4 Days till Surgery and feeling HOPELESS

[Scuba Princess]

Today caught me off guard. It started when I went to the hospital to do pre-registration. I was just feeling emotional about the surgery. I am not scared of surgery- have never been. And I am the type of person that knows I can generally do anything I put my mind too. Ive been on Cloud 9 lately waiting for surgery day and my whole life to change... to get off this diet roller coaster. So thats why I was surprised when I felt emotional although I couldnt put my finger on why. Perhaps its that I am ashamed I even allowed my body to get to the point where surgery is the last resort.

Anyway, then I came home and started to read this highly recommended book, "The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery". I spiralled from there. It talked alot about the things we need to be aware of in dieting- not letting non-diet foods in the house, asking family to be supportive and not eat around you if it triggers you, making plans so you dont cheat at a movie or party. This sounded alot to me like the roller-coasters I was trying to get off of!! It said that I should not eat ANY non-diet food until after I reach my goal weight. Thats at least a year away (or more!) and that is precisely why I wanted to get off the diet rollercoaster.... because to me, that doesnt feel realistic, to deprive yourself completely for that long. Maybe I was completely mistaken on what diet will consist of after surgery- so thats why I am here- for some real answers so I know how to set my expectations. What I thought my diet would be is that proteins and water are my top priority. In the beginning it will be hard to get enough of those in. When I can fit more food in, I will eat healthy, still making nurishing food my priority and since the stomach will be so small, thats really all I will get in there for a long time. I did, however, think that if I wanted to take a nibble (a true nibble only) of something non-diet related during my first year, it would be ok to do occasionally (and I do mean occasionally) because we are already eating such few calories, fat, etc generally. If it turns out this is true, and I cant eat non-diet food until after I reach my goal weight, I just need to know so I can set my expectations correctly.

So my question is- why is this diet or method any different than the other 50 diets we have all done? What is the sleeve going to do for me this time that those diets didnt do? I had the same motivation and passion throughout those diets, but gained it back or quit before my year was up. Why will this time be different? So many of you say this has changed your lives and you dont regret it for a minute. So maybe you can answer this for me. Because I know all of you did the diet roller-coaster beforehand too. Why was this time different for you? Thanks in advance.

[Sandra3]

Getting a sleeve is not a new diet. It's a new life for your stomach and your way for a better health.

To make it short, I would say that the main difference between a diet and the sleeve is that when we lose weight, our body does make more hormones that make us more hungry. With the sleeve, the ghrelin will be diminished for a few months. It's not gone for ever, and I could feel it come back more around 9 months out, but thanks to the restriction of my sleeve I was never able to eat as much as before surgery. So the sleeve does help on the long run.

After you liquid diet post-op you start from eating 1/2 cup for six month per meal, to may be one cup around one year and around half a plate after. This is a great restriction!
If you focus on very good nutritious food, eat your protein first (takes longer to digest) you will be successful.

I'm almost 18 months out and so far was never able to lose that much with just diet alone. I went through a 12 months strict diet a few years ago, it did drive me crazy, I was starving and eating almost nothing, went back to "normal eating" and regained 2/3 of the weight lost in just a few weeks.

This time I can see it's very different. It's a new life for my stomach, and also a great improvement of my health. Simply amazing!
I only wished I could have done it sooner, but so far have no other regrets!

Good luck for your surgery! take care!

[Shirl]

You have valid questions and ones that should have been asked/answered either on your first appointment with your NUT or surgeon. But I am so glad you are asking them still!

For me, no amount of dieting methodology was ever sustainable. Prior to my last regain due to a gallbladder attack and surgery, I was on a raw food diet, meaning 80% of my good source was raw and mostly vegetables. I loved st over 50lbs in about a year and I had maintained it off almost two years when I suffered the gallbladder attack. I was told that the excess kale and spinach i was consuming caused the stones. Btw, i just did not have one or two stones moving... I had over 60 tiny pea size stones in my gallbladder. I have the pics to show! Needs less to say by a year out I had regain with a vengeance. I was still maintaining a 80% vegetarian diet. But it took me over six months to even to a sit up without pain, so exercising was non existent except walking.

About 80% of Your stomach will be cut off, so not only will it be smaller (hence focus on nutrient rich foods) BUT your stomach nerves will need time to heal and reconnect. So at least for the first three months follow your food stages as recommended. And it sounds like you are aware of that.

As to your food choices, well it almost sounds like you have emotional attachment to certain foods and if that is the case then no amount of surgery will not help you lose and or maintain a healthy weight.

I made a conscious decision with eyes wide open to go through WLS because getting my health back on track was important! I had Type2 Diabetes, high cholesterol and at high risk for cardiovascular disease. And I knew/know that I had to give up the foods that got me to be almost 245lbs and with metabolic diseases.

I sought cognitive therapy to help me overcome my food compulsion and addiction. My therapist has helped me develop stress skills so I can make better choices when life gets tough! Because I can be a perfect little WLS most of the time when everything is alrigh' but as soon as crap happens i am vulnerable.

I am going on 14 months post op, and I eat anything I want, but I can tell you that it has been through ongoing daily work that I have learned moderation. There are things I keep in my "crack" list because it still causes me to eat more than necessary. I maybe able to handle a serving of chips or ice-cream under normal circumstances but if they are around me if while I am under duress I will eat mindlessly.

So the difference to me is two fold, I am constantly aware that my stomach has been cut and stapled and there is nothing delicious enough to make me want to jeopardize my healing, the other part is that there is a limit of how much I can eat, and actually malnutrition is something we may be at risk in the long run, but importantly is that if I eat one tiny spoonful more than the capacity of my newly Sleeve stomach it will feel the worst! So I have no room for junk food or nutrient void food.

I'm deeply satisfied with my current food choices and I do not ever feel deprived. Honestly.

[RehabNurse]

Personally, I am not on a diet. Many of us reached the point of obesity precisely because we did a poor job of adhering to various diet plans for the long term. 'Dieting' is not sustainable, so I will not go on another diet again.

I mostly eat what I want without counting calories, weighing food, tracking intake, or measuring. However, I've adopted a very physically active lifestyle that enables me to maintain a body weight of 118 to 120 pounds on more than 2000 calories a day, so I may have more wiggle room with my food choices than others.

Most bariatric surgeons do their patients a disservice by not mentioning sliders (read: crackers, chips, pretzels, popcorn, cookies, etc). These foods turn into a liquid slurry after you chew them. They 'slide' past your stomach and into your small intestine without ever providing that important sense of fullness or satiety, so you can eat unlimited amounts.

Sliders, a.k.a. slurry foods, are the root of most regain in the bariatric surgery population. Nobody regains on a diet of non-starchy veggies and lean meats. However, people regain on mashed potatoes, biscuits, macaroni & cheese, and all those tasty starch-laden comfort foods because they're easy to overeat.

Good luck to you.

[azladyrider]

I agree with others - if I wanted to be on a diet for the rest of my life I wouldn't have chosen to have surgery. I eat pretty healthy 80 percent of the time but also if I want a cookie I have a cookie, if I want a slice of pizza I have one... I just don't go overboard. The one thing I do consciously stay away from is soda.

[GigiUSA]

I am newly sleeved and felt this was the right choice for me. I needed a dramatic change in my life and was ready to get this unwanted weight off.

Success to you (hugs)

[Lisa73me]

I wouldn't take everything in that book as gospel, it makes it much easier to lose weight and harder to gain it back. Also, studies show that you will lose about 70% of your excess weight and keep it off without too much effort. This is due to hormonal changes from surgery and the removal of the gland that produces the a hormone that makes you hungry. A sleeve is a tool, not a fix, but I do not believe you are making a mistake or will regret your decision to have surgery. I eat a little stuff (because I can only eat a little bit) that I'm not supposed to eat and I can't even tell I ate it. I don't do it everyday all day though and I just lost another 2 pounds. I just don't eat after around 4:00 pm except maybe a little halo top (diet ice cream) and this works for me. You will have to find what works for you after surgery. Don't sweat it so much! Things are going to change a little, not that much, but the changes will be for the better! Good luck! Prayers and hugs!

[Scuba Princess]

So interesting about the slider foods. I have not heard of that and it's so good to know. I will stay away from all that!

[Scuba Princess]

Thank you all so much. Hearing your real life experience has definitely calmed me down. I am so ready for this life change!!

[Tommy1969]

I do not believe having this surgery is a "diet". It is a life long commitment. I am still a newbie (only 5 months out) and in my experience you will naturally select better foods because you can only eat so much. Who wants to waste it on "crap" food. I would not classify the foods I eat now as "diet foods" but rather healthier foods 90% of the time. I'd be a liar if I didn't tell you I had a small slice of pizza from a small pizza from time to time but not a whole large pizza like my pre-op self would have, or a small slice of German chocolate cake on my birthday instead of a half of cake and ice cream on my pre-op birthdays of past. Just don't beat yourself up if you do it but get right back on track with the protein and water.

In my experience you need to find out what works for you. A common theme I hear and have experienced is to be sure to get in the required protein, water and vitamins.

It's actually a fun process and you will have ups and downs as I am sure all of us have but making this commitment to surgery is for life, the long run, not a short term fix or fad diet. I wish you the best with your journey.

This website is a great source of information, encouragement and motivation.

Good luck on Friday!!

[Linda51]

Scuba Princess,

Thank you so much for your question. Tomorrow is my surgery day and I'm feeling that I need all the information I can get right now. I value all of the answers to your question that have been posted above. Good luck on Friday and continued success.

[Scuba Princess]

Good luck tomorrow!!!!

[Gvn71]

Don't feel hopeless! Get ready to make and experience some major changes in your life. You are in the driver's seat on this one, and you alone can control it. Get some help from support groups, try new things to conquer this issue in your life.

I struggle regularly with my psychological desire to eat, and I know that it will only get harder as I get further from my surgery date, but I just take it one day at a time and try to remind myself that I need to Eat to Live, not Live to Eat. Also, being able to exercise and physically do things without the risk of collapse and exhaustion helps to substitute the need to eat.

Hope this helps!

Remember, its a wild ride, but it is totally worth it (my personal perspective)!

[Ann2]

To all pre-ops considering the sleeve ...

Yes, the sleeve is a great tool. It tremendously lowers the anount of ghrelin (the hunger hormone) produced by your body for a long time. And yes, it greatly reduces your restriction for a long time, too, although your restriction will decrease as time goes along, depending on what and when and how you're eating.

But here are some more facts about those who have WLS:

At least half of those who have WLS regain between 50% -100% of the weight they lose after WLS. Why? Because they never change the way they eat. They keep eating a lot of unnutritious food, slider foods, and sugar drinks. They drink with their meals, which greatly lowers the sleeve's restrictive capability. They graze all day on foods that the sleeve was never meant to slow down. They either had no instructions about the new ways they must eat for the rest of their lives or they just ignore those rules.

Yes, there are rules you need to know and to follow. And yes, there is a "honeymoon phase" after WLS -- 6-12 months, during which you can lose weight faster than you can later on. This is a time during which any smart person would stay away from any foods that retard their weight loss.

And then when you reach your goal (if you do reach your goal) you get to figure out how you can maintain your weight. This is a bit individual for everyone, but it's got its own set of even more complicated factors. If you're like Rehab Nurse and run 25 miles a week, maybe you can eat everything you want. But if your activity level is a lot less than that, then no, you can't. If you're not particularly carb-sensitive you can have occasional or even daily treats. But if your body won't tolerate many carbs or if a biscotti or a square of chocolate are trigger foods for you then, no, you can't eat those very often at all -- maybe never.

There are no guarantees with the sleeve, except to say that you have to go into this with great commitment and a willingness to take responsibility for how YOUR BODY and YOUR BRAIN respond to food. And if you have emotional eating or binge eating issues you will very likely need to start seeing a therapist to seek support for learning new ways of interacting with food.

I'm not trying to be a downer here. But having WLS and hoping your weight troubles will be over after that is just not how it works. Your real work is about to begin. Chances are you will have to find new ways of dealing with stresses in your life, re-evaluate how you interact with those closest to you, and discover perhaps for the first time in your life what it truly means to care for yourself. I say this because I had WLS 3 years ago. And all of this has been important to my ongoing recovery from obesity.

I will add only one thing: It has ABSOLUTELY been worth it!

[Gvn71]

I'm not trying to be a downer here. But having WLS and hoping your weight troubles will be over after that is just not how it works. Your real work is about to begin. Chances are you will have to find new ways of dealing with stresses in your life, re-evaluate how you interact with those closest to you, and discover perhaps for the first time in your life what it truly means to care for yourself. I say this because I had WLS 3 years ago. And all of this has been important to my ongoing recovery from obesity.

I will add only one thing: It has ABSOLUTELY been worth it!

This paragraph hits the nail on the head! It is hard work everyday! Some of it is fun, but some of it is really challenging! I worry about my ability to maintain this constant commitment that it requires. One day at a time, and there is no easy day except yesterday.