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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member SapphireLevaou's Avatar
    Surgery date
    07/24/2019
    Surgeon
    Dr. Almanza
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Last Activity
    08-25-2018 09:57 PM
    Posts
    49
    Said "Thanks" 21 Times
    Was Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 14 Times
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Best Friend Issues

    So i recently had a argument or in a way had hurt my best friends feelings. So I have been educating her about the gastric sleeve and bypass from what I've found online and from this website based off of others who have had the gastric sleeve like what I'll be getting next summer and the gastric bypass that she wants next summer too. So the other day I spoke with her and asked her if she had any worried and she said no because i had covered everything but she wanted to get it finance and I told her that from the current job she is about to start that she can just pay out of pocket because we both know that she hasnt tried to build her credit and she doesnt keep a job long, so i let her know that she needed to build her credit before she goes to get financing but in the event that she can't get approved then she's better off paying out of pocket we both will be using Dr.almanza; Well yesterday my boss told me that he wanted her to come in for a group interview since they were hiring again well I'd asked her if she was clean (from weed) and she said no so I was upset because I had told her that I had submitted her resume the day before so then I asked her when was the last time she smoked and she said Sunday night so then I said "omg really girl? you must not wanna work. I', trying to help give you a leg up so that you can afford your surgery but then you go and self-sabotage yourself!" so then she blocked my phone number for a couple hours but by the time I got off from work she had unblocked me. I had also msg her and said i personally want whats best for you and I dont want my best friend to die from procrastinating or being lazy and committing self-sabotage when i came back from my surgery 3yrs ago and you told me you were having chest pains I was highly scared and concerned for what it could mean and that was before I was in the medical assisting program and then to know that you have 2 horrible conditions that can cause you to pass away in your sleep makes me even more scared. I'm sorry if i insulted you or hurt you but I will not apologize for why I did it. So at this point I'm not sure what to talk to her about I do want to clear the air with her but I'm not sure if I can continue to confide in her in regards to the surgery next year. I want her to have a better happy healthy life but I also know theres only so much you can do for people and the rest they have to be willing to do for themselves. I already told her how long It would take her to get approved through her insurance they want her to do diet and exercise for 6mths at 2yrs before her surgery date and I have seen some people on here go through the same thing only to be denied and then they have to pay out of pocket for it anyway. Was i wrong to come at her like that?



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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christie
    Surgery date
    11/03/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Wright
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Last Activity
    09-12-2019 04:13 PM
    Posts
    5,169
    Said "Thanks" 978 Times
    Was Thanked 2,940 Times in 2,192 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 1,465 Times
    Blog Entries
    97

    Default Re: Best Friend Issues

    So the thing is that you can't help someone who won't help themselves. You want what is best for her but ultimately she will do what she wants. The hardest thing to do is to put yourself on the line for someone else. You put your name on her as a stamp of approval with your job. If she doesn't measure up, it looks bad on you. I don't blame you for being upset.



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  5. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member SapphireLevaou's Avatar
    Surgery date
    07/24/2019
    Surgeon
    Dr. Almanza
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Last Activity
    08-25-2018 09:57 PM
    Posts
    49
    Said "Thanks" 21 Times
    Was Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 14 Times
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: Best Friend Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by Christie13 View Post
    So the thing is that you can't help someone who won't help themselves. You want what is best for her but ultimately she will do what she wants. The hardest thing to do is to put yourself on the line for someone else. You put your name on her as a stamp of approval with your job. If she doesn't measure up, it looks bad on you. I don't blame you for being upset.
    ok thanks for that cause i thought I was in the wrong in some way and eventually she did unblock me and we started talking a little but she did say she was interested in working where I work so thats a start and I hope that she will allow me to guide her because I've been through more of life than she has like I drive and have a drivers license but she doesnt take initiative to learn to drive and to conquer her fears of driving on the highway and then she's stayed at home doing community college as her and all her sisters and brothers have too so she hasnt really gotten so see what life is like as an independent person who has larger responsibilities like groceries, rent, car maintenance etc. So from what i've had to go through I try to tell her or educate her about how some things can go as I learn and as I have had a lesson in them.



  6. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Last Activity
    09-14-2021 08:29 AM
    Posts
    142
    Said "Thanks" 7 Times
    Was Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times

    Default Re: Best Friend Issues

    You're a true friend indeed.
    You're hurt because of your sincerity to help her... talk to her about why she seems not wanting to help herself... be patient with her to find hope again!

  7. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    07/30/2018
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Last Activity
    11-30-2018 05:34 PM
    Posts
    31
    Said "Thanks" 0 Times
    Was Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 3 Times

    Default Re: Best Friend Issues

    You've done the best you can to be a friend but some people are never happy. She will grow up when she's ready.



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