Should I?

[Chief Steve]

My primary care physician recommends VSG surgery. I am 46 years old, male, about 250 pounds, bmi around 36. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, plantar fasciitis. I have been overweight for around 25 years. I had thyroid cancer many years ago (total thyroidectomy) so I take synthroid daily. I have never been good at dieting, my will power sucks. I sometimes feel so hungry (low blood-sugar) that I start to sweat and sometimes even feel dizzy. I am very nervous about being able to follow both the pre-surgery diet and the post-surgery diets. I have always been a big over-eater. I just don't feel full.
Very nervous. My wife wants me to have the VSG surgery. I know it would add years to my life. I am just so nervous about how to handle social situations post-surgery. Questions like "why don't you ever eat anything" or have a beer? I am very introverted and don't like people knowing my business.
Ugh. This is a difficult decision. I respect those of you who were able to make the decision comfortably.

[Ann2]

My primary care physician recommends VSG surgery. I am 46 years old, male, about 250 pounds, bmi around 36. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, plantar fasciitis. I have been overweight for around 25 years. I had thyroid cancer many years ago (total thyroidectomy) so I take synthroid daily. I have never been good at dieting, my will power sucks. I sometimes feel so hungry (low blood-sugar) that I start to sweat and sometimes even feel dizzy. I am very nervous about being able to follow both the pre-surgery diet and the post-surgery diets. I have always been a big over-eater. I just don't feel full.
Very nervous. My wife wants me to have the VSG surgery. I know it would add years to my life. I am just so nervous about how to handle social situations post-surgery. Questions like "why don't you ever eat anything" or have a beer? I am very introverted and don't like people knowing my business.
Ugh. This is a difficult decision. I respect those of you who were able to make the decision comfortably.

LOL! Nobody here (that I know of) "made the decision comfortably." For me, after agonizing over it for a year, I was "Seriously?! I'm really gonna do this?"

When you are on THAT side of WLS you understandably have ZERO idea of what life on THIS side of WLS will be like. For one thing, you imagine (incorrectly) that you'll not be able to "ever eat anything or have a beer." Beer's not my thing (wine is), but food is definitely one of my things. And 3.5 years post-op I can eat absolutely anything I want to eat. However, the difference between today and 4-5 years ago is that I don't overeat or graze between meals or eat unnutritious crappy foods (very often) or eat in secret so nobody can see how much I'm eating.

But I'll admit that in addition to having been sleeved, I've been seeing a therapist for 4 years. I've been absolutely committed to building and living a new, very different lifestyle than I did pre-op.

Overeating post-op is not impossible. But it is a LOT harder to do. And if you're really committed to adding not only more years to your life, but unimaginably more life to the years you have left, you will spend the rest of the days you draw breath wanting to be as healthy as you can. Because once you get a taste of what life can be, compared to the last 25 years of your life, you will never, ever want to go back to the hell you're living now.

And trust me, once you're not miserable you'll finally understand how miserable you used to be.

Sorry for the rant / sermon. I know how hard it is to imagine what life after WLS will be like. Once I couldn't imagine now good this would turn out.

P.S. If you'd like to read about my WLS journey, click on the three links at the bottom of my signature block below.

[DHB]

Chief Steve:
1. What Ann said.
2. I'm 3 mos post-op and also wondered what people would say when I didn't eat much, drink, etc. Here's the biggest revelation: hardly anyone notices. I'm now totally comfortable asking for a take away box at business meals, eating with friends who don't know I've been sleeved, going to parties. In fact, it's incredibly liberating to not spend so much time eating and more time listening to people. And with all of that interaction only one person remarked about me not eating much and I simply said, "I have a wedding coming up." (My son is getting married in May.) That was it. In fact, it makes me wonder what people were thinking when I was spending so much time eating everything in sight.

No one needs to know your business. Only my family and a couple of close friends know. You can do this and you don't need to share anything about it. You just enjoy feeling and looking so much better.

[cpttrsn]

I would not do it until you are ready to commit. The pre-op diet is hard and I got through it because I was tired of being overweight and tired of diabetes medicine. I am 9 years older than you and was 50 lbs heavier. I did not like the path I was on and knew I needed a dramatic change. I did not have the willpower to stick to a lifetime diet so the VSG decision was easy for me. I had to change doctors due to insurance changes and the new doctor recommended the surgery on a Wednesday and I was scheduled the following Friday. Had the surgery three weeks later and would go through it all again if I had to do so. My wife and kids have been very supportive.

I am 4 weeks post surgery and have lost a total of 49 lbs since that first doctors visit. The first week of recovery was not great but nothing as bad as what I have heard from others. I think a big part of doing so good is that I was 99.9 percent compliant with the pre-op diet and instructions. I think I had 3 saltine crackers during the first day of my liquid only phase. I feel great and like seeing the scale go down almost every day. I just finished the 2nd week of the "soft diet" phase (weeks 3 and 4) and am now able to eat small portions of "real" food.

I did not tell very many people at all. I did not want questioned and certainly did not want anyone trying to talk me out of it. My in-laws found out and I get a lot of questions and comments from them but not too much.

I started this reply by saying not to do it until you are ready to commit. I still think that is sound. But I hope my story helps you get a little closer to being ready.

[Cadoodle]

I agree with everyone's comment. Don't let fear keep you from the joy you have waiting!! You will have no regrets. I am pulling for you and want to see you make a good decision.

[gbpackerschic]

I definitely would, well.... I am on March 15th... the sleeve. I have told no one except my fiancé, and I have asked him to keep it between us only. One thing I have got going for me is we just moved to a small town way out in a rural area, and hardly anyone here knows us. We see family every 2 years or 3. I arrange to go back only when my weight is down. My issue I suppose. I am almost 56yrs old and I wish I had done this years earlier. I decided that I want to see my grandchildren grow up. I want to live here for a long time on our dream property with my dream home, and man. I don't expect this to be an easy thing to do. I as well have very little will power. I do have a will...a will to be healthy, wear nice clothes, not feel like an embarrasment, a will to get out more, travel, and quit hiding out in the house. You may find your not really an introvert at all. You'll be feeling so fine in time. Why don't you ever eat anything? I ate before I got here, or your not going to believe this but, but deep down inside of me is a sexy devil waiting to get out! Same with the drinking, tryin to cut down. If they can't quit ragging on you about it, stay away from them. That's how I'm going to roll. My friends don't except my choice to be healthy, then they are not my friends.

[Stacey03]

No regrets from me and yes, people don't really care what you are eating I find!

[nicat23]

I agonized about getting the surgery for nearly 5 years before I bit the bullet and got it done, absolutely zero regrets here. Everyone's reasons are different, for me I nearly crossed the 400lb mark, everything hurt all the time, and I have two kiddos with another on the way that I want to be alive for, and for their kids. I wanted to be able to play with my children actively and be able to keep up, and mostly to not follow in the same footsteps of my father, who had a stroke and heart attack at the age of 49 and 50. This place is a great resource with wonderful people to bounce ideas off of. As Ann said, there are a lot of us who are still seeing therapists to wrap our heads around a lot of issues too which is well worth it and will help you keep your head straight. 98lbs later and I'm below 300 lbs for the first time in over two decades, absolutely no regrets except that I did not do it sooner!

Best of luck!

[Christie13]

Best decision I could have ever made for myself. I am so much happier and healthier. I only told immediate family and 4 close friends. I initially told work friends that I had hernia repair and ulcer repair. Not entirely untrue. I did get my hiatal hernia repaired with my sleeve and the ulcer I had was part of my tummy that was removed. So...creative explanation. As for eating, no one really notices. Especially once you are a 4-5 months post op. Before that I would make excuses like I had eaten earlier or my stomach was a bit iffy. Overall though, no one pays attention. And it is not like you are eating out for every meal. I am over a year and I can eat a more "normal" amount but not huge quantities. I drink when I want to. I can tell you that no one is none the wiser. I do work out a lot more now. I strength train and run. I am super healthy and people just assume that I am a fitness freak. Especially new work friends who did not know me fat.

[MikeMo]

Steve - I'm under a month away from my operation, and totally understand what you're thinking. I'm about a decade older than you, also a bit fluffier, dealing with Sleep Apnea, joint pain, and mobility issues. Frustrating for me that I love to do home improvement projects, I know how to do them, but can't because I don't have the energy / mobility to tackle them. I've dieted multiple times through the years, successfully lost considerable weight only to regain the weight and more within a year. It is intimidating to pursue a surgical procedure to fix what many would call a failure of willpower, but in reality obesity is a complex condition and willpower isn't the real driver, it's a mix of biology, environment, genetics, and too many tasty flavors of Baskin Robbins Ice Cream...

There are a couple of things that I'd recommend you read that may help you in this decision you're considering. One of my favorites is a book, Secrets from the Eating Lab by Traci Mann. This book does a very nice job of discussing how diets (don't) work, how our bodies function trying to maintain a set point weight, and how our approach to food is flawed. Another item I found helpful was a series of articles published by the New York Times in 2016 and 2017. In particular, I'd recommend an article from 2/13/17 titled "Why Weight Loss Surgery Works When Diets Don't", and another from 12/27/16 titled "After Weight Loss Surgery, a Year of Joys and Disappointments". There are several other articles around this time period, but I found these two to be the most helpful to myself.

One final thought, if you do go down this road, be prepared for bumps. I'm still in prep stage, but coming up against a realization that this will change how I eat forever; where food has been a social activity for me in the past I'll need to work around that and it'll change relationships with others. There's several good books out there on psychology of dieting, but at minimum know that how you think about food changes after the operation.

Best of wishes in your decision making; don't hesitate to post questions or read of other's experiences on forums like this. The folks that have gone through this and came out the other side are an amazing resource.

[AnnieG]

My primary care physician recommends VSG surgery. I am 46 years old, male, about 250 pounds, bmi around 36. I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, plantar fasciitis. I have been overweight for around 25 years. I had thyroid cancer many years ago (total thyroidectomy) so I take synthroid daily. I have never been good at dieting, my will power sucks. I sometimes feel so hungry (low blood-sugar) that I start to sweat and sometimes even feel dizzy. I am very nervous about being able to follow both the pre-surgery diet and the post-surgery diets. I have always been a big over-eater. I just don't feel full.
Very nervous. My wife wants me to have the VSG surgery. I know it would add years to my life. I am just so nervous about how to handle social situations post-surgery. Questions like "why don't you ever eat anything" or have a beer? I am very introverted and don't like people knowing my business.
Ugh. This is a difficult decision. I respect those of you who were able to make the decision comfortably.

I had the same co-morbidities plus strokes, cancer & triple bypass that failed, with 24/7 angina that was debilitating.

ALL my numbers are in the perfect area of normal since the first month post surgery. I've only had one serious BS drop, and it was when I had just vegetables at dinner without protein -- and yes, I knew better but didn't think. My A1C is at 4.8!

Social situations are challenging, but it helped me to know that 1) no one really pays attention to what I eat; 2) I'm there for the company/camaraderie, not the food; and I can "taste" a bite of anything that appeals to me.

We have dear friends that graduated from Culinary Art Institute and are retired chefs. They cook like fiends when we see them; but I've learned to taste, comment and not finish everything. I have tried wine, and about 1/2 of a glass is okay although empty calories. And I cannot drink it with meals so either have it instead of sharing in a dessert.

I am 66 -- with all my chronic issues, and major surgeries over the years, I am so grateful I did this. I have energy, enthusiasm, alertness and even the angina has resolved. I've gone from 17 medications daily to only 4, not counting vitamins.

I only wish I had known (been encouraged by doctors) to do it earlier! But more life in my years now than in the past 10.

And as to the questions, I generally smile and say "whyever would you want to know?" I too am an introvert, but like I say, I think I used to overestimate how fascinated people are with my life, lol.

[jerzeygirl]

Wow, I just read this thread and if I was "on the fence" instead of being on the "losers' bench"; I'd definitely have the surgery. You all give some wonderful responses and support. I think everyone who responded is a warrior for walking their own journey so successfully but also for "paying it forward" to someone who we all want to enjoy life in the ways we've been able to and will continue to do; on our journeys' ! You're all wonderful

[jerzeygirl]

BTW: Steve, go for it and never look back, life is wonderful and it's worth the hard work that it takes to change for the better! I've been fortunate to meet hundreds of people in my current job in a bariatric center, and not one regrets it and we all wish we had done it sooner!!

[mandyjdc]

Hi Chief Steve!

I thought about surgery for a good 4 months before I decided to go to a seminar. With insurance and scheduling, I had a good 8 month wait from the time I went to the seminar to the day I went in for surgery. The whole 8 months I kept going back and forth - "should I really do this? maybe I can do this on my own? This is so drastic...blah blah blah..."

Well, I just kept going through the motions, and after lurking on boards just like this and reading everyone's positive responses I decided to just trust my instinct and go for it.

I'm 4 months out, and don't regret it at all. I had type II diabetes and I haven't had any meds in almost 5 months, and my A1C is 5.3.
I was one of those people that never got full. I could just eat and eat and eat.
Now? I can only eat 1/3 - 1/2 c. of food at a time, and I get full. And that 1/3-1/2 c of food lasts me a good 2 or 3 hours.

It's wonderful to not feel controlled by food anymore. It's still a bit of a struggle choosing the right foods all the time, but it is easier than it was before.
Like someone else mentioned, it's amazing to be able to go to a party, festival, and not have it be purely about FOOD. I find I've become more social since I'm not pre-occupied with food at events.

Hope this helps!

[gbpackerschic]

Beautifully said! and I thank you for the advise as well.