Gaining quickly!

[Mbenson5]

Melissa, I've been thinking about your situation a bit, because of my own situation over 20 years ago.

After my dear husband and I met and were married over 20 years ago, after the first year of you-know-whatting-many-times-a-day, we also started fluffing out a bit. And kept fluffing out. We were happy. Contented. In love. Safe. And we wanted to spoil each other.

As much as we continued to love and treat each other, it's obvious looking back that we didn't do our respective bodies any health favors in the comfy, lovey-dovey lifestyle we built together. Eventually, he wound up 40 pounds heavier and I wound up 50 pounds heavier. And neither of us had been exactly skinny to begin with.

I'm just saying that the longer this "less active" way of living continues, the more engrained it likely will become for you both.

Let me say very clearly, however, that I have no idea what changes would be appropriate for YOU and for you BOTH, or if the "both" part applies to your situation. But you will be able to figure that out.

BTW, yours is not an uncommon situation. What would be uncommon, however, is that you could nip these 20 pounds in the bud and lose them rather than gaining another 20 pounds in the coming few years. I don't think that would make you very happy, given what you have accomplished since you were sleeved.

You-know-whatting! Haha! I did better the past 2 days. I am off until Monday, so will be busy snd be able to do my workout as I like. We are going to the zoo with the grandkids tomorrow so will have lots of walking. My husband, btw, is gorgeous (to me at least! lol!) and very active-umpires and plays softball, but he is conscientious about his diet. He has never had a weight issue, but is super supportive. He never says a word about if he noticed I have gained. But the thing is I want him to be proud of what I look like, not embarrassed. That is good motivation.

[nicat23]

Exercise really isn't for losing weight though, yes it burns calories but it's more about building that lean muscle than anything which improves your metabolism, congrats on your new marriage that is so amazing! And don't get discouraged like my 3yo daughter tells me "you've got this!" And you do, keep up the hard work. As for the sedentary job I know how you feel (I work in IT so at my desk quite a lot) one thing that helped me was having my work install a sit stand desk so I'm not just sitting all the time, and its helped a lot

[jessiejess]

You are writing my story. I am in exactly the same boat with the wine. It helps me wind down. But guess what? It caused me to regain 60lbs. 60!! At first I couldn't figure out what the hell was making me gain weight. Then my mom told me how many calories were in the two bottles of wine I was drinking a night. It started as a glass or two and over a year escalated to 2 bottles. There were more calories in those bottles of wine than I was supposed to consume in an entire day of food. So, I was basically consuming 3200 calories a day. I drank around my sleeve to the point where I felt like I was in a hole I can never get out of. I still feel that way and I still want wine. I can't find any other way to relax. We bought an elliptcal which I used to LOVE using but since the wine, all I do when I get home is sit on my ass with the elliptical sitting right in front of me. My job is sedentary. I never go to the gym anymore and used to work out every day. I just feel like a blob. But I still want that damn wine. I stopped drinking it for months and stopped gaining but I've recently started drinking a little here and there again and have to stop. It's self sabotage. You know what the problem is now so STOP. You have it in you to stop. Instead of drinking wine, take a nice hot bath or do some stretching. I'm planning to take my own advice. Instead of having wine, I go put on my bathing suit and lay in the sun or float around in my pool until the sun goes down. I'm trying to build up the motivation to get back on my elliptical but it's so hard. When I lost weight before, I got on the exercise trip because it was a testament to how fit I'd become after having lost so much weight. Now I need to get on it because I'm desperate to lose weight. Those are two very different reasons. Who wants to do something out of desperation and fear of failure vs doing something because you finally can? But this too is something I've got to get over.
Just don't be like me. Stop it now before you have 60lbs to lose. This is the worst feeling because I know I did it to myself. And it's even worse because I am so weak and don't have the willpower to completely stop. I find ways to work in the calories on days where I really feel like I need it. Truth: I never needed it before so I don't need it now. It's all mental. So again I say this - stop! You CAN do it. As a matter of fact, we can be in this together if you want. We can take this one day at a time together. I'll stop if you will. We can check in with eachother every day via PM and if we get weak we can reach out to each other to remind each other that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels - not even that glass of wine. It's just not worth it. Let me know if you're interested in being sober buddies. Chin up. You can take control of this. If I can with it being as out of control as it is with me then I know you can.
Take care.
Jessie

[mellowjoy]

This may sound crazy but the best way to unwind is to exercise. Come home put on some music dance like no one is watching, do some running in place, lift weights anything as long as you get some exercise in. And, just don't bring any wine home.

[KiwiGal]

Since my surgery I have been walking after work each day - and on the weekends. My partner comes along and it has become a habit for us both. It's our daily wind down. When we can't walk for whatever reason we really miss it. It is a great time for us to catch up with each other on how our days have been and it is so nice to get out in the fresh air after being in an air conditioned office all day. Even now it is Winter we just layer up, put on gloves and beanies and off we go. In Summer we explored a whole lot of walking tracks around our neighbourhood that we didn't even know existed.
So glad that you have a wonderful man in your life. Having a supportive partner makes all the difference :-)