Live to Eat Mentality

[HappyJoy53]

Hello,

I am very interested in how you've been successful moving from a live to eat vs eat to live mentality? How do you manage during social situations and all the eating out and food situations involved in life? Also part of the reason, I've gotten in this place is emotional eating. Does anyone have advice about how they've changed that in their own lives?

And finally I don't want to be open with most of the people in my life about this surgery as I expect too much negativity that I would rather not deal with along with these changes. Thoughts on that?

[DesertGal]

I wrote a whole BLOG (not on this site) about that and it was titled "Eating To Live...Not Living To Eat" which is the way I announced I had the surgery to my family and friends.

I had to mentally change my views on how I had been eating for the last 25-30 years and accept the fact that I overate all the time, indulged on too many carbs and sweets, and face the music. I LOVED food, and eating and cooking and baking. I was pretty good at it. But I knew that in order for me to shed all the excess weight, I had to do more than have surgery. I would have to adhere to small amounts of healthier foods and live by that new rule. And it has worked. For some reason, I just don't get that 'JOY' when I see a plate of food. Especially in front of me on my small salad sized plate.

But I am down over 82+ pounds, over 36 inches smaller and feel great. Sure, it's still hard to get in the required proteins I need per meal at times- but I do it. I am a work in progress.

[sraebaer]

Almost 4 years out, at goal, and still working on it! Not sure if it will ever go away. I eat right most of the time, but when I'm out in certain situations it's a struggle. Last week I was at my daughter's house which was full of snacks. I have no willpower and ate junk. At my house there are no snacks, so it's no problem. I think I have restaurants down; I do well eating the right foods there.

I think not telling people is a good idea. Even the few best friends I told "blabbed" to others. I remember being at a party and having a person come up to talk about my surgery. Seriously, how did she know? Then I would hear about such-and-such who had weight loss surgery and gained back all their weight. Or people would say I am too thin, which is ridiculous, as I am at the high end of the normal BMI. I am far from too thin.

[HappyJoy53]

Thank you. How awesome. I'd love to read your blog sometime if you don't mind to share it..

[HappyJoy53]

Almost 4 years out, at goal, and still working on it! Not sure if it will ever go away. I eat right most of the time, but when I'm out in certain situations it's a struggle. Last week I was at my daughter's house which was full of snacks. I have no willpower and ate junk. At my house there are no snacks, so it's no problem. I think I have restaurants down; I do well eating the right foods there.

I think not telling people is a good idea. Even the few best friends I told "blabbed" to others. I remember being at a party and having a person come up to talk about my surgery. Seriously, how did she know? Then I would hear about such-and-such who had weight loss surgery and gained back all their weight. Or people would say I am too thin, which is ridiculous, as I am at the high end of the normal BMI. I am far from too thin.

Thank you, I can imagine that happening quickly in my circle. You know how people can be sometimes. I appreciate your confirmation. Beautiful job on your weight loss and keeping it off.

[DesertGal]

Thank you. How awesome. I'd love to read your blog sometime if you don't mind to share it..

I HOPE this link takes you to the blog post. This particular post is titled "Eating To Live...Not Living To Eat" (in case you get to the blog site but can't find the correct page, as I have a zillion blog pages on there I have written over the years.) I began that post in January and posted it a week or so after my surgery


https://rockitmom.wordpress.com/eati...e_preview=true

[Tuesday2]

I'm 2 months post op, so I don't have much of an answer for you about emotional eating, since it's not something I've overcome yet. I actually tend to eat more out of habit or boredom, so I'm working on that.

Like you, I decided not to tell many people, but I told my boss and one coworker, and I have a feeling my entire team knows now (it's fine. it's a small team at a HUGE company and we are all friends), but it's funny how it gets out.

On sunday, my husband's family will be at my house and we are all going out for breakfast for father's day. Usually dining out with my husband has been easy, but I know his family will be wondering what's wrong if I don't eat ANYTHING. I can only eat 1 egg so I was trying to figure out the best way to make it not obvious that I barely ate, and I decided to get 2 eggs, sunny side up. I'm going to break the yokes, eat the egg whites, and push the potatoes around on my plate to hide everything. lol

[Christie13]

I can tell you that I only told my immediate family and 4 very close friends. And I am glad that I did that. People are judgmental and I don't need that crap. I do like having local people to talk to but made sure I only told people that I trusted completely.

As for social situations, I can still eat. I just make sure that I fill up on protein first. There is always something to fill up on. Meats and cheeses. Veggie trays. I will eat a very small amount of the unhealthy stuff but as long as I fill on the good stuff first, there is little to no room. And eating out I always find something healthy on the menu. Grilled shrimp, chicken, and fish are my go to items. I avoid the bread and appetizers. You can do it. You just have to wrap your head around it. I was an emotional eater and a boredom eater. Now I don't do that. If I am feeling that I need to eat emotionally I will either go for a walk or run depending on where I am or eat some protein. Not a shake but something substantial like a piece of meat (or jerky) because it will fill you up quickly. I also think that because I eat low carb as my lifestyle (which was suggested by my nut and surgeon) that helps to avoid the cravings. When you are not really eating it you don't crave it. If you think that you cannot get around your eating addiction, you may need to seek therapy or a support group. And you do have to realize that while the sleeve will make you lose weight, it is just a tool. You still have to do the work. But it is an awesome support network here so don't be afraid to utilize it.

[Shirl]

Hello,

I am very interested in how you've been successful moving from a live to eat vs eat to live mentality? How do you manage during social situations and all the eating out and food situations involved in life? Also part of the reason, I've gotten in this place is emotional eating. Does anyone have advice about how they've changed that in their own lives?

And finally I don't want to be open with most of the people in my life about this surgery as I expect too much negativity that I would rather not deal with along with these changes. Thoughts on that?

I was and still am and will always be self-proclaimed foodie. That being said I believe in balance and moderation, it is something I am diligently working on every day of my life, and probably always will. I punished and rewarded myself with food that certainly has changed, food no longer takes precedence in my daily decisions. It is about progress not perfection, yes?

I have these affirmations on my fridge and probably do about 7 consistently:

1. Use built-in portion control
2. Eat on schedule
3. Eat with Intention and not mindlessly
4. Enjoy every bite
5. If hunger/eating urges occur ask yourself when you ate last, have water or unsweetened tea or coffee
6. Find a distraction
7. Stay active, keep body moving
8. Make time for self-care
9. Take multivitamins with breakfast and probiotic supplements before lunch, and calcium before bed
10. Look in the mirror at least twice a day and SMILE!

I'm just over a year and only told my kids, my mom, and my life partner. I did tell two other people and it's not here or there. I just true to my journey and not worry about anyone else. My mom has told me several cousins have drilled her about how I have lost all my weight. My mom says she just tells them I have discipline. Which is true that I am disciplined 70-80% of the time.

My kids love buffets and I have gone a few times at which time I have no qualms about disclosing my Sleeve so I can get the kid's meal price

[southernmom]

I was all about living to eat prior to surgery. I've never been big on sweets, but chips, fast food, and fried foods were my downfall. Since my surgery, all of that has changed. I still like those things, but I just don't want them like I used to. I'm very content with eating protein and veggies. A major problem for me was portion control. I could eat a lot!! Prior to surgery, if I went to a buffet, I could eat a ridiculous about of food, especially if there was fried chicken and catfish on the buffet. We still go out to eat and to buffets, but things are so much different now. I am content with getting grilled meats, veggies and salad. I am very aware that I need to eat those things first. I may grab a fried chicken leg and have a bite at the end of my meal, but that's it. I follow my nutritionist's advice to always have protein and veggies first and haven't had any issues. I've gotten creative when eating out with people that I haven't told I've had surgery. If we're at dinner, I'll say that I had a big lunch, etc. Unfortunately, I have found that the people who notice I haven't eaten much usually aren't the people that I'm eating with, but the restaurant server. Usually we are enjoying conversation and they are eating their food and don't notice until the waiter asks if everything is okay with my food.