I had this prior to getting surgery. I was doing a medically monitored weight loss program and I was doing great. I lost 90lbs, felt wonderful, was active, happy, and way thinner. Then it hit me, depression lurking in the background. I gained all of my weight back, plus some. I felt horrible, tired all the time, no motivation, I hated myself. I literally could have died the next day and gave a sh*t less.
I was "honest" with my doctor in that I didn't tell him exactly how I was feeling, but he saw I was gaining, and gaining, and.... gaining. He referred me to a counselor. I didn't go for months, because I was like, I don't need this, but I always felt like I was in a deep, dark hole and that I couldn't get out of it. I'm a pretty bright, sunshiny person in all outward appearances, but inside I struggle like nobody's business.
I finally decided to go. The therapy, honestly, didn't help much. I still felt the way I felt and the therapist of course did the normal therapist thing and tried to work through it with me. She was phenomenal, especially to deal with my rather dim outlook - but truth be told, the therapy did not help me at all. I already had someone to talk to, it wasn't helping. Although she gave slightly different advice, it all ended in pretty much the same thing as what my husband would say "Confront your feelings and you'll feel better. Hit them head on, remember you're a great person and beautiful inside and out." Yeah.. oooookaay! (That was my inner self).
I was actually put on medication for major depression (I was told if the therapist would have diagnosed it any higher, I would have had to be put in the hospital for a few days). So she suggested I meet and discuss medication options with a psychiatrist. I'm not one to take medication really, I barely even take Tylenol or aspirin. But I decided something had to change. I was put on Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and Lamictal. At first, it felt like nothing was changing, but after a few months - I cannot explain to you what happened but it was like a dark cloud was lifted from me. It took probably 4-6 months for things to become really clear for me and to come out, but it helped. I stayed on that regimen for another year and a half and it worked.
Before this, I would have never referred someone to consider medication, but your story is so close to mine. When I read your post, I could literally feel those same feelings I felt years ago. Definitely seek out a therapist, talk it out. If you feel that is not working, try the medication. I will warn you, the side effects are annoying. I would sweat profusely and I was a little lethargic at times, but overall they made a difference.
Everyone is different. Everyone struggles in one way or another. Don't feel like less just because you are going through a rough patch. You are you. You are no one else. You go through things how YOU go through them. But do know that there are people, even complete strangers like myself, who care about you. But at the end of the day, the only person who can make a change is you. You will when you're ready.
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