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Thread: Frustrated

  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member mandyjdc's Avatar
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    Default Frustrated

    Ok guys, I need a little slap in the face and some encouragement. So I've lost 6 lbs since this time last month. Not as much as I wanted, but Christmas, New Years, threw me a bit. Certainly did not go overboard, or overeat, but I did have some nibbles of things I shouldn't have over the Christmas season. Also was busy and didn't make it to the gym as often as I would've liked.

    My resolution then, was to get back to the gym, and not even nibble on goodies. Well, the past two weeks have been stressful. My 63 year old mother who lives with me (she's widowed and is mostly disabled) and I've been her caretaker since I was 19,got the flu, and while I was at work, passed out and was in the hospital for a week. I'll admit, I did not get all my protein or fluids in on most of those days. Did manage to stay away from the vending machines and cafeteria food, however. Last week I was coming directly home from work and caring for her as she was still very weak and dependent on me.

    Now, she is doing well enough that I can get out for an hour to the gym. I went this weekend. My problem now is nibbling. At work. Everyone brings in junk food and it's a free for all. I always bring plenty of healthy snacks and my lunch so I'm never tempted to go to the cafeteria, but sometimes the Cheeto's, cookies, chips and dip call my name. I know that even though I'm only having two or three bites a day or sometimes just every other day, and it may not make a big difference on my daily calorie intake, I think - how much does that add up over the week?! I've been stalled for 2 weeks. The past few days I've been getting my protein in and my fluids, and staying around 800 cals per day. I don't know if it was a combination of stress, not enough fluids, not enough exercise, and the nibbling, but I'm frustrated.

    Made a vow to myself not to nibble the junk at work, but I had 2 cheeto puffs and 2 bites of a cupcake today. I feel so ashamed and guilty, here I've had this surgery and I still am lured again, and fall in the trap. I feel worthless, I feel like I have no will power, I feel like I'm failing. I know I have to figure this out because the junk food will always be there, it's certainly not going away.

    Sorry for the depressing post, but I need a kick in the butt!

    Amanda



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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Amanda i 100% feel you, i do the same i had my surgery a few weeks before you. I tend to get frustrated and when i go to the offices of my coworkers who have candy sitting out i tend to reach and grab with out thinking about it, because i have done it so many times in the past. Today i flat out told a coworker i wouldn't come back and see her if she didn't get rid of that junk on her desk lol. i seem to have have 1 to 2 week stalls then when i think all hope is lost i loose 3 lbs. I was only a little over 200lbs when i first started so i know my weight loss will not be as significant in loosing as some would, but i still like to see it falling off!! and fast but!!!! i have to realize also that its not just gonna melt i didn't get this way over night and i'm not going to change over night.

    its a process. even with the eating that i have found personally I will stay away from it and my daughter will make cookies and by dang if i haven't eaten one before i ever thought about it. The point is not to beat your self up ( i have to tell myself this all the time) i am making better choices i'm sure you are too! that's the point is to make better choices long term, and try to correct the bad learned behavior as we experience it. I know that when i go to the coworkers office i will pick up a piece of candy out of habit so to correct it i totally meant it i won't go back unless i absolutely have too. that's me correcting my bad behavior. We just have to make the effort to correct those things we can. Don't beat yourself up over things you did last week or even today go from now... forward and make the decision to do it right this time. your doing great i hope your mother is better soon
    5'2 highest weight 218
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  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member Alynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Amanda,

    I understand the care taker role. I did it for a number of years for my mother and mother in-law. If have to make the decision that you are going to take time for you and care for your self. The better you care for your self will ultimately make it easier for you to care for them. As far as the junk food around, make your self some healthy snacks as go to if you have to have something, besides the protein bar. Nuts, a bit of dried fruit (when I say a bit 4 or 5 raisins or craisins). Try taking a walk around the office or climb a flight of stair to shake the temptation. Have a cup of tea.

    Wishing you all the best!



  5. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member Kimsterama's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Hi there! Don't get too discouraged or beat yourself up too badly, there's still time to turn the ship around! It's tough when you don't have the time to yourself. I just wanted to say that for me personally, I'm not going to allow junk food back into my life! Personally, I went through too much, was self-pay, and risked my safety by getting this operation (I was thankfully not part of the 1% that has complications) and did it to lose the weight I put on by years of self abuse with junk food! I am just not going to go in that direction, and if I do, I will be posting here that I need a kick in the butt as well! Because the stomach is so small, it should be satisfied with protein first and veggies second. So I'm going to play by the rules, and eat healthily, most of the time! tonight I splurged and had for the 1st time, canned peaches. I don't know how healthy that is; but it was tasty and didn't hurt my stomach. And I'm not one to offer advice because I'm only 3 months out and 9 days. However I have made a pact with myself and no junk food. If I do have a few cookies at Christmas, sure but if there's a slippery slope I'm cutting it out very fast! Just my experience, take it lightly :-) Keep up the great work!! PS I'm also very sorry for your mom's rough go at it. I too am a caregiver and I understand, wouldn't want anything like that to happen in my situation.



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  7. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    You need to remember you are a priority. One thing that helped change my mindset is that we can only eat small amounts and our body needs good nutrition. Obviously if you waste some of the little space in your tummy for junk then that is that amount of good nutrients that you are not getting. Another thing is that when you eat the bad foods you crave them more. Fill up on solid proteins. It really does leave very little room for other things because you are full. If you know you are going to a coworkers office who has snacks you might want to pop a piece of sugar free gum. That may help you. I know if I am eating minty gum I have no desire for chocolate or the like. Are you seeing a therapist or in any type of support group? Some people have a harder time than others about the mental aspects of the surgery. It is not easy but you are worth it.



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    Gastric Sleeve Member gopostal24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    2 cheetoo puffs and 2 bites of a cupcake do not sound like the entire bag of cheeto puffs and a six pack of cupcakes! If you are anything like me, I had zero limits and ate everything until it was gone. This isn't to say that nibbling junk food is a good idea, but I weigh myself, watch what I put in my mouth and understand that I have created a life where there is no return to the old me. Be kind to yourself, realize that a bite or a two is not the same as a binge or two and that beating yourself up over a bite here or a bite there is counterproductive to all that you have already done. The bite isn't the problem, the beating yourself up is. If beating yourself up didn't work all these years, why would it work now? Be as kind to yourself as you are to your dear sweet mother and all will be well!



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  11. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member Merry Mary's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Quote Originally Posted by mandyjdc View Post
    The past few days I've been getting my protein in and my fluids, and staying around 800 cals per day. I don't know if it was a combination of stress, not enough fluids, not enough exercise, and the nibbling

    Amanda
    I’m guessing you aren’t eating enough regular food. 800 calories at 3 months out seems a bit low. Get your fluids in and increase your calories some and see if that helps
    HW - 394
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  12. #8
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    First of all, a 6 pound loss over the holidays is amazing! Many of us are happy to maintain. I gained some, but lost it once all the people left my house after 11 days!!

    Sorry about your issues with your mom. It's tough to follow the program when your routine is all messed up, but it sounds like you're doing a good job. Sometimes the "best you can do" has to be good enough.

    We're going skiing next week and I'm wondering what I will be eating. I'm used to hubby cooking fish and veggies on his Treager grill. We will be quite a ways from a grocery store, with 2 kids who eat snacks. I guess I'll pack my protein drinks and buy lots of eggs and chicken! At least on the slopes I'll be exercising all day. I have protein bars but they are so high in calories, I'm not sure if they are worth it

  13. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member mandyjdc's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Thanks everyone! I'm in a much better state of mind today. I brought in a ton of healthy things for me to eat so that I have a good variety to choose from.

    I told myself this morning over and over and over again, that I DO NOT WANT the junk food. Not that I can't have it, but that I Don't want it. That's actually kind of helped. Telling myself I'm not interested in it has kept me from eating the cupcakes and cheetos that are still lurking in the office today.

    Sraebaer, have fun on your ski trip!



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  15. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member Gvn71's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Sorry you are having a tough time. Holidays are always tough regardless of other issues. Adding a sick / injured family member to the mix just makes it that much harder.

    A trick I use to keep from eating "junk" is to always, always, always have a water bottle with me. If I am tempted to eat something when it is not the right time, I drink the water bottle! Then, I have to wait 30 minutes to eat and hopefully the temptation / opportunity for bad eating has passed! I know some people don't follow the 30 minute before / 30 minute after rule, but I do religiously. I also use the water bottle trick when I'm feeling hungry and don't need to eat. Water fills me up and I can last a while longer after drinking!

    Hope this helps!
    LOVING MY NEW LIFE!!!!

    "Never take life to seriously, no one gets out alive anyway!"

    Remember, in this thing, it's a good thing to be a loser!




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  16. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member mandyjdc's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Thanks Glenn!



  17. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member simplyseahorse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    I am trying to prepare for all of those tempting treats at work. Today someone dropped off tiny bundt cakes! There was so much stuff in our break room over the holidays - all of the doctors sent goodies, some of the patients' families - it was crazy. BUT I have a drawer in my desk with my own stash of lower fat stuff (ok so there is still peanut butter, but I am still bitter about having to wait three more months!) and protein bars, almonds.

    I can totally understand that urge to nibble though, especially with what you have going on at home. I am living with my mom and stepdad right now - I moved back to Florida to help them and start over after my company went out of business, so it was mutually beneficial. I am looking for a condo right now, but she wants me to stay there. She just got out of the hospital with pneumonia and had a terrible reaction to one of the meds. It made her delusional and combative and they had to restrain her, so she is extremely scared and paranoid right now. It is hard on her AND my stepdad and me. I feel guilty about getting my own place again, but I feel like I am choking when I am at home. So what do I turn to for comfort? Food of course! I have been so much better, and I take walks out on the property and am hooked on slot machine game apps on my ipad, but still.....sometimes food is the only thing. So please don't beat yourself up - you have nibbled - you lost weight at the time of year NOBODY loses weight - and you are doing great. I agree - although I don't do it for myself, you have to take time and put yourself as a priority. I am just now trying to get back to that myself. It is hard, but you (and I) deserve it!


    I am a Registered Dietitian/Nutritionist but I have never practiced in the areas of bariatrics or weight loss. I am happy to offer ideas or tips, but please follow your own Nutritionist's advice - she is the expert in the area.

  18. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member mandyjdc's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Thanks!

    That's a difficult situation to be in. I know a lot of men I go out with end up leaving when they find out my mom lives with me. It can be really hard, but my mom is one of my best friends, and is very dependent so I feel like I can't leave her.



  19. #14
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    Quote Originally Posted by simplyseahorse View Post
    I am trying to prepare for all of those tempting treats at work. Today someone dropped off tiny bundt cakes! There was so much stuff in our break room over the holidays - all of the doctors sent goodies, some of the patients' families - it was crazy. BUT I have a drawer in my desk with my own stash of lower fat stuff (ok so there is still peanut butter, but I am still bitter about having to wait three more months!) and protein bars, almonds.

    I can totally understand that urge to nibble though, especially with what you have going on at home. I am living with my mom and stepdad right now - I moved back to Florida to help them and start over after my company went out of business, so it was mutually beneficial. I am looking for a condo right now, but she wants me to stay there. She just got out of the hospital with pneumonia and had a terrible reaction to one of the meds. It made her delusional and combative and they had to restrain her, so she is extremely scared and paranoid right now. It is hard on her AND my stepdad and me. I feel guilty about getting my own place again, but I feel like I am choking when I am at home. So what do I turn to for comfort? Food of course! I have been so much better, and I take walks out on the property and am hooked on slot machine game apps on my ipad, but still.....sometimes food is the only thing. So please don't beat yourself up - you have nibbled - you lost weight at the time of year NOBODY loses weight - and you are doing great. I agree - although I don't do it for myself, you have to take time and put yourself as a priority. I am just now trying to get back to that myself. It is hard, but you (and I) deserve it!
    OMG, we have a "Nothing Bundt Cakes" store quite a ways from our house, tried it once, and they were the best cakes I have ever had. But driving around the other day I see a new store right by my house! Oh no! The are AMAZING. I just won't stop. (But I can dream....)

  20. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member mandyjdc's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Amanda
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    Default Re: Frustrated

    We also have a "Nothing Bundt Cakes" place near our hospital. They come around every once in awhile and give us complimentary boxes of assorted little bundt cakes. It's going to be hard to resist next time they come around!



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