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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member lefthanded nut's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgeon
    dr brian gluck
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Last Activity
    11-03-2018 04:57 PM
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    michigan
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    Default dealing with negativity!

    So has anyone else had this problem. People say you don't need surgery because you can lose weight easily or you aren't big enough
    to have surgery. I know that I can lose weight but it is very hard to keep it off. I Know they mean well but my mind is already made up.
    I am n ot rude but I am getting tired of hearing it!


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  4. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Dutchie's Avatar
    Name
    Simonne
    Surgery date
    01/03/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Pablo Enriquez Valens
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
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    07-05-2020 12:35 AM
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    Well, then just say exactly that.
    "I know you mean well, but my mind is made up."

    And when they are friends you can add "I would like your support. Do you think you can do that for me?"

    And when they are just people you don't even know that well , tell them to go and mind their own business.
    They don't even know what you already have done.
    Worked for me...
    English is not my first language anymore, so I may and do make mistakes in my spelling, or say things oddly. Please ask me, if you want any clarifications.



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  6. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Annie
    Surgery date
    10/05/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ryan Heider
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    11-29-2020 11:18 AM
    Location
    NC
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 271 Times
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    I was rather in the same position -- and the other side of that is I'm tired of hearing "you're disappearing" "you're getting too small".....
    I agree that you are in charge -- I've said, "I have a mirror. I've done my research. This is about my health journey and I appreciate your concern, and also your support..." THE END
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

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  8. #4
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    That's why most people keep their surgery a secret.

    It's your life, and you are the only one that can decide what's right for you. Seeing you've already told people, I guess you'll just have to say this is my decision and I'd appreciate your support. Or you could say your doctor recommended the surgery. Good luck!

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  10. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    It's so amusing to me that those who know little to nothing about a subject have such strong opinions on the subject.

    That is the hallmark of someone I do not wish to associate with.

    If they are open to education, show them where the knowledge is. But don't waste your time arguing with a fool.



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post


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  12. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Annie
    Surgery date
    10/05/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ryan Heider
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    11-29-2020 11:18 AM
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    1,572
    Said "Thanks" 3,565 Times
    Was Thanked 1,143 Times in 760 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 271 Times
    Blog Entries
    2

    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    Quote Originally Posted by sraebaer View Post
    That's why most people keep their surgery a secret.

    It's your life, and you are the only one that can decide what's right for you. Seeing you've already told people, I guess you'll just have to say this is my decision and I'd appreciate your support. Or you could say your doctor recommended the surgery. Good luck!
    Hey -- love your new photo! You are looking fabulously healthy! Hope you and your mum and all are settling in!
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

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  14. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Annie
    Surgery date
    10/05/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ryan Heider
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    11-29-2020 11:18 AM
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    1,572
    Said "Thanks" 3,565 Times
    Was Thanked 1,143 Times in 760 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 271 Times
    Blog Entries
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ann2 View Post
    It's so amusing to me that those who know little to nothing about a subject have such strong opinions on the subject.

    That is the hallmark of someone I do not wish to associate with.

    If they are open to education, show them where the knowledge is. But don't waste your time arguing with a fool.
    Oh Miss Ann, you always make life feel more do-able! Love you to the moon
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!

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  16. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Stacey03's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Edie
    Surgery date
    11/07/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr Phil lockie
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    04-27-2019 09:56 AM
    Location
    Australia
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    I'm so lucky in that I have not had one bit of negativity but I choose the people who I hang out with wisely! It must be tricky though but my answer would be to just not buy into the drama and say 'Don't you worry about me'. :-)


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  18. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    05/14/2018
    Surgeon
    Dr Fawole
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    I have a few friends who are "normal" weight and I have told one of them as she is the most loving and non judgemental person ever. I also have a friend who is very overweight who I absolutely know will judge me, so I am keeping quiet on that one!

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  20. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christie
    Surgery date
    11/03/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Wright
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Last Activity
    09-12-2019 04:13 PM
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    This is the exact reason I kept it to myself. I did not want to deal with that nonsense. Even now, when people who do know I had the surgery say I wasn't that big I show them a picture and they're like, "Wow. I never really saw you as that big."



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  22. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member AnnieG's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Annie
    Surgery date
    10/05/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ryan Heider
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    11-29-2020 11:18 AM
    Location
    NC
    Posts
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    Said "Thanks" 3,565 Times
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 271 Times
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    Quote Originally Posted by Christie13 View Post
    This is the exact reason I kept it to myself. I did not want to deal with that nonsense. Even now, when people who do know I had the surgery say I wasn't that big I show them a picture and they're like, "Wow. I never really saw you as that big."
    Apparently our incredible personalities rendered our size invisible.
    [I]HW: 240 lbs SW: 199 lbs GW: 140 lbs

    1 MO = 167.0 2 MO = 156.4 3 MO = 148.4 4 MO = 140.6
    5 M) = 136.0 6 MO = 130.0
    1 YR = 122.0 2 YR = 140.00 2.5 YR = 139
    Happy with my weight; happy with my size; over-the-moon with my health!


  23. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    6,630
    Said "Thanks" 5,839 Times
    Was Thanked 5,052 Times in 2,720 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 3,616 Times
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    Quote Originally Posted by annieg View Post
    apparently our incredible personalities rendered our size invisible.
    lol!



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post


  24. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member jessiejess's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Jessie
    Surgery date
    11/13/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Mehta
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Last Activity
    03-25-2020 07:44 PM
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    1,070
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times
    Blog Entries
    8

    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    This is exactly why I chose to keep mine a secret. But even then people have unsolicited opinions. My parents knew and when I started losing they were worried. They worried about my obesity. Then they worried about my WLS. Then when I started losing they got supportive but when I weighed less than my mother who has always been thin, they started saying I was too thin. I was 145 and a size 4. I felt and looked better than I ever have in my life. I worked out every day and looked awesome. Nope, they said I worked out too much and was too thin. Then I got to 130 and was told I was starting to look bad because it was coming out of my face too much and making me look older and gaunt. I loved how I looked. Then people at work started telling me the same thing and said I needed to stop losing. Well, they got their wish. Shortly after that I broke my foot and was laid up for 6 weeks. My mom stayed with me and all she did was cook and feed me the whole time. The regain started. By the time I could walk gain I was no longer a size 4. They said I looked better when I felt so bad about myself. Now that I've regained 60lbs they're back on me about being overweight. Isn't that nice? The moral of this story is don't listen to other people. You do what makes you feel good. Screw everyone else. They haven't walked in our shoes so they have no room to talk. You are doing this for your health. It is NOT the easy way out. If you could lose on your own then you would have. You know what's best for you. The rest is just lip service. Congrats to you for having the courage and strength to make a permanent change.



    You don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be better.

    Revision stats:
    3/2/20 Pre-op: 197.5


  25. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member tripletdadof5's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Bradley
    Surgery date
    06/16/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Hart
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Last Activity
    02-23-2019 07:48 PM
    Location
    Sugar Hill, GA
    Posts
    40
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    Was Thanked 31 Times in 17 Posts
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    I was very upfront with everyone about my surgery, and used facts and figures to shut them down when they started to get negative. A good friend - and fellow teacher - was very vocal about the risks, and I simply said that the benefits outweigh the risks, because at over 350 pounds, my quality of life was suffering, and the possibility of dying young was becoming a reality.



    06/05/2017 - Pre-op Weight: 357
    06/16/2017 - Surgery Weight: 346 (-9)
    06/23/2017 - Week One: 337 (-20)
    07/11/2017 - Week Three: 328 (-29)
    07/26/2017 - Week Six: 320 (-37)
    08/13/2017 - Week Eight: 306.5 (-50.5)
    09/18/2017 - Three Months: 295 (-63)
    01/15/2018 - Six Months: 249 (-108)
    06/16/2018 - One Year: 230 (-127)

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  27. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member denzel's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    02/02/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr Stephen Watson
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Perth, Western Australia
    Posts
    184
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    Default Re: dealing with negativity!

    I had about three friends who I thought would be supportive, but who weren't. Two I was able to send heaps of info to via email, the other doesn't have a computer so I couldn't! This one, when she catches up with me, thinks that I look fantastic!



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