4 years later I wish I didn't tell

[mellowjoy]

The next time they introduce you as the friend who had surgery your reply should be 'Yes I did and all this beauty and great health you see is because I decided to take control of my life.

[jessiejess]

I have no regrets telling casual acquaintances that I've had sleeve gastrectomy. You know who I do regret telling? My two real friends. Grrrr! They get on my last damn nerve. Every single time I see them, and thankfully it's not that often, it's "This is my friend Katrina. She had her stomach cut out." "How do you eat so much when you don't have a stomach? You're always eating." This is my best friend. She almost died from gastric bypass, and so did her daughter. Her daughter is brain damaged from it." It never ends. They both do this out loud to their other friends upon introducing me. One of them just did this to me to the bartender at a restaurant this weekend. I find this so incredibly obnoxious. And fuck, I didn't have gastric bypass, so... makes no difference to that dumb twit, but it annoys me. I don't mind people knowing, but it's my story to tell if I want it told. I also don't feel that it is what defines me. I don't feel that is what someone needs to know first about me.

One of the friends is average/small sized and has been my best friend since high school. I love that loud mouth, sharing too much of my business bitch for life. The other friend has been my friend for the last 18 years, and she's a large lady. Yet, "I'm not big enough to have that surgery. " Oh yes you are, honey. I'm just not rude enough to say it to your face. I'll just say it here behind your back because I'm pissed at you and being petty. (Truthful, but petty) ;-)

Ok, I'm finished ranting. I feel better. I know you guys understand.

This post is awesome. I LOVE IT!! Preach, girl!!! PREACH!!

[AnnieStillG]

I am with Ann2 -- STFU seems about polite enough. I know loyalty and friendship are often mysteries and I have had some friends that I'll always have, but truth told they are toxic to my feelings and I avoid them. So are they friends? Maybe not!

[sraebaer]

To be introduced as the friend who had surgery would make me angry too! Surgery doesn't define who we are, and is really no one's business. Could you talk to her and say you'd rather she not mention your surgery?

[AnnieStillG]

I would hate to be defined as "the woman whose had multiple cancer chemo and heart surgeries, and has a resident brain tumor". And it is our own story to decide whom we tell and how much.

[southernmom]

This is why I chose not to tell a lot of people. Close family members and two friends are all that know, and I wish that I had only told my husband. My in laws don't even know. For a while, my mom constantly talked about people she knew that had had surgery and regained. One of my dear friends had dieted and trained to lose over 100 pounds, only to gain it all back. She knows, and it's put a strain on our relationship. The thing that people really don't understand is thinking that it's a quick fix. They don't realize that I still watch what I eat at every meal and weigh myself daily. I know that this was something that I decided to do for life. Yes, I still have the tastebuds of a heavy person and would love to live on fast food and junk. But, when I had the surgery, I knew that I had to make the choice to do better, and I have. I refuse to look or feel that way anymore. I really do think that there's some jealousy from your friends, otherwise they wouldn't act like that.

[Kier]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think you are my twin!!! I haven't had my surgery yet, but I would have thought that through and expressed it nearly identical to how you just did!!! Those damn old friends that we love...PISS US OFF!!! haha! Congrats on your success and just tell your friends.."like seriously quit telling everyone about my friggin surgery before I knock you out!!!" Good Luck!