The Latest on Me

[knp76]

Hey everyone,
I haven't posted here in a while. I have been busy working two jobs and just dealing with life in general. Things have been ok. Still dealing with some depression and my anxiety has been kicking up quite a bit lately. Been trying to work with my NP on getting my medications sorted, it's an ongoing battle. My weight loss is going well. I just had my six month follow up visit with my surgeon. I have lost 75 pounds since starting the program and about 84 pounds since January of 2017 altogether. I am really happy with my decision to have the surgery. I am enjoying trying on clothes (not that I am buying a ton whilst still losing weight) I did have to buy a new pair of jeans from Old Navy simply because I was so excited that I could actually shop there now. I never could fit into their clothes prior to the surgery. I have gone from a size 26 in pants to a 16/18 depending on style/brand. In tops I can wear an XL or sometimes a large again depending on style/brand. I actually tried on some nice spring dresses (I didn't buy them though) I just wanted to see if they fit and how I would look in them. I have not tried on a dress in many years because I just hated the way my body looked. I never thought certain clothes looked right, dresses never seemed to hang correctly with a big butt and belly lol. I look at pictures of myself from last year when I weighed over 300 pounds and I just can't believe that was me. I think how did I let myself get that big? I have to admit though that I still sometimes see myself as a larger person even though I realize that I have lost a significant amount of weight and can fit into clothes that are smaller. It is a fairly common thing with some people after the surgery. Our brains sometimes haven't caught up to the reality of our new slimmer bodies. I suppose it takes time to see yourself more clearly the farther out from surgery you are and you become more adjusted to your new normal. Overall I am doing well and enjoying this journey much more than I thought I would. I hope everyone else is doing well.

[justsillyme]

That's amazing!! I bet you rocked those dresses! Congrats on losing so much weight, you are an inspiration.

[erc70]

congratulations on your success. I am sorry you are dealing with so much anxiety. I hope you start feeling better soon. I also suffer from anxiety and am so worried it will start bothering me after the surgery (June 1). When did you notice it started acting up more?

[KiwiGal]

Well done. You are doing great!
Shopping for clothes is much more fun now isn't it?! I'm only buying small amounts and very cheap as I seem to have to replace them quite frequently......I love it!

[Luv49ers19]

Great job on the weight loss! That is huge!!!

I'm literally less than half the person I was and I struggle with my own perception of myself. I still feel fat some days even though I know I'm not. Our brains are so weird. Anyhoo it is getting better the further out I am. I'm told it will be there for a while for those of us who have been obese for long periods of time....like my whole life! Knowing that I can deal with it better I think.

Just my thoughts. You are doing stellar! Keep up the fight my freind, you are worth it!

[Christie13]

Yay!! You are doing so well. I hope that you get your meds sorted out. Dealing with depression and anxiety is no fun. But you are dropping the weight and looking great. And I totally get it. I sometimes think I look fat. And I am definitely not fat.

[AnnieG]

You are doing wonderfully! When I was at my heaviest (240), I never thought of myself as obese, although 5'4" means I was. I was thin the majority of my life, but struggled with anorexia/bulemia due to early PTSD from trauma.

I've found I now view myself as big, although I am not. So journaling like crazy to get a handle on it; if that doesn't work, back to the psychologist.

I do have to say I have always had a body recognition issue; that is, I never recognize myself in the mirror or store window. Long story, bad childhood stuff.

You sound like you are dealing incredibly well! <3

[Fab50]

Thank you so much for the update. You are an inspiration for me! I cannot wait until next year at this time. I am hoping that I just feel like a new awesome me!!!!

[knp76]

You are doing wonderfully! When I was at my heaviest (240), I never thought of myself as obese, although 5'4" means I was. I was thin the majority of my life, but struggled with anorexia/bulemia due to early PTSD from trauma.

I've found I now view myself as big, although I am not. So journaling like crazy to get a handle on it; if that doesn't work, back to the psychologist.

I do have to say I have always had a body recognition issue; that is, I never recognize myself in the mirror or store window. Long story, bad childhood stuff.

You sound like you are dealing incredibly well! <3

I have had bad body image issues for many years. I also suffered from bulimia. It has been hard to overcome the eating disorder issues. I just keep on fighting though.

[Stacey03]

Hope the depression and anxiety improves. sounds like ou are going so great on your weight loss x