Help...ive fallen off the wagon

[Skinnyme65]

Hi. I'm 5 years out from my sleeve surgery. I lost 100 lbs to obtain my goal weight within a year. I've kept the weight off for 3 plus years. I've had knee surgery with major complications and I have gained about 50 lbs back. I'm just disgusted with myself. I went back to eating as a crutch. The more I eat the more disgusted I get then I eat more. I know I have to get back on protein meals. Bought a huge box last week. And I have appt Monday with Dr. In just need support from other sleeves who understand. Falling off the wagon is harder than getting on. So thanks for hearing me out I will appreciate support and guidance.

[Christie13]

Good luck finding your way back. Get back to basics. Shakes, protein, veggies. Remember how hard you worked. You can do this.

[Kindle]

Did you ever seek help to address your eating disorder? I'm only 3 1/2 years out, but I know I would not be where I am today without the lessons I learned from my therapist. She helped me figure out where my mental triggers and weaknesses are and retrain myself with healthy, constructive coping mechanisms. These are tools I can use for the rest of my life. I would have failed my sleeve by now without them.

We all know the nutritional and behavioral rules it takes to lose weight. It's the psychological aspect of maintaining those rules and a healthy lifestyle that's hard. Don't waste your time with a doctor or nutritionist....invest your efforts with a mental health professional.

[Shirl]

This is from a book I am currently reading:

As the weeks went by, our clients were eager to please us and followed their meal plans. We weighed them each week, and finally, their weight goals were met. Unfortunately, however, some time later we started getting calls from some of these same people telling us how much they needed us again. Somehow, the weight had come back on. Their calls were very apologetic. For some reason, they couldn’t stick to the plan anymore. Maybe they needed someone to monitor them. Maybe they didn’t have enough self-control. Maybe they just weren’t any good at this, and definitely, they felt guilty and demoralized. In spite of the “failure,” our patients put all the blame on themselves. After all, they trusted us—we were the “great nutritionists” who had helped them lose weight. Therefore, they had done something wrong, not us. As time went on, it became clear that something was very wrong with this approach...

All our good intentions were only reinforcing some very negative, self-effacing notions that our patients had about themselves—that they didn’t have self-control, they couldn’t do it, therefore they were bad or wrong. This led to guilt, guilt, guilt...

How could we, as nutritionists (registered dietitians), trained to look at the connections between nutrition and health, sanction a way of eating that seemed to reject the very foundation of our knowledge and philosophy?...

Intuitive Eating provides a new way of eating that is ultimately struggle-free and healthy for your mind and body. It is a process that unleashes the shackles of dieting (which can only lead to deprivation, rebellion, and rebound weight gain). It means getting back to your roots—trusting your body and its signals....

Don't beat yourself up, it isn't going to make the regain go away. You must change your views about eating and your relationship with food. It is not easy but I believe it has helped me. Maybe it can help you get on a road to recovery and lifelong success.

The book is "Intuitive Eating" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.

Also, there is someone here called Tinman not sure if he has read this book, but his approach sounds like intuitive eating. Reach out to him he might have insight as a veteran sleever.

Ps... totally agree with Kindle. My therapist has been essential to healing my mind and my relationship with food. She along with a nutritionist I was working with post op suggested this book which I finally decided to get.

[Kindle]

Thanks for your input, Shirl. Gonna have to check out that book. You can never have too many tools in your shed!!

Skinnyme65, Here are some other resources, besides my therapist that have been helpful....

www.smartrecovery.org

"The emotional first aid kit" by Cynthia Alexander
"Eat it up" by Connie Stapleton
"Get out of your head and into your life" by Steven Hayes
"Life Without Ed" by Jenni Schaefer
"Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Dummies" and
"Feeling Good : The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns

[Skinnyme65]

Thank you that is on my list. I had knee replacement 8 weeks ago and have had 2 procedures since and one next week. But I know I need someone to talk to. Thanks so much for your input and concern

[Skinnyme65]

Thanks. I will see. Look into Amazon is my best friend. A lot has to do with depression which I'm medicating for. But it's all emotional. It's how I punish myself. You learn a lot about eating habits post sleeve. I did. I know my triggers. But You get on this hamster wheel. I can slow it down but can't get off. And everyone says see you look great you don't need to lose any weight. But it steadily creeps up and up. I know I need support which is why I'm here. I loved the forums pre and post surgery. But our work is never finished. Thanks again for you advice and book suggestion

[Donald G]

Sounds to me that you are fully aware of why you are having trouble and you laid out the steps you are going to start taking to correct them if you follow through I see success for you.

[Lee6Lee]

I am 3 years out and gained some weight back. Not a great deal, but know it could pile up. I still look nice, but think I looked nicer a little smaller. So, I do appreciate this thread and the suggestion to order the book called Intuitive Eating. Should arrive next week. Have also read online about the basics.

I'm still so very happy with the surgery! A week ago someone came up behind me and said, "Have you lost more weight? You look great!" So it mustn't be that bad.

But I know me....

[Ann2]

I hope you get this moving in the right direction soon. I hope you can stop punishing yourself and start loving yourself as you deserve. And I send you my best wishes for the best possible turnaround and outcomes. You can fix this.

I don't have anything new to add to what Kindle, Shirl and others have said ... but let me double down on the tremendous value of working with a therapist. On the advice of my PCP, I started seeing a therapist a few months pre-op. And I'm still seeing him. His input and perspective have been so, so, so helpful to me. I know you'd find a good therapist very helpful to you, too.

FYI, I've lost 100 pounds and have maintained that weight loss to this day (I'll be 3 years post-op in mid-August). My big tools for weight loss and maintenance have been:

1. My sleeve. Love it!

2. My therapist.

3. My Fitness Pal. Could not function well without it. Not only can I track what I eat/drink on it, but I use it as a tremendous daily eating LANNING tool. Every morning I post what I'm going to eat that day. Removes all the mystery / anxiety from my eating plan. It takes me so little time. It's just part of my post-WLS lifestyle.

4. Exercising almost daily -- for now, it's yoga class (2X a week), aquarobics (3X a week), walking (as many times as I can squeeze it in -- no matter how long or short). Oh -- and housecleaning, gardening and mowing; I'm so much more active than I used to be.

P.S. Yo, Lee! Don't be a stranger. Come on back!

[Skinnyme65]

Thank you for the kind words. I've lost my strength to fight. I guess all I have is going into this knee situation. Unfortunately I can only walk for app half hour at a time. MY physical activity has nose dives. I'm also out on temp. Disability so I'm not working cause of my knee. I know I need tobstoonezcusea and prioritize. That's my goal right now. Me first!

[tinman]

This is from a book I am currently reading:



Don't beat yourself up, it isn't going to make the regain go away. You must change your views about eating and your relationship with food. It is not easy but I believe it has helped me. Maybe it can help you get on a road to recovery and lifelong success.

The book is "Intuitive Eating" by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.

Also, there is someone here called Tinman not sure if he has read this book, but his approach sounds like intuitive eating. Reach out to him he might have insight as a veteran sleever.

Ps... totally agree with Kindle. My therapist has been essential to healing my mind and my relationship with food. She along with a nutritionist I was working with post op suggested this book which I finally decided to get.

When I published my book, a lot of vets emailed me and asked if I had read the book referenced in Shirl's post. I hadn't, but, I did after publishing. Their book is very sound in principle, but, lacks specific direction concerning life both before and after having been sleeved. That would be a product of publishing in the mid 90's.

My book deals with several issues that universally occur post op, and is specific to VSG patients. One issue is, of course, the four pillars. Nutrition, Hydration, Supplements, and Exercise. The other issues are self esteem, especially with women, relationship issues (sexual and non sexual) pre and post op, and how to live like a sleeved person in a non sleeved world.

I am in the process of writing another book that specifically deals with how to maintain, how to deal with the inevitable weight gain that occurs after three or four years after the procedure, and ongoing self esteem issues. I will be five years in August and I have had to deal with a myriad of issues including some of the ones I've mentioned.

Before writing the first book, I solicited for volunteers (both locally here in Houston via my sleeve group and here on the sleeve site) to submit to an interview where I asked all kinds of questions relating to self esteem, dietary challenges, and relationship issues. To say the responses were eye opening would be an understatement. While I had a decent number of men responders, the vast majority of the folks that took the survey were women and I had no idea how intertwined self esteem is to weight loss for women.

The results were so astounding that I had to take a break from writing and really spend some time analyzing the data. After that break, my book took an entirely different direction and the final product was 180 degrees different from my original outline.

I am in the process of finding respondents for the interview process for the new book. As with the first book, the data so far is pretty eye opening and I am looking forward to getting enough responders so that I can draw some conclusions and get the book done.

As for "Intuitive Eating", I wish that title wasn't already taken. It would make for the perfect title to either one of my books.


BTW....where the hell you been Lee? Great to see you back at the keyboard!

[Lee6Lee]

Tinman and Ann: Thank you for the welcome back.
Tinman, where can I buy your book?

[tinman]

Tinman and Ann: Thank you for the welcome back.
Tinman, where can I buy your book?

So....I decided not to announce it when the book came out. It's been out for a couple of years now. I didn't want the haters claiming that the only reason I was on here was to pimp my book. Lots on here knew I was writing one and everyone said they wanted a copy, but, I just didn't want to blur the lines.

I truly am interested in helping others on here. Besides, the info I spew on this site is in the book so the members here are getting for free what everyone else is paying for.....

The book has done pretty well and the blow back has been sufficiently light so I thought I would carry my piece of research a little further and write another.

So, if you must know what the name of my book is, I'll tell you.

Fifty Shades of Gray.

That's how I roll.

[Lee6Lee]

So funny!!!!