Family Problems

**SapphireLevaou** · 07-24-2018 04:11 PM

So I spoke with my mom today to confront her about how she makes me feel when she makes certain remarks about me getting surgery and the size that I am now. So I told her that the times that she's made comments like after my brazilian butt lift and breast aug for bigger boobs she said " brianna please dont go back to the size you were you look so good at this size" and that made me feel like she didnt like me the way I was and then today she said " brianna i like the size you are now but the size you were after that other surgery you were such a perfect size" and im like really??!!! how can you say that!! So we finally got on a phone call and she said something sweet which was that she didnt care if i was the size of my best friend jessica or the size of a barn she would love me regardless because i'm her child so that made me feel better. But due to how it made me feel for the past few weeks made me feel like not having her to come with me when I go to Dr.Almanza in TJ. Im still debating whether or not to take her and my dad with me and my husband down there for when i have my gastric sleeve but I'm concerned for my moms doubtfulness or negativity. I know thats not good to have when trying to recover and to stay disciplined with the post op care and lifestyle changes.

**Christie13** · 07-25-2018 08:51 PM

Only you can make that decision, but here is my two cents. I think surgery can be stressful enough on it's own without someone bringing their negativity. Your husband is supportive and that, in my opinion, is what you will want/need. That is why I chose to only tell a few close friends and immediate family about my surgery. I wanted to ensure I had supportive people. If any of them would have been negative, I would have cut them out of my life. Not suggesting you cut your mom out of your life, so don't take that wrong. Just saying that you want to surround yourself with positivity. Hang in there.

**SapphireLevaou** · 07-27-2018 07:52 AM

True and I am totally grateful that I have a supportive husband I know that some people don't have anyone. My husband is high functioning mildly autistic and he's really sweet I'm just concerned for in a way leaving him to make certain judgement calls during the surgery in my previous one I think because I was under for so long that my mild asthma flared because they said i had stopped breathing on the table but I dont know how far along into the surgery that it happened and while I was out I never noticed so ya kinda scary but I feel like since I'll be under for a shorter time then I may not have the same issue.

**SapphireLevaou** · 07-27-2018 07:56 AM

Originally Posted by Christie13

Only you can make that decision, but here is my two cents. I think surgery can be stressful enough on it's own without someone bringing their negativity. Your husband is supportive and that, in my opinion, is what you will want/need. That is why I chose to only tell a few close friends and immediate family about my surgery. I wanted to ensure I had supportive people. If any of them would have been negative, I would have cut them out of my life. Not suggesting you cut your mom out of your life, so don't take that wrong. Just saying that you want to surround yourself with positivity. Hang in there.

hey i meant to quote you so that you'd know it was me

**CamCat** · 07-27-2018 11:58 AM

What was your mom's reaction when you told her how you feel?

**Stacey03** · 07-27-2018 09:32 PM

I think just take your husband, mums can be tricky! Good luck :-)

**SapphireLevaou** · 07-29-2018 09:48 PM

Originally Posted by CamCat

What was your mom's reaction when you told her how you feel?

So we finally got on a phone call and she said something sweet which was that she didnt care if i was the size of my best friend jessica or the size of a barn she would love me regardless because i'm her child so that made me feel better.

**SapphireLevaou** · 07-29-2018 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by Stacey03

I think just take your husband, mums can be tricky! Good luck :-)

true and now my best friend jessica will be joining me and she changed her mind about getting the bypass so now she's going to get the sleeve like me when I told her post op we'd be eating 4-6oz of food so it kind of scared her that she'd be eating less with the byass.

**Stacey03** · 07-30-2018 12:29 AM

Originally Posted by SapphireLevaou

true and now my best friend jessica will be joining me and she changed her mind about getting the bypass so now she's going to get the sleeve like me when I told her post op we'd be eating 4-6oz of food so it kind of scared her that she'd be eating less with the byass.

Thats good, you can support each other :-)