW: 205 lbs: SW: 199 lbs GW: 130 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0
    2 MO = 156.4
    3 MO = 148.4
    4 MO = 140.6
    5 MO = 136.0
    6 MO = 130.0 (GOAL)
    1 YR = 122.0
    Inches: 50.5 lost


    “What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.”


  23. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member DutchSleeve's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    I saw a you tube video, just last week about this problem.
    A beautiful young woman, who has lost a lot of weight with the sleeve, had an anxiety attack in a public place, because she was convinced that she was still obese.
    I was really touched by that, because she now is a regular sized person and by no means overweight.
    You may want to check it out: Watch Kitty Shrink on you tube, she has her own channel.

    It really is a mindf*ck...
    Maybe after a couple of years... hopefully...
    English is not my first language, so I may and do make mistakes in my spelling, or say things oddly. Please ask me, if you want any clarifications.



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  25. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    I know that hurt people hurt people, but right now I am definitely pissed at your mama.

    Still, as I know you know, we each have to find our own way to send our devils packing. Whatever our parents and others "gifted" us with, It's now solely up to us to exorcise those words and actions and climb higher.

    Keep climbing, Annie!

    <3



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

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  27. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member Rexcom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    Living too much in one's head can make for some overthinking and fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) :-)
    An occasional grounding meditation can be helpful.....there are many on YouTube. Here's one you might find helpful....find a comfortable chair and give a listen.


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  29. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Unreality check

    Quote Originally Posted by Ann2 View Post
    I know that hurt people hurt people, but right now I am definitely pissed at your mama.

    Still, as I know you know, we each have to find our own way to send our devils packing. Whatever our parents and others "gifted" us with, It's now solely up to us to exorcise those words and actions and climb higher.

    Keep climbing, Annie!

    <3
    Oh Ann, thank you! I was greatly liberated when I dear, compassionate, kind friend noted my mom was b***! And many family members have mentioned how terribly unloving she was. That said, she did the best she could - she was a self-medicating bipolar mess going through menopause when I was born, and I was definitely not wanted. Clearly stated. Often.

    This year, in learning self-compassion (working on it) I've been able to bury her and most of what she said. Life's a funny old girl - continual process of evolving and growth, if we are fortunate.

    You are a wonderful part of that evolution (revolution?)
    HW: 240 lbs CW: 205 lbs: SW: 199 lbs GW: 130 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0
    2 MO = 156.4
    3 MO = 148.4
    4 MO = 140.6
    5 MO = 136.0
    6 MO = 130.0 (GOAL)
    1 YR = 122.0
    Inches: 50.5 lost


    “What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.”

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