Telling family

[azladyrider]

I told close friends prior to the surgery then afterwards as I started to lose weight and people started to notice I told them I have WLS. A close friend was sitting next to me one nite at an event and asked me why I told people so freely and I said it was mainly because if the people that did know were sitting there listening to me lie and say I had started to eat healthy and workout etc I'd feel like a fraud. I never opened up about it on Facebook but one time I made a comment on someone's post referring to the surgery and 7 people contacted me asking about the procedure. Most of them have all had it done now.

[GregD]

I have only told a few people about my upcoming surgery including my mother who was afraid I was going to die from it She always likes to jump to the worst case scenario and dwell on it however she quickly got over it and is now supportive of it. I am about 3 weeks away from my surgery and I am trying to decide if I want to keep the group of people I tell to a select few or just publicly post it and my progress.

The older I get the less I care about if people agree with me or who are critical of what I do (grumpy old man syndrome) I know that the friends and family with whom you can be honest with are the ones worth having in your life.

However, I will admit that I don't like sharing! I hate it! I don't like writing this post but I am working on expanding my internal borders rather my expanding waistline. So why would I ever consider posting this publicly? It was other people's stories that I found the most inspirational whether it was their successes or their failures, from their tips on dieting, problems with plateaus to flabby skin, or even how do deal with telling people such as in this post. It was not from news articles or marketing campaigns that were the deciding factors to have this surgery but rather the people who were brave enough to publicly talk about their journey. If my story can help others then I want to be one of those inspirational stories to return the favor that others have given me.

Also, people like to talk. Even if you keep it down to a few it will eventually leak out to your network of friends and family. People are going to judge you regardless of what you do. I am taking pride in the fact that I am actively doing something about my weight problem.

Greg

[Annette7]

I have only told a hand full of people also and they have strict orders not to tell anyone. The only ones I have told have all been supportive too. My surgery is Nov 13.

[Cale]

I only told my sister and nephew and his finance. As for everyone else who knew I was having some kind of surgery, I just told them I was having a partial gastronomy. A gastric sleeve is actually a partial gastrectomy, so it's not a lie. I've had a bunch of ulcers. It's a common operation for people with ulcer problems and will likely help me in that regard anyway. No one seems to question it.

Also I must say that while I've lost over 100 pounds on my own before, the primary reason I went the sleeve rout this time is simply because I can never pig out again. Most people with sleeves never gain more than 1/3 of their weight back, so even if I gain as much back as that, it will still be a major victory.

[Christie13]

I only told my sister and nephew and his finance. As for everyone else who knew I was having some kind of surgery, I just told them I was having a partial gastronomy. A gastric sleeve is actually a partial gastrectomy, so it's not a lie. I've had a bunch of ulcers. It's a common operation for people with ulcer problems and will likely help me in that regard anyway. No one seems to question it.

Also I must say that while I've lost over 100 pounds on my own before, the primary reason I went the sleeve rout this time is simply because I can never pig out again. Most people with sleeves never gain more than 1/3 of their weight back, so even if I gain as much back as that, it will still be a major victory.

Yup. Besides the people I told about my WLS, the others I told I was having surgery for my hernia and ulcer. No one even questioned it.

[Tamera2]

I only told my sister and nephew and his finance. As for everyone else who knew I was having some kind of surgery, I just told them I was having a partial gastronomy. A gastric sleeve is actually a partial gastrectomy, so it's not a lie. I've had a bunch of ulcers. It's a common operation for people with ulcer problems and will likely help me in that regard anyway. No one seems to question it.

Also I must say that while I've lost over 100 pounds on my own before, the primary reason I went the sleeve rout this time is simply because I can never pig out again. Most people with sleeves never gain more than 1/3 of their weight back, so even if I gain as much back as that, it will still be a major victory.

The Gastric Sleeve is not treatment for reflux or hernia. The common procedure for that is called Nissan Fundoplication. It’s wear they close the valve to your stomach. That valve stays open allowing stomach acid to come up. I had that years ago.

[Cale]

The Gastric Sleeve is not treatment for reflux or hernia.

What I said was that a partial gastrectomy was a treatment for a badly ulcerated stomach, and it is. Admittedly, while it used to be a common procedure, today they only do it in rare cases. At any rate, a gastric sleeve is in fact a partial gastrectomy, so telling someone you had a partial gastrectomy is not a lie. If they ask why, tell them what you want. I just told people I had a bad stomach and a bunch of ulcers over the years, and I did. In my case, I had at least three bleeding ulcers within a month of this surgery. All are gone now to the best of my knowledge.

[Cale]

No one even questioned it.

Same here. People have partial gastrectomies every day. No one seems to think twice about it if you tell them you had one.

[Stacey03]

I wondered about this question and my main concern was that I have a lower BMI than most people would think that people have weight loss surgery at. But i did used to 40 kilos heavier... anyway long story. Ive told my family and 3 best friends and have had all the support in the world. They think its ace but they are all really sound people. To be honest thats the kind of people I hang out with. But who knows, i may come across an aquantance one day and have a more negative reaction. I don't care a bit though. I'm not going to announce it but I will be honest if someone asks me. See i dont want people to think its just diet and exercise. Because its not and ive been doing that for 4 years and it hasnt worked utimatly. Obesity isnt really understood.Part of me wants people to understand that. Like I say, I only hang out with sound people anyway :-)
I think its a really personal thing though and up to the individual. It is a shame its looked on so negativly by some people. I mean gawd, look at the wonderful sucess stories on here. Dont take any notice of anyone, this is for you.

[Cale]

I mean gawd, look at the wonderful sucess stories on here.

I hate to say this, but I often wonder just how many there really are and what the measure of success is. I've seen one YouTube channel after another by people who have had this surgery where they document their weight loss for a year or so, seem to be doing good, and suddenly they stop posting videos and we never hear from them again. Maybe they never reached their goal weight and were embarrassed. Maybe they gained a bunch back. Maybe that last bit of weight is just taking forever to lose and they'll eventually get there and post another video. Maybe they're dead or incapacitated. God only knows. People leave messages on their channel: "Are you okay?" "Please post some more videos so we'll know how you're doing." And they never answer back. This is even more true with those who have had skin removal surgery. They might post one or two videos post-op and then are never seen or heard from again. It's a little unnerving to be honest.

[Stacey03]

I hate to say this, but I often wonder just how many there really are and what the measure of success is. I've seen one YouTube channel after another by people who have had this surgery where they document their weight loss for a year or so, seem to be doing good, and suddenly they stop posting videos and we never hear from them again. Maybe they never reached their goal weight and were embarrassed. Maybe they gained a bunch back. Maybe that last bit of weight is just taking forever to lose and they'll eventually get there and post another video. Maybe they're dead or incapacitated. God only knows. People leave messages on their channel: "Are you okay?" "Please post some more videos so we'll know how you're doing." And they never answer back. This is even more true with those who have had skin removal surgery. They might post one or two videos post-op and then are never seen or heard from again. It's a little unnerving to be honest.

Well I think that people often come on forums like this when they are in the thick of it. Its nice for support and info and then eventually they just get on with the rest of their lives. There is likely a heap of people around who have been successful but just dont come on anymore. And there is also maybe the people who have not had so much luck. I guess we will never know. I mean of course its about keeping up a healthy lifestyle and exercise etc and that could be difficult for people who have never done that before. There are heaps of considerations i guess. Ive known quite a few people who have done really well long term, like 8 years + but they really changed their whole lives, they regularly exercise.
Also something else that i found interesting was a video i watched where the doctor said feelings of hunger are because you need an antacid and that can happen months and years out. Acourse of antacids fixes it. Have you heard of that? I thought that was interesting as it may stop someone overeating for no reason... but I aint no expert, its just what the doc on the video said.
How are you doing with your sleeve Cale?

[Cale]

Interesting about the antacids. I had at least 2 or 3 bleeding ulcers a month before surgery. My bariatric doc put me on Nexium, but I think he does that with all his patients because, in the booklet they give to all of us, it says to use Nexium for 6-months after the surgery too. It doesn't say anything about it preventing hunger, but if that's a happy side effect, I'm all for it!

I still get hungry but nothing I can't handle. My weight loss slowed a lot when I started eating soft foods. I've only dropped about 20 pounds post-op so far, which will be 28 days this Thursday. I can't walk much because of the arthritis in my back. It's starting to feel better and better though with every ten pounds I lose. (More than 40-pounds altogether now including the pre-op diet.) Once I drop another 30 or 40 I should be able to walk nearly normal again. Until then, swimming is about all I can do, and I can't do that until my doc gives me the all clear to get in the pool. The scabs are gone from my surgery wounds now, so I'm hoping when I see him Thursday that he'll say I can start going to the pool again. My goal was to lose a pound per day, but it's hard to do that when you aren't really exercising. Walking a few laps in the basement every couple of hours isn't going to cut it. I'm ready to swim!

[Stacey03]

Interesting about the antacids. I had at least 2 or 3 bleeding ulcers a month before surgery. My bariatric doc put me on Nexium, but I think he does that with all his patients because, in the booklet they give to all of us, it says to use Nexium for 6-months after the surgery too. It doesn't say anything about it preventing hunger, but if that's a happy side effect, I'm all for it!

I still get hungry but nothing I can't handle. My weight loss slowed a lot when I started eating soft foods. I've only dropped about 20 pounds post-op so far, which will be 28 days this Thursday. I can't walk much because of the arthritis in my back. It's starting to feel better and better though with every ten pounds I lose. (More than 40-pounds altogether now including the pre-op diet.) Once I drop another 30 or 40 I should be able to walk nearly normal again. Until then, swimming is about all I can do, and I can't do that until my doc gives me the all clear to get in the pool. The scabs are gone from my surgery wounds now, so I'm hoping when I see him Thursday that he'll say I can start going to the pool again. My goal was to lose a pound per day, but it's hard to do that when you aren't really exercising. Walking a few laps in the basement every couple of hours isn't going to cut it. I'm ready to swim!

I reckon things are just going to get better and better for you Cale. Swimming is so good, I like to swim in the ocean but I'm terrified of the sharks and stingers here so dont get in too often :-)

[Cale]

Yeah, I'll stick to the pool too.

[Fatbgone]

I didn't tell my family. I did not think they would be supportive. I don't need negativity in my life. I'm good enough at that myself.
As you can tell from everyone's post, people don't get it and they are judgmental. Have the surgery and you'll be thrilled.
You can get support here. We know what you are going through and we know how much this surgery is going to change your life.

Life is good!
April