4 years later I wish I didn't tell

[Katrina]

I have no regrets telling casual acquaintances that I've had sleeve gastrectomy. You know who I do regret telling? My two real friends. Grrrr! They get on my last damn nerve. Every single time I see them, and thankfully it's not that often, it's "This is my friend Katrina. She had her stomach cut out." "How do you eat so much when you don't have a stomach? You're always eating." This is my best friend. She almost died from gastric bypass, and so did her daughter. Her daughter is brain damaged from it." It never ends. They both do this out loud to their other friends upon introducing me. One of them just did this to me to the bartender at a restaurant this weekend. I find this so incredibly obnoxious. And fuck, I didn't have gastric bypass, so... makes no difference to that dumb twit, but it annoys me. I don't mind people knowing, but it's my story to tell if I want it told. I also don't feel that it is what defines me. I don't feel that is what someone needs to know first about me.

One of the friends is average/small sized and has been my best friend since high school. I love that loud mouth, sharing too much of my business bitch for life. The other friend has been my friend for the last 18 years, and she's a large lady. Yet, "I'm not big enough to have that surgery. " Oh yes you are, honey. I'm just not rude enough to say it to your face. I'll just say it here behind your back because I'm pissed at you and being petty. (Truthful, but petty) ;-)

Ok, I'm finished ranting. I feel better. I know you guys understand.

[Dutchie]

That is unbelievable... and those are your "best" friends?
That is soooo rude... I'm lost for words actually...
With friends like that, who needs enemies?

[Luv49ers19]

That is so horrible. I too am a loss for words. Sorry my friend you deserve so much better than those so called friends.

[elllie]

I am at a loss for words too. They are probably jealous that you look fabulous. Sometimes people don't think before they talk and are so self absorbed they don't even realize they are hurting you. You are allowed to rant!

[Ann2]

Uh ... have you considered telling them to STFU?

It's not that hard.

[Twodogfox]

That would tick me off as well. You just have to think, its their issue they are compensating for their weakness but still. I must admit my best friend who accompanied me out of town for my surgery, stayed with me there for the rest of the week, then went on vacation for a couple weeks, said this upon her return "oh, now I'm thinking your waddle will have to be the first thing fixed when you loose it all" Serious??? Nothing positive. I never responded, but thought about it. I think she did as well because from then on she's been very complimentary and brags about how great I'm doing and looking to other friends who knew I got the GS. Glad I didn't have to snipe at her.

[Rexcom]

Some people are just too shallow and ignorant....some are just outright cruel. I am only sharing this with my spouse. There are a few others I could tell...but to be safe....just my spouse. I do not want WLS to be their main thought when they think of me.....and I don't like being the focus of discussion.
Also, I will not tell ignorant/cruel people for THEIR own good...as I am likey to kick their asx when I hear the ignorant comments. :-)
Sorry, but it really lights my fuse when thinking such people.

[shabby]

i would suggest you tell them just what you told us..." this is my story to tell, not yours. please do not do this again."
sad you have to state the obvious to people you are so clearly so fond of.

[Viv28]

I understand fully. I only shared with my children, 2 close friends, siblings and a very close cousin. That is ALL I wanted to share with. My HR rep has a family member who works with me. The day my Dr sent my request for surgery information to my insurance provider I knew I was in store for something. 3 days later my co worker just started talking to me about losing weight and weight loss. I knew the HR rep shared my personal medical business with her but I am not able to prove it. I lost nearly 100 pounds and now this co worker still brings up info I never shared with her. She even shared this with 3 other co workers but the moment they confirm it I promise I will file a complaint. A manager at my job asked me if I had weight loss surgery, I said NO because it is NONE of her business and really improper to ask. I just do not feel comfortable with so many people in my personal business.

People will dismiss your hard work and efforts by saying, well you had the surgery. We all know it takes work to get to the point you are allowed to have the surgery and even more work to lose the weight and keep it off.

People can be envious and just plain shitty.

My fat ass is my business.

[donnahellno]

My mother sounds just like your friends. She means well, and she certainly never means any harm, but sometimes I want to shake her (or punch her) because she is incapable of knowing when to shut the hell up.

So far, I haven't even told her that I'm going to see the surgeon. My husband knows and my best friend knows. Ideally, no one else will really need to know. At least for a while, if ever.

It's frustrating because you can have a really good person who has this one really terrible habit...so what do you do? Do you cut that person out of your life entirely because of the one thing they do that bothers you, or do you just take the bad with the good and accept that this is one of your people, and that is one of their flaws? Even if it's a huge flaw. Even if it really really sucks. Is it worth losing a whole person over? That's how I always look at it, when I'm not fuming mad because she's just done something to piss me off, of course.

[KiwiGal]

Gosh, I'm not sure what to say. I would be mortified if the few people that I have told behaved like that. They certainly wouldn't be classed as my friends.
I would absolutely tell them how you feel when they say things like that. It's no-ones business but yours and as you say it's your story to tell. Shabby has the right idea!

[Christie13]

See if someone outed me like this I would talk to them the first time and let them know exactly where I stood on the subject. The next time I think I would cut them off. I don't have time for people who can't respect my wishes. Doesn't really sound like friendship to me.

[Stacey03]

Yeah, they wouldn't be my friends. Nope. They sound like a piece of work Katrina.

[Pudsley]

Hi Katrina,

Maybe the transformation you have made has brought you to a crossroads where you might consider making more changes with the people around you.

I hear you and I understand. I have not told anyone by the way except my hubby of course.

But... this is so annoying and maybe you don't have time for this any more. Life is full of changes some more challenging than others.

You will know if and when its time for that change.

All the Best to you.

By the way it sounds very much like they envy your decision and hard work but can't bring themselves to admit it. So its easier to be petty - it sounds like its on their mind ALL the time. Shame they can't just say" Well Done Katrina ! ".

[Dutchie]

"Hi, this is my friend Dorothy, she had her leg amputated"
Hmmm, doesn't sounds right somehow...
I mean, really?