Hi there,
I'm not sure what to say/omit here.
Like most here, I've always struggled with my weight/guilt/shame - the cycle is endless. I've been as low as 180, all muscle and as high as 275 (current). I'm a very emotional eater and know all of the ways to both gain and lose weight. I've done it countless times. Heart health has always been an issue in my family, with people having heart attacks in their 30s (my age), all weighing significantly less than I do. I've done weight watchers, medifast, exercised, not exercised, paleo, etc. Every time, I lose the weight, AND QUICKLY! I've always lost weight quickly and gained lean muscle like a freak, but I also can get fat in a hurry. It wasn't until meeting with my doctor and nurse, that I was told that this is largely genetic, since many people struggle to lose/gain or really move the needle on their weight. I'm just an expert at it I've always hidden it well because I am a large man. I'm only 6 ft. but everything about me is big. - hands, ribcage lol, you name it. I'm just built that way. I guess you could say it is part of my personality. I wear flannels, have a scratchy face and I'm bald and big - I sort of own it - meanwhile I feel grossly overweight, can't catch my breath and have chest pains. So here I am, cleared for surgery.
I'm worried about the work time I'll miss. I'm a psychotherapist and hate the idea of missing my private practice (purely for $elfish reasons).
My biggest fear is that I've found a way EVERY TIME to gain all my weight back.
My other issue is that I've been awful at the pre surgery diet. I don't mean the immediate pre surgery/liquid diet, but the 3 months of meeting with a dietician to reprogram everything. I just can't get into it because I've done it differently for 35 years and don't feel like a sudden change will stick any more than it has before (not drinking while eating, weighing all my food etc.). I just cannot get into it. I've been losing about 2 pounds a month moderately engaging in it, but I haven't adapted the whole regiment because, let's face it, I still have my entire stomach!
Did anyone else struggle with all of the routines before surgery? Again, I don't mean the few weeks before - I can follow rules well and don't worry about liquid diets etc. But did anyone else feel like crap because they can't magically make their eating habits healthy or they have done it so many times that they don't have the fire to do it before surgery?
Anyway, that's me.
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