Telling people about having surgery

[BahaMs]

I have told a select few of people that I am having the gastric sleeve. One person was appalled that I would consider it because "you are not obese!!" Then she proceeded to push her TR90 Nuskin products. My interpretation was that she was thinking that I am lazy and if I just workout and eat right; I'll lose the weight.

I explained to her that I appreciate the information but I have done my research and made my decision. Maybe I am weak but I have done all the shake diets, T25 workouts, HCG, smart lipo, pills, etc. I feel this surgery will be a game changer for me. Yes I do not need to lose 100lbs; I will be happy with 50lbs but my 50lbs is relative to my height & weight and my HBP.


I am also sick of hearing; " you are so pretty, why would you want to do that?" I am not doing this for a man; I am doing this for myself and my future. I am in front of many people as a health insurance agent and want the confidence to grow my business to where I am a leader and can help others grow their business. It's part of my personal journey and I feel as if people feel the need to judge me and before I lose it; I just wanted to hear if any of you have experienced the same thing. Just want your feedback.

Cheers,

Sharlene

[zoey101]

Hi Sharlene, I only told my immediate Family because I didn't want to hear it either. I started at 200lbs. so I knew if I told anyone they would be super judgemental and give me grief. The only thing that I can tell you though is you can't bank on only 50lbs. of weight loss. I lost 70 in 6 months and that was really thin for me and I looked sick for ab little over a year. I since have gained 15lbs. back and I look allot healthier now, I am 2 years and almost 3 months out so weight gain is very normal, most people gain between 5 - 15% of their weight loss back. I just want you to be prepared for a much larger weight loss than you are thinking. I too thought I would only lose 50lbs. but it just kept falling off and you honestly have no control over that because the first year is hard to get the food in. I wish you the best of luck and yeah I would keep it to myself from here on out unless it's a Family member or best friend that you can really trust with your heart. People can be real jerks about this and that's why I kept it quiet.

[kenson]

You have to do what you feel is best for your life. People give you opinions based upon their life and their feelings. Opinions is precisely why I didn't tell anyone I was having surgery until the week before. You are an adult, you've done your research. You've made a decision based upon what you have learned. The sleeve is the best thing that I ever could have done for myself. In regard to your weight loss, my surgeon told me that your body will know at what weight it feels comfortable. You may lose a lot more than 50lbs. Good Luck with everything. You'll be just fine!

[BahaMs]

Yes I was told I may lose much more than that which is fine but I will be training to tone. I just find it funny that people who are either over weight or very thin would feel passionate about what I am doing to my body!!! I just went through Gratitude Training and some people said; "you won't want the surgery after this." Well I want it more now than ever!!!

[GigiUSA]

Sharlene we are in the same boat.... I can totally relate. I have a couple of very close friends that I know would COMPLETELY freak out if I told them. It sucks in a way because I would really like to ask them for their support and positive prayers the day of my surgery but it is certainly NOT worth their criticism for my decision and guilt for not working out harder with them... blah, blah, blah!!! It is not about anyone else. I am tall and carry my weight well. Anyone that knows me would never believe that I was pushing closer to 300 than I am from it. I dress in clothes that flatter my shape and try to hide the ever increasing weight I have packed on over the years. Like you, I have tried everything to lose weight without success. I am going to use the sleeve tool as just that... a tool to reset my body, mind and spirit. I am 50 and want to enjoy the rest of my life... living my BEST life!!!!

I wish you success and much joy in your new body!!!! (hugs)

[sraebaer]

In the beginning I just told my immediate family. When people started to notice, I would tell most people the "diet and exercise" line, but if it was another overweight person, like I was, I would tell them the truth. I think I inspired 2 people to have the surgery, one a stranger who was subbing at my school that I was talking to over lunch, the other a fellow teacher's wife.

Now probably more people know (people talk!) so I actually think it helps me be accountable to not regain my weight. I sure don't want to be the center of that gossip.

[Sammih]

Hi Sharlene,

I am in the beginning of my process, I have told a few close people in my life. They have reserved any negative comments, so far.
Except for my Mother In Law, but she is in a class by herself with what comes out of her mouth. I think people tend to think they are being kind but it doesn't come across that way to the recipient. And I hate the term pretty face... my ex (first) husband used to call me that.
Good luck with everything! I see your surgery date is soon!

Sam

[Realtorgirl]

Sharlene, I wonder why they felt you wouldnt want the surgery after the Gratitude Training? Its hard for me to wrap my head around how some people think. What does losing weight have to do with gratitude? You are making a positive change in your life for YOU! I commend you for taking care of YOU and doing whats best for YOU! Keep being passionate about you! Love it! You are gonna rock this and super proud of you!

[HappyJoy53]

I have told a select few of people that I am having the gastric sleeve. One person was appalled that I would consider it because "you are not obese!!" Then she proceeded to push her TR90 Nuskin products. My interpretation was that she was thinking that I am lazy and if I just workout and eat right; I'll lose the weight.

I explained to her that I appreciate the information but I have done my research and made my decision. Maybe I am weak but I have done all the shake diets, T25 workouts, HCG, smart lipo, pills, etc. I feel this surgery will be a game changer for me. Yes I do not need to lose 100lbs; I will be happy with 50lbs but my 50lbs is relative to my height & weight and my HBP.


I am also sick of hearing; " you are so pretty, why would you want to do that?" I am not doing this for a man; I am doing this for myself and my future. I am in front of many people as a health insurance agent and want the confidence to grow my business to where I am a leader and can help others grow their business. It's part of my personal journey and I feel as if people feel the need to judge me and before I lose it; I just wanted to hear if any of you have experienced the same thing. Just want your feedback.

Cheers,

Sharlene

I am not planning to be open about my surgery. I am afraid of too much of exactly what you mention. And I don't think the negativity is what we need. I am having mine on the 6.26. If the cat isn't all the way out of the bag, maybe you don't share it with many others. Just a thought. I'm normally an open book but was given this advice from another friend who had been through it.

[BahaMs]

What is even crazier is this person is not a friend just someone who I run into in the same circles. She is an older woman so it was a bit of a Wow moment when she was not coming from a place of support but more of a place to peddle her weight loss business (more shakes and measuring blah blah).

[BahaMs]

I think they felt that after Gratitude I would "feel better" about myself. Gratitude is amazing and I am thrilled to be a part of the community but it just made my decision for surgery that much more. (if that makes sense) I just feel that if I can get my outside body to match my inside mind and body; I will be EXTRAORDINARY!!!

[Shirl]

You know this is such a personal decision, and we have lived with the shame of regaining after soo many endless efforts.

Personally, I didn't tell a soul initially. I told my daughters and son when I was in well into the process for a few months, kids were supportive after the initial shock, we had just lost my sister so they did not want to lose their mom to Diabetes. I told my mom when almost nearing surgery, and as expected she was concerned and recommended I just try some apple and tuna diet she heard about lol! She also appointed herself to be my food police so we had some words about that. I told my life-partner three days before surgery, and he was only upset that I kept it from him. We lived in separate states then, and when I say him over winter break, I was so early in the process that I did not know how to tell him. He has been my biggest cheerleader since!

I told one close friend who I thought would understand, but weird enough we are not as close today. Every time I see her she says "I know I gained weight" but she never asks about my WLS journey.

I told one colleague who has struggled with her weight last fall on an annual meeting and will see her again in September.

I tell all the hostess at all you can eat buffets, my kids drag me to once in a while, so I can get the kids price lol!!! only Sizzler did not extend the child's price.

While all our WLS take us in differnt paths, most of us will relate to what you are experiencing. Stay the course!

Sending you the best of wishes for a successful upcoming surgery and speedy recovery!

[MsLaurie65]

Sweetie, do You!!! Forget what other people say this is about You and no one else. I have only told 3 people in my family. I told my Pastor Sunday and let's just say EPIC FAIL....I will not say anything to anyone else....But be proud of your decision, celebrate yourself and I will celebrate with You! Congratulations on your journey!!!

[Jmichelle]

When I first found this site and decided to go through with the surgery, I didnt tell a soul! Im glad i followed my heart and went through with it.

[Jmichelle]

Hi Zoe!