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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member tebbybear's Avatar
    I have not had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgeon
    Dr. Hamouda
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Last Activity
    07-07-2018 06:49 PM
    Location
    welling
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    9
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    Unhappy Scared to fail..

    I still have 40 days before surgery but at the moment, anyone that I talk to about it keeps putting the pressure on me. Basically my family, understandably they are paying for my surgery and its a lot of money to spend and its a life changing experience, but when they tell me day in day out, IF YOU SCREW THIS UP THATS IT! It just makes it ever so slightly daunting.. I've heard stories of people who put the weight back on but I want to try my best to prevent that, cause even though yes it would be letting myself down, I know it would also kill my family too..


    Any advice?

    Em x
    31st July

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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    6,630
    Said "Thanks" 5,839 Times
    Was Thanked 5,052 Times in 2,720 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 3,616 Times
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    Em, welcome.

    Do you have a specific question or questions you'd like to ask about what life is like after being sleeved?

    Also, how old are you? I noticed on another person's thread that you asked about whether VSG patients could drink alcohol, because you like to go clubbing.

    I'll offer a real spoiler here: The sleeve by itself isn't going to fix your weight problems. It's not magic. Yes, it will probably help you lose a lot of weight. But if you don't REALLY change your daily lifestyle, you'll regain a lot or possibly even all your lost weight back in the next few years. It happens.

    Any chance you're seeing a therapist yet to help you make the lifestyle transitions you need to make to learn how to live healthier for the rest of your life?

    I hope this isn't a wet blanket for you. I'm just trying to keep it real.



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post


  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member Aydensmomma's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Teri
    Surgery date
    12/30/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Shady Macaron
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Last Activity
    06-11-2022 11:06 AM
    Location
    CT USA
    Posts
    455
    Said "Thanks" 3 Times
    Was Thanked 314 Times in 206 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 1,510 Times
    Blog Entries
    75

    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    I think sometimes our family and friends just don't get it unless ofcoarse they have been overweight and dealing with failing diets and all that. I am 3 years out and when I started to gain I immediately caught myself and starting tracking calories again and in a month or so I got back down. If you start to gain you have to own it and do something about it. You are getting sleeved.....no diet, new lifestyle, big changes in food and a huge change in what you can eat, what you'll want to eat and the amount you'll eat. The sleeve will remove the hunger hormone (Ghrelin is the hunger hormone made by your stomach; it travels to your brain and impacts your desire to eat.) you will most likely not feel hungry after your sleeves. I still don't get hungry unless it's been a long time since I ate. (if you feel like your hungry shortly after surgery, or your stomach is growling, it's most likely gas/indigestion, I had that)
    ok I got off track here.....anyways, if you can, sit down with your family, explain how much research you have done on the sleeve and how this isn't just another diet, it's a tool to help you succeed. Tell them you appreciate they're financial support, but that you need some positive emotional support as well. ask them to be your cheerleaders, to support the changes you will be going through. If you don't say something they aren't going to change. Let them know your serious about this, having surgery isn't something we do to take the easy way out, it's a huge decision and a commitment.
    I hope you get the support you need, you'll always have it here ;-)
    sleeved 12/30/14 @255lbs Goal 140lbs
    3/3/15- 208lbs 6/14/15- 163lbs
    lost 92lbs in 1st 6mo
    9/10/15- 139 1/5/2016 - 128lbs
    lost 128lbs in 1 year
    4/4/16 - 123lbs 7/4/16 - 129lbs 12/3/16- 130
    still 128lb loss@2 year mark-11lbs below goal
    gained 13lbs by 3 year mark weighing 142lbs
    Gained up to 158 by 3 years 3 months!
    3.5 years back to 142
    hoping to stay between 140lbs-145lbs
    4 years hanging in between 145 and 150
    5 year mark! ugh! Up to 160! Time to get back track!

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  6. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christie
    Surgery date
    11/03/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Wright
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Last Activity
    09-12-2019 04:13 PM
    Posts
    5,169
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    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    Lots of people are successful at maintaining their weight loss. You do have to make changes. Can you drink? Sure. I do. And a little too much some times but it doesn't derail me. I am accountable for all that I put in my mouth. I work out EVERY DAY!!! I eat very healthy 85-90% of the time. When I do indulge...I make sure to account for the extra calories by additional running or walking. Or by cutting back the next day or two. I weigh regularly. If I see my weight start to go up I jump into action. I have the 5 lb rule. If I gain 5 lbs then I spring into action to get back to 108. As long as you have a good plan and make good choices you can maintain your weight loss. Don't let the negative voices and naysayers deter you.



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  8. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member The North Sleeve's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Mike
    Surgery date
    04/20/2018
    Surgeon
    Dr. Luthra
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Last Activity
    01-23-2019 05:22 PM
    Location
    Minneapolis, MN
    Posts
    133
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 266 Times
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    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    The most important thing about this entire process is, you have to want it for yourself and you have to be positive about making changes. It's not fun making changes especially when you have bad eating habits. The outcome is worth it. I am new to Uncle Sleeve myself, just two months post op. I have lost about 63 lbs and my life has changed drastically. I am extremely happy with my progress but mostly with myself because it wasn't an easy thing to do but I stuck with it and it is paying off.

    Keep your head in the game and keep telling yourself you need to make changes. It is normal to have bad thoughts as well just try and stay with the positive thoughts. Best of luck to you and i'm sure if you run into some problems many on this site would be glad to help you.
    The North Sleeve (youtube channel) Come view my journey

    Click Here >>>>>> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA9...J4yMqFXxkl6WzA

    VSG Surgery April 20, 2018
    Height 6'2
    High Weight 354 lbs
    Surgery Weight 333 lbs


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  11. #6
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    Failing or succeeding is totally up to you. The sleeve is an AMAZING tool and the only thing that helped me lose all my weight (very quickly!) and keep it off for 4 years now. Yes, I changed my lifestyle. I eat how I should. I exercise a lot. If you are committed to doing this, you will also lose all your weight and keep it off. If not, yes, it would be very easy to regain.

    I too paid $14,000 for the surgery. But it's not even about the money anymore, it's about how amazing it feels to be healthy, regular sized, and doing everything I love.

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  13. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Annie
    Surgery date
    10/05/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ryan Heider
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    11-29-2020 11:18 AM
    Location
    NC
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    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    I'm only 10 months out -- that said, I was self-pay (and retired so it was a huge investment). I do NOT feel pressure not to fail. I made up my mind that this tool, this remarkable, workable (NOTE: WORKABLE) tool, could change my life for the best it could be.

    And it has. I met goal early, I feel great; my health improvements are over the moon and for the first time in 15 years, I have life in my days.

    BUT I am accountable for every decision I make about my eating and exercise. Have I had a drink? Yes, 1/2 glass of wine. But empty calories and the sugar was not a good decision. I assume beer is considered a carbonated beverage, but don't like it any way except for draft Guinness.

    I try to make the healthiest choice I can, not so I don't fail, but so I can enjoy my life.

    It is a lot of mindful changes, and Ann2's suggestion about counseling is awesome. I journal (always have). Be sure YOU are ready to do it now, and that you want it badly enough to really work. And not trying to wet blanket either.
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

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  15. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member tebbybear's Avatar
    I have not had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgeon
    Dr. Hamouda
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Last Activity
    07-07-2018 06:49 PM
    Location
    welling
    Posts
    9
    Said "Thanks" 8 Times
    Was Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    Hey Ann

    I guess my question is; how do you get past the pressure of your friends and family getting involved? All eyes are on you as it were. Thanks for keeping it real, I understand that its not an easy fix and yes my lifestyle will be changing 1000000%.
    31st July

  16. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member tebbybear's Avatar
    I have not had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgeon
    Dr. Hamouda
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Last Activity
    07-07-2018 06:49 PM
    Location
    welling
    Posts
    9
    Said "Thanks" 8 Times
    Was Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times

    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    [QUOTE=Aydensmomma;597232 if you can, sit down with your family, explain how much research you have done on the sleeve and how this isn't just another diet, it's a tool to help you succeed. Tell them you appreciate they're financial support, but that you need some positive emotional support as well. ask them to be your cheerleaders, to support the changes you will be going through. If you don't say something they aren't going to change. Let them know your serious about this, having surgery isn't something we do to take the easy way out, it's a huge decision and a commitment.
    I hope you get the support you need, you'll always have it here ;-)[/QUOTE]

    Aww thank you! and yeah I have had a lot of talks with my family but as you say, they could never understand my eating disorder in the first place and it wasn't until recently that they even realised of how bad my mental state was despite telling them for years and years..
    31st July

  17. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    6,630
    Said "Thanks" 5,839 Times
    Was Thanked 5,052 Times in 2,720 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 3,616 Times
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: Scared to fail..

    Quote Originally Posted by tebbybear View Post
    Hey Ann

    I guess my question is; how do you get past the pressure of your friends and family getting involved? All eyes are on you as it were. Thanks for keeping it real, I understand that its not an easy fix and yes my lifestyle will be changing 1000000%.
    Obviously, I don't know your family -- or the relationship of trust that you and your family have built over the years. I don't know how "pushy" or even how obnoxious or even how hateful one or some or all of them are. Maybe they're not that way at all. I also don't know how helpful or flexible their communication styles are. And all those things come into play when having a serious conversation.

    But disregarding all that, it might (???) be helpful for you to sit down someplace private and write out what you would really like to say to each of them about what you think would be most useful to you as you embark on this very important journey and what be not only unhelpful to you, but that you think has a big chance of making the journey even harder for you than it would otherwise be.

    You probably know that "you" statements like one ("You make me nuts when you x y z") are NOT the best way to offer feedback to those we're closest to and have "history" with; that just feels like an attack to the other person.

    Instead, the feedback language that people generally respond better to sounds more like this: "I feel weaker and lose confidence in myself when from you remind me of my past failures. Therefore, I think that you could help me feel stronger and more confident as I approach weight loss surgery would be if you simply encourage me with statements like: "I know this must be a scary thing to do, but I'm so proud of you for choosing to do this."

    And maybe: "I don't even know right now everything I'll need after I've had surgery. So every once in a while it might help me to have you simply ask me, "How can I support you right now?"

    And here's a message that might be hard to deliver, but it may be important for you to also say something like this: "I appreciate so much all the support you've shown me so far. But I also hope that you understand no one but me can make me successful at this. Therefore, I have to be the one in charge of my progress. I need to be the one who's watching what I eat. I can't let you do that. I need to be the one who's weighing myself, not you. Also, I've been told that my weight loss will not be in a straight line -- it will fluctuate from time to time. My surgeon has explained this is a long process, not an overnight one, and will take many, many months, maybe longer than a year to reach my goal. As I learn more about this, I'll explain it to you -- if you want to understand what I'm learning."

    BTW, it took me 18 months to lose 100 pounds. The speed with which you lose weight is absolutely irrelevant. The whole point of this is to lose your excess weight, learning along the way how to eat well and exercise and live differently. And to then continue to do that for the rest of your life.



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post

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