Posting on here so you can see it happens and to say it happens. I went back and forth on posting what has occurred to me. Embarrassed. Humiliated. Angry. Failure. This is far from easy. Those of you who understand will get it a lot more then my family and friends.
Last year I was doing just fine. 160-165 maintaining. Size 10-12. My weight has always been in my gut as I'm an apple shape.
No excuses just life.
I work in healthcare. A Dr. verbally and physically abused me. I reported it. Nothing happened to the Dr. because he is a DOCTOR. That was in September 2016. The hospital investigated and everything I said was proven true. If I had done that to someone I would have been fired immediately and escorted out!!!!! He's a DOCTOR.
After all that went down I became anxious and upset going to work. They kept me out of where he works. Some of my coworkers were not understanding and were assholes to me. AND they were WOMEN!!!!!! And you wonder why Women never report this. I went through hell.
And I started eating garbage. Well I still have a major restriction. And believe me you can still eat crap and gain. A donut here a cookie there. Also we were on mandatory OT at work and I work 12hr nights. I was tired all the time emotionally and physically. Would come home from work and eat a breakfast biscuit and go to bed. No more swimming. On my days off I would sit around a lot. Became where I don't want to leave the house or have visitors. Shut down. And ate junk and sugar for energy. Why? Because I had given up. No cooking. Husband didn't know what to do. And he was angry.
Last fall I tried to get another job in my field. I have 30 years experience but I was 60 and top pay. Was crushed when I didn't get that job. And that shut me down more.
NOW I have found another job with more pay and they NEED someone with experience!! And don't give a damn that I'm 61. New start and of course fear. I feel like a huge weight is gone finally. Am resigning tomorrow and giving two weeks notice. And tonight I weighed myself(first time in ten months) and was horrified. I can fix this and I will. Took my BP and that's up and that's why I had my surgery. I see my Dr next week the first time in a year and I know he will be very upset. My bloodwork needs to be done etc.
So I have always been an emotional eater. That's hard to break and always will be. Stupidly I assumed I had a handle on it and did not. Talked to my therapist on the phone and they said you did what you had to do to cope. Yes I did.
Now I'm back on track. Tomorrow it starts. I want to live and be 160 again and I will.
So that's what happened to me and I am not perfect. Just human. Bless this forum.
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