Husband has a issue with my weight....

[Luv49ers19]

Let me just start by saying my husband supports me in my journey 110% and loves me more than anything. He knows I needed this surgery to get healthy and feel better both physically and mentally. With that being said he loves bigger women. I was 200 pounds when we got married and gained 60 pounds in the 10 years that followed.

I have a small frame, I'm only 5 foot. The smallest I have ever been was when I was 16 and weighed 110 pounds. Other than that brief period of time I've always struggled with my weight. I'm not looking to be that small again but I don't know where my body is going to settle at.

So now talking to him he says that I don't need to be any smaller. If I lose any more he thinks I will look sickly and not someone he would be attracked to. I did tell him it is out of my hands at this point. My body will settle where it will.

I know it will be fine and he will get use to the new me but it will take time. I guess I'm just venting and sharing my fears. It is a huge change not only for me but him as well. All part of the process I guess. Thanks for listening.

P.S. No will not change the healthy path on on just to please him. I refuse to be that unhealthy again. So no worries on me sabotaging my wonderful new tool.

[sraebaer]

You could get out the BMI charts and show him where you need to be for the "healthy" range. He loves you, so I'm sure he wants you healthy so you can grow old together. I can tell you being older is so much fun! I'm 60 and hubby 62, kids are gone, and we can travel, hike, bike, ski, do it all. I honestly feel this is the best time of our lives. I just retired and sub when I want to, he retires the end of April.

My husband is so proud of the new me, and is much more physically attracted to me than before. I am actually amazed that he loved me at my heaviest, but he did, never even said anything about how fat I was. He's a keeper.

[Tamera2]

Congratulations on your success with the Sleeve. I hope your husband gets on board. Good for you to not let anyone get in the way of you achieveing a healthy you. Take Care

[Ann2]

I'm really sorry to hear that a man who supposedly adores you thinks he "won't be attracted to you" if you reach a healthy BMI.

The nicest thing I can think of to say is that it's his loss.

I think you are doing GREAT!

[Stacey03]

Ahhhhh some of these husbands don't like the changes innit! So much has changed for you and now you're back at work and looking like 20 years younger and hubbie is FREAKING out! This might be a good point to see a couples therapist if he will go... if not go alone.. I'm a bit believer in jumping on problems fast xx

[Luv49ers19]

Ahhhhh some of these husbands don't like the changes innit! So much has changed for you and now you're back at work and looking like 20 years younger and hubbie is FREAKING out! This might be a good point to see a couples therapist if he will go... if not go alone.. I'm a bit believer in jumping on problems fast xx

Oh my husband HATES change. This is huge for him and I know it is his own insecurities talking he has always said I'm to good for him and now that I'm a normal size he is scared.

The main reason I posted what is did is for other people who may find them selves in a similar situation to know they are not alone.

My husband will come around. Like I said he is just scared and I know him well enough to know that he will love the new me just as much as the old one.

Thank you everyone for your support.

[Christie13]

My husband felt I was getting too thin too. Ironically, we dated in HS when I was this small. But he loves me and all is well. He went ahead and started getting healthy himself and has lost 45 lbs. He runs with me and we bought a home gym so we can tone up together. He makes sure I get my protein. He never tries to sabotage me. I know he wouldn't mind if I gained a few more pounds but as long as I am happy so is he. As they say...Happy Wife...Happy Life!! I hope your husband will adapt to the new you. I did joke that my husband was a chubby chaser. All his previous girlfriends from between his ex wife (who is big but wasn't when they married) and when we got together have been beefy. LOL. (I just moved here 3 1/2 years ago to be with him and we married 2 years ago.) He really thinks I wasn't fat. But then I pull out the pics and he recants it. Love is blind dear. He will adjust his vision. He loves you.

[mandyjdc]

I’m not in a relationship , but I’ve heard the change can be threatening for a lot of spouses/significant others. Mostly the fear that the person losing weight will leave them for someone else. I’m sure the change is hard for him, but he’ll ease into things. Good luck!

[Tamera2]

My husband felt I was getting too thin too. Ironically, we dated in HS when I was this small. But he loves me and all is well. He went ahead and started getting healthy himself and has lost 45 lbs. He runs with me and we bought a home gym so we can tone up together. He makes sure I get my protein. He never tries to sabotage me. I know he wouldn't mind if I gained a few more pounds but as long as I am happy so is he. As they say...Happy Wife...Happy Life!! I hope your husband will adapt to the new you. I did joke that my husband was a chubby chaser. All his previous girlfriends from between his ex wife (who is big but wasn't when they married) and when we got together have been beefy. LOL. (I just moved here 3 1/2 years ago to be with him and we married 2 years ago.) He really thinks I wasn't fat. But then I pull out the pics and he recants it. Love is blind dear. He will adjust his vision. He loves you.

Christie, that is awesome that your husband started running with you and that you set up a home gym too. I would love to get my husband working out with me. He needs to loose about 40-50lbs. I’m fortunate that he is very supportive too. Thanks for sharing your story.

[Stacey03]

Oh my husband HATES change. This is huge for him and I know it is his own insecurities talking he has always said I'm to good for him and now that I'm a normal size he is scared.

The main reason I posted what is did is for other people who may find them selves in a similar situation to know they are not alone.

My husband will come around. Like I said he is just scared and I know him well enough to know that he will love the new me just as much as the old one.

Thank you everyone for your support.

Yea, it's tricky business all this change stuff. I'm sure you will sort him out and he will love you being healthier, some peeps just need some time eh xxxx

[Jeanious]

You've done such an amazing job! You're hubby should be so proud of you. Maybe he's feeling a little insecure because with your great bod
other males will be eyeing you off. A lot of guys can't handle that. He'll come around. Your a very beautiful woman.
I too am 5 ft but I'm staring at 247pounds. I can't wait.

[Luv49ers19]

He really thinks I wasn't fat. But then I pull out the pics and he recants it. Love is blind dear. He will adjust his vision. He loves you.

OMG my hubby said the same thing...your not fat. Then I showed him a side by side comparison. He was shocked. He said I never thought you were that big. Love is blind for sure!!!

He will adjust. Like I said it was his insecurities talking. Thank you for you support it means a lot.

[Christie13]

OMG my hubby said the same thing...your not fat. Then I showed him a side by side comparison. He was shocked. He said I never thought you were that big. Love is blind for sure!!!

He will adjust. Like I said it was his insecurities talking. Thank you for you support it means a lot.

Isn’t it funny how they forget how big and unhealthy we actually were. Love is grand. Once my hubby started wanting to get healthy it became much easier. We did a 5K last weekend and it was a blast. On the 3rd we have our first half marathon.

[Luv49ers19]

Isn’t it funny how they forget how big and unhealthy we actually were. Love is grand. Once my hubby started wanting to get healthy it became much easier. We did a 5K last weekend and it was a blast. On the 3rd we have our first half marathon.

That is so AMAZING!!!! I Hope to one day soon enter into a race. I'm not running yet but I love to walk.

Hubby has COPD. He wants to go for walks with me but is super limited. We are working on getting the right combo of meds so he can start to go longer walks. Work in progress.

[cowgirljane]

I am 6 years post op - in my experience, massive weight loss is a headtrip. Mostly for the person losing the weight, but same for others around. I never got to a "low"BMI - at 5'5"my friends were freaking out when I got under 150. When I look at those photos, I looked great, not too thin, but to them - it just wasn't me.

I am not saying they are right, I am simply sharing that it is quite a topic - and then it isn't. Everybody soon forgot how fat I used to be - ha - and no longer saw me as "wasting away