New Here!

[cmh89]

Hi everyone! I am getting sleeved on November 9th. I am so excited for this new journey!

I could use some advice on how you guys broke the news to people that you sleeved your stomach? So far only my husband and BFF and mother know. My husband and BFF are super supportive and are happy for me, but my mother was upset! Now I'm afraid to tell anyone else. I really don't wanna feel judged.

[gopostal24]

Welcome and buckle in for a ride of a lifetime! In answer to your question, I did not tell a lot of people, because it is not their business what I do, really. It took me a long time to come to terms with getting sleeved (on August 22) and several people I told were VERY judgey. A couple of my closest friends and family who I told (about 5) mostly kept their opinions to themselves (or tried to, but I could feel a fair amount of negativity), and now they are beginning to see the results and are much more supportive. For people I didn't tell, they ask if I am losing weight and I say yes I am, thank them, and let it be. I don't necessarily believe it is important to "break the news" to anyone. Just enjoy it as a wonderful gift you gave to yourself.

[Ann2]

I told only my husband and two friends (who don't live nearby). Didn't tell any other relatives, clients, work colleagues, or friends.

There's no obligation to tell anyone. If you're afraid of being judged, why share your medical issues and decisions at all?

[Luna354]

I told my husband and one friend. I recently told 1 other person because she was going for surgery. I told my brother 1 month after I was sleeved. That's it. 4 people total know. I didn't want to hear any comments positive or negative.

[RehabNurse]

Only three people knew of my plans to be sleeved: my parents and best friend. All three were mostly supportive.

My friend didn't realize I hadn't told other people about my sleeve, so she accidentally told a few of our coworkers about it. She was shocked at the negative energy and comments: "She lied! "She took the easy way out!"

The same friend was sleeved one year later and informed our manager for the purpose of requesting time off work. Our manager snidely remarked, "I'm sick of all these people getting the sleeve for cosmetic reasons."

Both my friend and I had a laundry list of health problems related to our obesity. It angered my friend that our manager would make this comment while knowing nothing of our health histories.

The point is this: you don't owe anything to anyone. You aren't obligated to tell anyone about your surgery.

[Riz_1]

hi Cmh,

Ultimately its you life, you are one who has to live with the issues with being overweight, and you are the one who will feel the benefits after !, for me my parents are old school and won't understand my decision, so I'm gonna tell them after !

Riz

[sraebaer]

Looking back, I shouldn't have told anyone except my husband. The few good friends I told "tattled." I really wanted to keep it to myself. One friend told how someone she knew lost all her weight and gained it all back. That kind of support is unneeded.

[cmh89]

Sreabaer- that is exactly what my mother said! It doesn't work you'll just gain it back! I was like wow thanks mom. Now i'm foot shy and want no one to know.

[Christie13]

The journey and decision are yours. No one else NEEDS to know unless you want them to. I am almost a year post op and the only people who know are my husband, kids, dad, sister, and 4 close friends. No one else knows. And they all have raved about my transformation. Truth is, too many people are judgmental. So it is easier to not tell anyone that you don't feel 100% confident will support you. It is not too hard to hide it. I told the others I was on a low carb diet with portion control and exercising. No one has asked me if I had surgery. So either they don't suspect or don't have the balls to ask me. Either way, not their business. And the farther that you are out from surgery, it is easier to look normal and not like a mousey eater. I just spent a weekend in Nashville with friends from HS. Eating and drinking and no one was none the wiser.

[cmh89]

I mostly afraid people will think that I'm sick or something.

I weighed in today at 212 that's the heaviest I've ever been (not pregnant.)

I really want this because I know its a tool that will help me achieve my goals!

I want my Three kids and Husband to have me around and I deserve to be the healthiest and happiest I can be!

[Gvn71]

I tell everyone who asks....

Just got sick of the "are you sick?" and "do you have cancer?" questions....

If it's someone I don't know, or someone who hasn't seen me in 5 years, I tell them I quit eating and replaced it with exercise. Otherwise I tell them I had surgery. I did it for my kids (I had diabetes, HBP, sleep apnea, etc, etc) and I wasn't going to be around to see them grow up if I didn't make a change.

Most people are very supportive. Some are not, but I figure I don't need the unsupportive people in my life anyway. Having too much fun in my new body to spend time with negative people.

Hope this helps.

[ghost_ryder]

I told everyone who would listen. I did not care what others thought. Interesting thought from a podcast I listened to last week, "we shame fat people for being fat, then we shame those shame people who make a very difficult decision to try and change themselves for the better by saying they took the easy way out." If we, the people going through this, are vocal about how hard and how much effort is required to be successful then maybe we can change the shaming around the whole subject.

Live your life as you need but if you don't want to tell people, tell the ones who ask that you are on a meal plan that reduces sugar and carbs but also controlling portion sizes. In truth, that is really all you are doing.