Is regain inevitable?

[RehabNurse]

I was super strict until the end of July, then all hell broke loose.

I'm gaining. But I'm not eating properly or drinking enough.

It's nice to see you back on the forums, Pam. I was worried about you due to the inclement weather season since you live in the direct path of Hurricane Harvey.

[Dutchie]

I was super strict until the end of July, then all hell broke loose.

I'm gaining. But I'm not eating properly or drinking enough.

Do you mind telling why that was Pam?
Were you bored with what you were doing, or did you feel you were too strict in your regime?
Please don't feel pressured into telling if you don't want to, but I am genuinely interested.

[Pam G]

I never got my head straight. I lost the weight, but didn't do anything to my mind in order to maintain it. Old habits creeping in. The desire to constantly eat came back. The thinking that I can just eat a "little bit" and be ok (no such thing as a "little bit" in my world). The fact that I still overeat, even though it hurts.

Do you mind telling why that was Pam?
Were you bored with what you were doing, or did you feel you were too strict in your regime?
Please don't feel pressured into telling if you don't want to, but I am genuinely interested.

[Merry Mary]

I don't think regain is inevitable. Plenty of folks on this forum lost their excess weight and kept it off. For me it was changing my way of thinking about food and being active. It's been three years and I don't think I've ever had a meal without at least 15 grams of protein. Prior to surgery I would eat pasta almost daily with minimal protein and plenty of other junk food. Everyone is different and once you find a plan that works for you and you can live with, you'll do great.

[Ann2]

Thank you!
I do understand that this is your menu after so many years out, but it was for me just to get an overall idea.
I don't say I will never go back to eating this like wholeweat bread or other things, but for now this is what works for me.
I am now in the process of adding foods very gradually.
First I want to focus on veggies, fruit, legumes, things like that.
Maybe, over time, when I maintain my weight, I will start to add other things.
But slowly, very slowly.
Like I said, I don't mind the disciplin.
It suits me well and it suits my needs.

It is just that I have gone down this road many, many times before and stumbled every time.
I am determined to change that.
I am not going to stumble again.
Results from the past are no guarantee for the future.

I read, do research, learn and ask for peoples opinions.
Based on all that I make a plan.
If that plan does not work, I make adjustments.
But I usually go my way and walk my path.
Maybe that is what's bugging some people, I don't know.
I am not too stubborn to change my course, if needed.
But I don't take things at face value.
I can make my own mistakes, I make plenty, but I do learn from that.

The reason I let the opinions of others get to me so much this time, is fear of failure, I guess.
Fear, based on the fact I have never succeeded in this.
They are the veterans, the should have the knowledge.
And truth be said: one of them is maintaining very well, for 4 years now.

I am very glad to have come here, with this question.
I learned a lot!
You all have convinced me, that regain is NOT inevitable.
I'll just go on doing what I do and follow MY plan.
No need to change that.
I'll see where it brings me.
But it is clear to me now, that I will not listen to people, who tell me I can't do it (maintain the weight I want to) and that I will regain.
They are wrong.
Thank you!!

I think this sounds PARFAIT!

[sraebaer]

Another thing that keeps us accountable? This site! I know I've been here for over 4 years. The people who are gaining have probably quit visiting this site. Like I remember this young teenaged girl who was here forever (Becca maybe?), and then after she had her surgery, "poof," she was never heard from again. I've always wondered how she's doing.

For me it's also my monthly hospital support group. My hospital even has a private Facebook page that's fun. When I asked my nutritionist about how often regain occurs, she said she isn't really sure, as some people just "disappear." They stop coming to appointments, support group, etc. She assumes they are the ones who are gaining.

Somehow this continual support keeps a healthy lifestyle "fresh in my mind." Or maybe better said IN MY FACE!

[Dutchie]

That is so true!
I don't have a support group from the hospital, where I had my surgery.
I'm a member of a few forums, like this one, where I can get tons of useful information.

I've come to realise, that not all nutricionists, dieticians and even some docters really know, what they are talking about.
I find the info I get here is way more educational than I have seen at other forums.
Thank you all for that!

I am only nine months out, so I can only tell someone else about the first nine months.
Like Tinman always point out, I have no clue yet of what lies ahead, so I can't talk about that.
At the Dutch forum I notice that newby's look at me like I look at RehabNurse, Tinman, sraebaer and Ann2.
Which is flattering, of course, but not very helpful in my own proces right now.
And there are some veterans, who tell me, that my eating habits are no good.
And that I will regain.

I don't worry about that anymore, thanks to you all.
I'll do fine.
I'll just keep on being strict in my routine, which is no real effort, because it suits me.
I feel so good right now, mentally and physically.
I have a new life.
And yes, that is hard work, but who cares?
I am healthier than I have been in the last decades.
And I think I look good too. :-)
I'll post two photo's.
Find the differences... :-)
I am very happy, and feel good about my life.

The first one is my (the yellow blob) at my heaviest (240-ish), both the other ladies in this photo also had wls since.

IMG_1305a.jpg

The second one was taken a couple of weeks ago, at a wedding anniversery.
I am 120.5 lbs here.

20170916_211929.jpg

[Ann2]

Good Lord, Dutch! The differences are amazing. You really have done well.

And yes -- the world is full of people who think the other 7.5 billion people on Planet Earth are exactly like them. LOL!

The most important rule that applies in maintenance is this one: If what you're doing isn't working for you, stop doing that and try something else, and keep changing things up until you find something that DOES work for you.

And of course, as applies to the rest of life, don't be stupid.

[Dutchie]

The most important rule that applies in maintenance is this one: If what you're doing isn't working for you, stop doing that and try something else, and keep changing things up until you find something that DOES work for you.

And of course, as applies to the rest of life, don't be stupid.

And that first part, that is a gem!
And as for the second part: LOL

[sraebaer]

That is so true!
I don't have a support group from the hospital, where I had my surgery.
I'm a member of a few forums, like this one, where I can get tons of useful information.

I've come to realise, that not all nutricionists, dieticians and even some docters really know, what they are talking about.
I find the info I get here is way more educational than I have seen at other forums.
Thank you all for that!

I am only nine months out, so I can only tell someone else about the first nine months.
Like Tinman always point out, I have no clue yet of what lies ahead, so I can't talk about that.
At the Dutch forum I notice that newby's look at me like I look at RehabNurse, Tinman, sraebaer and Ann2.
Which is flattering, of course, but not very helpful in my own proces right now.
And there are some veterans, who tell me, that my eating habits are no good.
And that I will regain.

I don't worry about that anymore, thanks to you all.
I'll do fine.
I'll just keep on being strict in my routine, which is no real effort, because it suits me.
I feel so good right now, mentally and physically.
I have a new life.
And yes, that is hard work, but who cares?
I am healthier than I have been in the last decades.
And I think I look good too. :-)
I'll post two photo's.
Find the differences... :-)
I am very happy, and feel good about my life.

The first one is my (the yellow blob) at my heaviest (240-ish), both the other ladies in this photo also had wls since.

IMG_1305a.jpg

The second one was taken a couple of weeks ago, at a wedding anniversery.
I am 120.5 lbs here.

20170916_211929.jpg

Wow! You look amazing! Whatever you are doing is definitely working for you, keep it up.

[Pam G]

Another thing that I think might contribute to regain: I havent felt all the "feels" that other people talk about. Like sraeber talks about her new clothes...clothing has never a motivator for me. Or any other "feeling". I dont think Im happier. Nothing in my life has changed other than my weight.

the one thing that is better, and I know its better. Is my blood pressure and lipds.

I never got my head straight. I lost the weight, but didn't do anything to my mind in order to maintain it. Old habits creeping in. The desire to constantly eat came back. The thinking that I can just eat a "little bit" and be ok (no such thing as a "little bit" in my world). The fact that I still overeat, even though it hurts.

[Dutchie]

That must be difficult Pam, not to have a incentive of some sort.
Then it comes down to sheer willpower, I guess.

If nothing else, for me a huge incentive is looking at old, never flattering, photo's.
I never want to go back tot the way I looked, ever!

And my diabetes is under control now, but I don't "feel" that.
What I do feel, is that I have no more back pain and pain in my joints.
Also my COPD is very much improved, so I have a lot more oxygen these days.
I can feel that.
I don't want to go back to my "old" me.

Thanks for the compliments!