So, I am thinking a lot about having this operation. I get excited, scared, nervous, excited again, them I read some of the post on here and see how it changed so many people life’s and almost always for the better. I guess what frighten me the most is the "what ifs". What if I get a leak, what if I have a major issue? I know that these are far and few between, but I would be lying if I didn't say they across my mind from time to time. I want to be around for my kids and family for as long as I can, and there is a part of me that what to be the guy that people look at an say wow look at him. But my health and family are the driving factors here foremost.
I think it hit me yesterday, when I saw my son 18 yr old son with FIVE piece of Banana Bread. I looked at him and said. "What are you doing? He looked at me and said what they are small, Ryan do you really think you need that much? I have been open and honest with you about what am about to do, because of my health and waiting to be around for you and your sister. Do you want to be my size some day? No, then please put some of that back." I felt bad for a moment like I was scolding him, but am just looking out for his best interest.
I don’t know maybe am just having one of those days. Yes, ladies guys have those days too. I know some guys won’t admit to it, but we do and I am secure enough to admit it.
I think part of it is the waiting that's getting to me. I knew going into this that it was not going to be an overnight thing. Just seems that time is dragging with this part of my life.
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