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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member RRT's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    "Lea" (nickname)
    Surgery date
    06/25/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Treen
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    493
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    Was Thanked 139 Times in 107 Posts
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    Default 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Posting on here so you can see it happens and to say it happens. I went back and forth on posting what has occurred to me. Embarrassed. Humiliated. Angry. Failure. This is far from easy. Those of you who understand will get it a lot more then my family and friends.

    Last year I was doing just fine. 160-165 maintaining. Size 10-12. My weight has always been in my gut as I'm an apple shape.
    No excuses just life.
    I work in healthcare. A Dr. verbally and physically abused me. I reported it. Nothing happened to the Dr. because he is a DOCTOR. That was in September 2016. The hospital investigated and everything I said was proven true. If I had done that to someone I would have been fired immediately and escorted out!!!!! He's a DOCTOR.
    After all that went down I became anxious and upset going to work. They kept me out of where he works. Some of my coworkers were not understanding and were assholes to me. AND they were WOMEN!!!!!! And you wonder why Women never report this. I went through hell.
    And I started eating garbage. Well I still have a major restriction. And believe me you can still eat crap and gain. A donut here a cookie there. Also we were on mandatory OT at work and I work 12hr nights. I was tired all the time emotionally and physically. Would come home from work and eat a breakfast biscuit and go to bed. No more swimming. On my days off I would sit around a lot. Became where I don't want to leave the house or have visitors. Shut down. And ate junk and sugar for energy. Why? Because I had given up. No cooking. Husband didn't know what to do. And he was angry.
    Last fall I tried to get another job in my field. I have 30 years experience but I was 60 and top pay. Was crushed when I didn't get that job. And that shut me down more.

    NOW I have found another job with more pay and they NEED someone with experience!! And don't give a damn that I'm 61. New start and of course fear. I feel like a huge weight is gone finally. Am resigning tomorrow and giving two weeks notice. And tonight I weighed myself(first time in ten months) and was horrified. I can fix this and I will. Took my BP and that's up and that's why I had my surgery. I see my Dr next week the first time in a year and I know he will be very upset. My bloodwork needs to be done etc.

    So I have always been an emotional eater. That's hard to break and always will be. Stupidly I assumed I had a handle on it and did not. Talked to my therapist on the phone and they said you did what you had to do to cope. Yes I did.
    Now I'm back on track. Tomorrow it starts. I want to live and be 160 again and I will.

    So that's what happened to me and I am not perfect. Just human. Bless this forum.
    IT'S BEEN ALMOST TEN YEARS NOW SINCE MY SURGERY. AND IM STILL GOING STRONG!!!!!!


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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Stacey03's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Edie
    Surgery date
    11/07/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr Phil lockie
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    04-27-2019 09:56 AM
    Location
    Australia
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    1,961
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    Blog Entries
    34

    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Hi Lea,
    You've had such a hard year. It's appaulling when doctors are not pulled up for such behaviour,and you are right, so many people don't bother putting in a complaint because of the stress.First of all, good on you for standing up to it. I know how hard that can be (I'm a nurse and midwife).
    Also, add stess to shift work and it gets even harder. It's completely understandable how things toppled.
    How exciting about the new job! It's always fearful going into a new job but before you know it you settle. The very best of luck, you will be fine!Look at ALL the experience you have, you will be a godsend!!!!
    It sounds like things are looking up and you can turn this weight gain around. i bet as you're feeling better and getting back to the swimming and feeling happier at work it will start dropping off.
    Very best wishes Lea and i just want to acknowledge what you have been through re; work place bullying and stress. It's outrageous and I've seen it so often and it's appaulling. You're worth more than that and you know it. Put that resignation in and wave goodbye.


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  5. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member RRT's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    "Lea" (nickname)
    Surgery date
    06/25/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Treen
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    493
    Said "Thanks" 134 Times
    Was Thanked 139 Times in 107 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 1,434 Times

    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Thank you so much Stacey!!!!! You know how it can be at hospital. Never understand how the bullies get away with it. Your post was so uplifting.
    IT'S BEEN ALMOST TEN YEARS NOW SINCE MY SURGERY. AND IM STILL GOING STRONG!!!!!!

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  7. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member DesertGal's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lori
    Surgery date
    03/24/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Teng
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Last Activity
    04-22-2021 12:54 PM
    Location
    Las Vegas, NV
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    825
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    Blog Entries
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    You can do this! A new start and new beginning.

    Height: 5'8"
    Highest Weight: 270 BMI 40.3
    Day of Surgery Weight: 223 / Pre-Op nutrition diet: LOST 47 pounds
    1 Month Weight: 202 (-21 lbs.) TOTAL LOST: 64 pounds
    2 Month: Weight: 188 (-14 lbs.) TOTAL LOST: 78 pounds
    6 Month Weight: 169 (-2) BMI: 25.7 TOTAL LOST: 97 pounds
    "If you can't laugh at yourself, life's going to seem a whole lot longer."

  8. Said thanks:

    RRT

  9. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Stacey03's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Edie
    Surgery date
    11/07/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr Phil lockie
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    04-27-2019 09:56 AM
    Location
    Australia
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    Blog Entries
    34

    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by RRT View Post
    Thank you so much Stacey!!!!! You know how it can be at hospital. Never understand how the bullies get away with it. Your post was so uplifting.
    I just can't bear it Lea and I hate bullies. But now time to put this behind you and gawd your new job are going to love you, like I said experience +++ You're the sort that we snap up! Go get em, this will be your year xxx


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    RRT

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  12. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Lea, I'm not a medical / health care worker. But I second EVERYTHING Stacey says. I know her support must be so good to feel, because she is from your world and has seen first-hand what you endured.

    FYI, in the last few years several people have "come back" to the forum and lost 40 pounds of regain. It doesn't go away as fast as our initial weight loss. But ultimately, it's the healthy lifestyle you return to that will take it off. Your surgeon may also have some good advice about taking off regain. Your blood panel may also show some vitamin and mineral (and possibly other?) deficiencies that you'll need to remediate. Fixing anything like that will also surely improve how you feel physically and mentally.

    You are so strong to have gone out and found a new, better job. It's like a new year at a new school. New classmates, new teachers, new clothes. Kick ass and take names!

    Good to have you back!



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post

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  14. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member Luv49ers19's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Cody
    Surgery date
    05/23/2017
    Surgeon
    Daniel Leslie
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Last Activity
    09-27-2018 08:02 AM
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Wow how horrible! No one should have to go through that. Good for you for getting back on track. You got this! Blessings on your new job!
    Hw: 260
    Sw: 260 10/23/16
    Weight at time of sleeve 209 (-51)
    Sleeve date 5/23/17
    1 month:187 (-22)
    2 month:178 (-9)
    3 month:172 (-6)
    4 month:162 (-10)
    5 month:150 (-12) (10/28/17) 6 month goal!!!!
    6 month: 143 (-7)
    7 month: 136 (-7)
    8 month: 131 (-5) made goal weight 130 (2/8/2017)
    9 month: 125 (-6)
    10 month: 120 (-5)
    11 month: 115 (-5)
    1 year: 114 (-1)
    16 months: 120 (+6)

  15. Said thanks:

    RRT

  16. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Dutchie's Avatar
    Name
    Simonne
    Surgery date
    01/03/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Pablo Enriquez Valens
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Last Activity
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    I also know what it's like in a hospital.
    I've always worked as a X-ray technician.
    I know the ropes and you are so wright about those doctors and their behaviour sometimes.
    Been there, seen that, done that.
    But you took your controls back, faced your demons and started a new life!
    Good for you.
    Loosing the extra weight is something you can do.
    You have proven to be one strong woman!
    Of course you can do this, no doubt in my mind.
    You now may have the peace of mind to do it.
    Go for it.
    English is not my first language anymore, so I may and do make mistakes in my spelling, or say things oddly. Please ask me, if you want any clarifications.



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  18. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member jerzeygirl's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    07/20/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr. Louis Balsama
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Last Activity
    01-22-2020 03:10 PM
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    NJ
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    "Lea", I too started a new career in healthcare 3 years ago at the ripe old age of 65 I work in the local hospital bariatric center and I've seen first-hand how some of the female staff are treated by male doctors, usually the senior ones. It's not pretty to say the least!

    I started a whole new chapter after surgery and getting this job and being accountable not only to myself but to others has been amazing! You go for it and just remember like the song says, "Haters will be haters" and just go on your merry way! Continued success



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  20. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member Stacey03's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Edie
    Surgery date
    11/07/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr Phil lockie
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
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    Location
    Australia
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    PS... I often hear nurses and midwives saying... but I'm over 60.... I'm like AND!!!!! THE EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!!!!! I'd take you over a youngster any day (youngsters are also great) but years of experience in this game is SO significant. I only do a bit of midwifery these days because I went back to uni to broaden some horizons (PR and Communications). Something I am interested in is diversity and inclusion and communications. Wiping out workplace bullying is something that needs some work in healthcare. I'll take down some names! :-) #teamlea


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  22. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christie
    Surgery date
    11/03/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Wright
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    Nov 2016
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Lea I am pissed off for you! I cannot believe you had to go through that and your company did not back you and treated you the way they did. No one should have to go through that. I am so sorry. And yes, it sucks that you gained some weight back. But you are back in the right frame of mind now. You know what you need to do to get back down again. You got this. You are about to embark on a wonderful new journey with your new job. You can leave all the crap of the old one behind you. Wishing you much success on your way back to healthy. Big hugs.

    PS-Unfortunately, for all the talk of empowerment, women are the first to tear other women down. It is truly sad.



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    RRT

  24. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member Stacey03's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Edie
    Surgery date
    11/07/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr Phil lockie
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    04-27-2019 09:56 AM
    Location
    Australia
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    1,961
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    PS-Unfortunately, for all the talk of empowerment, women are the first to tear other women down. It is truly sad.[/QUOTE]

    Aint that the truth.


  25. Said thanks:

    RRT

  26. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member RRT's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    "Lea" (nickname)
    Surgery date
    06/25/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Treen
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    493
    Said "Thanks" 134 Times
    Was Thanked 139 Times in 107 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 1,434 Times

    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Thanks everybody!!!! Your good thoughts/comments are very appreciated!!! Never understood Women tearing down Women at work. Or not sticking up for other Women. Women will never get ahead if we run each other down. Men stick together even if they don't like each other. For me things really haven't changed that much since I graduated from high school in 1974. It's just gone more underground. I remember applying for a job in the 70s and being number 1 on testing etc. that they do for best candidates. They told me to my face they wouldn't hire a Women even though I scored the highest. Now they still do that by finding fault with something ex.on your Resume or some other stupid thing.

    Big hugs back!!!!! I will get through this. So glad we have these forums.
    IT'S BEEN ALMOST TEN YEARS NOW SINCE MY SURGERY. AND IM STILL GOING STRONG!!!!!!

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  28. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member BlueUmbrella's Avatar
    Name
    Sarah
    Surgery date
    10/23/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr Holover
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Last Activity
    01-20-2023 12:17 AM
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    NYC
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Just wanted to chip in with support for all you've been through.
    My mum was horrifically abused by a doctor in the 60s because she was a pregnant teen. She has severe PTSD from this and has struggled all her life to recover from the damage he did to her. She never dared speak up because who would believe a pregnant teenager over a doctor? No one, certainly not back then and it distresses me greatly that it can happen again in this day and age. Just because of the occupation they have, they are still given preferential treatment. It's beyond disgusting. And people wonder why women don't report, look what happens when they do!

    I just want to say, please forgive yourself for gaining weight. What you have been through is huge. HUGE. Love on yourself and go easy, what you've been through is utterly vile and cruel. Give yourself time to properly process everything that has happened and the aftermath of it all. At least you turned to food and not to alcohol! You can undo this and I believe you will lose the weight as you unpack all the pain of this trauma.

    I believe you. I support you. I see you.



  29. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member Gege1061's Avatar
    Name
    Gege
    Surgery date
    11/17/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Peter Rantis
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Last Activity
    04-07-2020 10:55 AM
    Location
    Glen Ellyn Il
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    142
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    Default Re: 4 years out and gained 40. Beyond angry with myself.

    Thank you for sharing. What happened to you is just awful but you can and WILL get back on track. Think about the advice you'd give someone that gained weight back and be kind to yourself. Never too late. All the best.

    Gege



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