Anyone else feel like this during their journey or am I just loosing my mind ?

[Sandralee71]

I am doing great with the weight loss as of today 181 pounds down, I have notice in the last 2 weeks it has been more of a mental struggle for me since I don't have the food to stuff down the hurt, anger and frustration I once used as a coping mechanism. I have to feel everything and it's makes me feel like I am on the urge of a breakdown.

In the last 2 weeks I have started morning the death of my parents, my dad's been gone 10 years, and my mom 1 1/2 years. The extreme anger I feel at the living situation I find myself in, and mad at people who purposely bring BS and drama into my life. I even walked out on Easter Sunday service because my Pastors wife always does everything the last minute, and I do the music for service, if she don't do her part I am left hanging and have to wing it. She had nothing ready when service was about to start like she promised. I got up and I walked away because I felt the urge to smack her for putting me in the position for the 100th time. I walked 1 1/2 miles to Starbucks in high heels that day just to cool down and get away from my church.

My poor husband is a great guy and he just wants to be helpful but I don't know what to do but just share it with him, in some ways I am ashamed of the way I have been acting and in some ways I think it's about damn time I stop eating my anger and get mad and stop letting people take advantage of me or a situation.

Anyone else feel like this during their journey or am I just loosing my mind ?

[Numbers]

Been a while since I posted here, but when I got the email of updates, and saw yours, I decided to chime in and hopefully share something that has gone well for me.

I am a couple years post op, and feel good. Medically my Doc said, after looking at latest blood work and physical results, "I don't know how people get numbers this good".

But I came to realize the last year or so I was using food to cope with some very bad family dynamics, which caused a lot of mental anguish that I thought was entirely normal for everyone. I have a buddy who is an "interventionist", talks people into finally going to rehabs when they have a substance abuse problem. She and I were at lunch one day and I mentioned I felt adrift, and my family stuff was crazy. I come from a long, long list of alcholics (I am okay, but I know I am susceptible).

She convinced me to go to this place called On-Site, www.onsiteworkshops.com, it's kind of like a re-hab for emotional abuse. I took her advice blindly, she is a good friend and professional, and WOW, did I ever get a face full of what mental health issues are, why I have them, how to work through them, why having a therapist is important, etc.

I am a "guy's guy" who until a year ago felt therapist were all screwed up idiots who babbled about stupid schit and got touchy, feely, emotional basket cases to imagine all kinds of stuff for money. Now I drive 1.5 hours each way to see a super high end therapist once a month, and starting in May will have her come to my office once a month for group team building for my employees. And its expensive, but worth it.

When I went to OnSite, I met people from all over the world, in this little place called Cumberland Furnace, TN, just 90 minutes from my home. People were there from Asia, Europe, Central America, and of course across North America.

I am not pimping for them, I get nothing if you try that, or some other therapist, but I suggest that might be beneficial. It was for me.

I still have the wickedly manipulative family, ex-wife, all that jazz, but I have learned to put my emotions on a coffee table and examine them, look at them closely, start to understand them, and then decide if I want to hold on to them or not. I also do some meditation, directed and self directed, where I take a few minutes to examine what I am thinking and feeling. Its a big change for a harley riding, big game hunting, red-neck. It's a change I am enjoying.

[Katrina]

Good for you! Walk away. I have been standing up for myself much more, and boy have I been called a bitch more times than I can count recently. I own it, too. I don't let anything slide anymore. People that are used to you taking their crap sure don't know how to handle it when you stop. It's a great feeling. I bet you looked super sassy in those high heels on your defiant walk. You go with your bad self!

[Ann2]

Numbers, I am very proud of you! So glad you're looking for new answers. And maybe some new questions.

My therapist (I've been seeing him since June 2014) has made this trip a LOT easier and more successful for me.

This morning I posted on someone's blog here that I didn't understand how anyone could deal with the kinds of food / eating / behavioral / emotional issues that brought most of us to the point of WLS without the help of a good therapist.

A lot (most?) of us became obese because food was a convenient, socially acceptable, legal, readily available drug that numbed our pains and discomforts and helped us tolerate the crappy situations we found ourselves in without having to make hard decisions that involved others or change our own behavior. Deep subject. Anyway, congrats!

And to the great Miss Sandralee71, no, you are not losing your mind! I know exactly how you feel. You should feel those feelings. Not numb them with chocolate cake or mac and cheese. If a skinny latte will help, go for it, but leave off the whipped cream.

It sounds like it's time for you to tell quite a few people in your life, "NO, I said NO. What part of NO do you not understand?" The person you need to say "Yes" to right now is YOU. You are so worth it.

BTW, it's possible to tell people NO without being an asshole (if you're in the mood not to be an asshole). Check out this article:

http://lifehacker.com/5875337/how-to...ing-an-asshole

Don't you just love the internet?

[lil_lisa]

I think alot of us were pushing down anger and that is why we got into the eating problem. Sounds like you were also.

[Christie13]

Good for you for standing up for yourself. People will continue to treat us as we allow them to. Maybe she'll think twice about doing that again. As for dealing with the loss of your parents now, seems to me that you never dealt with it properly at the time of their loss so you're dealing with it now. Good luck.
PS. Great job on your 185 lbs loss. Impressive.

[Numbers]

Hey Ann - Good to see you again, love ya! Hope life is every bit as wonderful as you deserve!!!

[Shirl]

Firstly, Numbers so great to hear from you! always enjoyed your insight early on in my journey.

SandraLee, you are definitely not alone, I found myself dealing with a lot of what you mentioned within the same week post op. I attributed it to the fact that I started dealing with physical and head hunger 3 days post op. So when I could not go to my source of coing mechanism, relying on food for comfort and appeasement, I had short fuse and was getting irritated for things I would normally ignore and push somewhere in my unconscious.

I have been working on myself for years, I'm in social service work so being trauma informed and selfcare have been paramount to my training. So I thought I had it handled, but post Sleeve "things" started to resurface.

I started seeing a therapist highly recommended by Southwest Bariatrics were I do my aftercare follow up. In fact, I saw her today as I am making other life changing decisions, and going to go and live with my son and his family while I'm in graduate school. Anywho... just wanted to say that you are not alone. One of the things I have loved about working with my therapist is how profoundly my relationship and views to food has changed, not because that's what we actually work on, but how I have come to realize food became a crutch and a source of added guilt to my life. It's work in progress.

I hope you find a therapist that can support you as you start learning more about yourself through this journey.

[Sandralee71]

Thanks so much for all the feedback you all provided, I sure appreciate the websites provided, I will check it out. I am going to look into therapy for myself and hopefully no one will get hurt in the process...I appreciate you all more then you know. I don't know anyone personally that would even have a clue what a life changing experience this is!