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Thread: Mourning food

  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Alix
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    Mark Pleatman
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    Default Mourning food

    9 days since my surgery. All is well. However, going to the grocery store today brought something to my attention that made me sad, at least for awhile. I'll put this bluntly and honestly: I'm an incredible cook. I'm sure I could get away with being the ringer in those cooking shows where they throw in an amateur to fool everyone into thinking they're a chef. My struggle with weight has never been because I drink soda (none -- not for decades, diet or otherwise) or fast food. My struggle is that no one appreciates my cooking like I do.
    I picked up an issue of Taste of Home while I was in line and immediately thought "Hm, that looks good. I could make that the next time the kids are out to visit." And yes, that's still true, but making incredible dishes that I can have none of if I'm to stick with a low carb diet the rest of my life doesn't seem to make sense ... and again, just depresses me. Really, I almost started crying.
    There is no answer here -- I just needed to whine. (Wish I DRANK wine...maybe that would make me feel better.) I actually think it's healthy to face this problem (and others like it) because in order to have long-term permanent success, the changes MUST be made. As soon as I start thinking "Oh, I can have this just one time", I will be back on the road to destruction.
    On a high note, my grocery bill sure as hell has dropped!! Today I spent literally 10 times more on cat food and wild bird seed than human food. 6 cartons of yogurt doesn't really put much of a dent in the budget.



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  4. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Ann2
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    n.a.
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    I agree with everything you've said. You're going to be fine. It might not seem like it now. But you are on a "trip" right now -- going from A to wherever you wind up (which will be as far as you decide to take this trip).

    I realize no one who's newly embarked on the trip will believe this, but sooner than you might believe you can create a whole new NORMAL that you'll enjoy just as much as you used to enjoy your old, cook everything, eat everything way of living.

    However, there are two big reasons for the weight loss period: (1) to lose the weight you want to lose and (2) to simultaneously WHILE YOU ARE LOSING WEIGHT figure out and implement what you want your new lifestyle for the rest of your life to be.

    Seriously! The people I see who do the best are those who don't think of the weight-loss phases as something distinct from how they're going to live their lives after they reach goal. Yes, there are some things you'll have to forgo during weight loss. But you cannot assume that once you reach your goal or hit a level where you are feeling more comfortable than you do now that you can go back to exactly the same way you lived before. What you leave behind you and what you take with you into a life of health and normal weight is up to you and depends on your body, your goals, and your level of commitment.

    I guess another way of saying this ^^^ is that you have a choice here between more than "your old way" and "a life of deprivation." There are lots of other options available to you. It's a rich menu.

    Very best to you. And welcome.



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post


  5. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member Tamera2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Tamera Anderson
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    01/24/2017
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    Cool Re: Mourning food

    You can vent anytime and agree it's healthy. When your back to eating real food your cooking skills will come in handy. You can still eat good tasting food, it just will be done differently. I love to get creative with fresh herbs, try new seasonings, fresh garlic. It will get easier. I too have spoiled the wild birds, humming birds and my dog. lol Hang in there. off to try new recipe. Just needed to make two adjustments, yay
    Highest weight- 288 / Wt at Surgery 268
    1 month 236 -29lbs 2 month 214 -22lbs 3 month 206 -08lbs 4 month 196 -10lbs 5 month 185 -11lbs 6 month 178 -7lbs 7 month 172 -6lbs 9mos -12lbs 156 13mos later wt.144lbs, Wt.138 -150lbs in 15mos

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  7. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member Christie13's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Christie
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    Dr. Wright
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    There is plenty of great healthy cooking out there. Being that you have such a love for cooking maybe researching and learning how to make some of your favorite dishes in a healthy, delicious way!! Just think about how you will be serving your family something that is not only good but good for them. I am sure you can find a new passion for cooking. And venting is normal. We all go through thinking about what permanent changes and temporary changes we need to make. I can tell you that prior to surgery I thought I was going to miss carbs. Now that I am 19 weeks out, I really don't. But facing this head on is definitely a good thing.



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  9. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Katrina's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Katrina
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    Dr. Borland
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    I don't miss carbs...because I never gave them up. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones that won't have to either. I truly believe that if you teach your body that carbs are bad by cutting them out, your body will learn to treat them as bad. Who knows, but it's worked for me.

    I had two buffalo chicken Rangoons as an appetizer and a meatloaf sandwich on rye with onion rings for lunch. Took me three sitting, but I finished it. Admittedly, my 3 pound chihuahua ate more of the sandwich than I did. Just polished off some corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes for dinner. And I've been downing sweet tart mini chews all dang day. Oh, and I also had a delightful springy daiquiri with lunch as well. Carbs are my friends, I'd never tell them goodbye
    No pre-op diet
    Day of surgery 11/4/14: 5'4" 213lbs
    1 month: 187
    2 months: 171
    3 months: 155
    4 months: 148
    5 months: 142
    6 months: 136
    7 months: 131
    8 months: 125
    9 months: 120
    10 months: 114
    11 months: 111
    1 year: 109
    1.5 years: 105
    2 years: 108
    2.5 years: 102
    3 years: 113
    4 years: 115
    5 years: 115
    6 years: 117



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  12. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member ghost_ryder's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    I think about how lucky you are to be a great cook. You can do more inventive and creative things with the things you can eat that will never get bored. We have a lady in our support group that is a chef and I often think about how lucky she is and her customers could be if she cooked her new knowledge into her meals.



    HW - 341 - June 1
    SW - 319 - 8/23 (-22)
    1mn - 286 - Sept 23 (-33) -total 55
    2mn - 274 - Oct 23 (-12) -total 67
    3mn - 263 - Nov 23 (-11) -total 78
    6mn - 238 - Feb 23(-25) - total 103
    9mn - 230 - May 23 (-8) - Total 111
    10mn - 226 - June 23 (-4) Total 115
    11mn - 226 - July 23 (0) Total 115


  13. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member tinman's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Dr. Mario Almanza
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    And yes, that's still true, but making incredible dishes that I can have none of if I'm to stick with a low carb diet the rest of my life doesn't seem to make sense ... and again, just depresses me. Really, I almost started crying.


    Pardon me for saying so, but, at less than two weeks post op, you don't have the first clue as to what you will be doing six months from now, a year from now, or for the rest of your life. One thing is for certain, you are going to be floored at what ever it is you'll be doing at those benchmark dates.


    Ok....here is one of them there "teachable moments". Ann is right, Katrina is right and anyone who has been on this merry go round for less than two years doesn't have an informed opinion. Here's the dealio. You are going to have to make a plan that works for you because you will be sleeved for as long as you breathe the air that the good lord provides.

    So, what does that mean?

    It means, that if you think you can spend the rest of your life depriving yourself of the foods that make you happy, then you are deluding yourself. If that were possible, you would not have needed to be sleeved in the first place. You could have gone Atkins, Paleo, twigs grass and branches, or what ever diet that makes everyone but you lose weight, and BOOM! Permanent weight loss. Right? WRONG!!!

    You, me, Ann, Katrina and every other sleever on earth purchased a tool to HELP us lose weight. Not MAKE us lose weight. The sleeve is not going to make your body suddenly impervious to the foods that make you lose weight. What the sleeve will do, guaranteed, is allow you to eat the foods that made you gain weight in quantities that will prevent you from gaining weight, as long as you don't abuse the privilege. In other words......

    Never,ever,ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever over eat......ever.

    It is impossible for people to abstain from foods that make them happy. It is even more impossible for folks like you that can cook great tasting food that not only you enjoy, but others enjoy too. I am betting you get just as much joy out of watching someone enjoy a meal you cooked than you do eating it yourself. So, buck up and understand that once you are able to eat anything you want, you'll then be challenged with finding a way to allow yourself to eat those foods without gaining weight.

    I have literally, hundreds and hundreds of posts dealing with this very issue on my profile page. Please read up on them. My theory is simple. As sleevers, we eat about 20% of what a normal, skinny, person eats. Because of this, we are unable to eat enough of the "bad" foods in order to make us gain weight. That is, unless you over eat. All bets are off is you allow yourself to out eat your sleeve. So, once you get back to real foods, please start experimenting with different combinations of those foods that do not cause you to gain weight. Here's the dirty little secret. While you are stumbling around trying to find a good food plan to keep you from gaining weight, you will, guaranteed, run into a plan that not only helps you not gain weight, but actually speeds up the weight loss process. It happened to me, Katrina, Dawnrogers7, Jessiejess and many others.

    Now understand, my plan is my plan. It's not my contention that this is the only way to lose weight with the sleeve. I am always careful to point out that others on here have lost tons of weight doing it the polar opposite of myself. Ann is a perfect example of that. Another sleever that doesn't post here anymore named Truffles is another example. I would encourage you to look their profiles up and see if what they preach doesn't tickle your fancy better than what good ol Tinman is spewing.

    I will be glad to expand on my plan with you if you would like. Just pm me and we'll go from there. I also encourage you to pm katrina and Ann and ask them the same questions. There are as many ways to lose weight with the sleeve as there are sleeved persons. That's the honest to God truth.

    In the end, you must make a plan, work the plan, own your results, and change it as necessary.

    Just know that you are not, ABSOLUTELY NOT, required to give up the foods you enjoy or worse yet, the gift of cooking them.




  14. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member RehabNurse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrina View Post
    I don't miss carbs...because I never gave them up.
    Me, neither. If I want a slice of pizza, I eat it. If I want a cheeseburger or sub sandwich, I eat it all (bread and everything). I am an active person and the carbs are helpful for fueling my daily activities.

    Do not get me wrong. I was not eating this way during the weight loss phase. However, I do not believe in deprivation because this messes people up more than anything, IMHO. Good luck to you.


    10/23/14 Initial Consult 200 lb, 5'1 tall
    4/6/15 Highest Wt 225 (yes: 25 lb gain)
    4/20/15 Surgery Wt 218, BMI 41

    1 mo 203.0 -15
    2 mo 190.5 -12.5
    3 mo 184.5 -6
    4 mo 177.0 -7.5
    5 mo 171.0 -6
    6 mo 164.5 -6.5
    7 mo 157.5 -7
    8 mo 152.5 -5
    9 mo 149 -3.5
    10 m 143 -6
    11 m 142 -1
    1 yr 138.5 -3.5
    13 m 133 -5.5
    14 m 128 -5
    15 m 125 -3
    16 m 121 -4
    17 m 120 -1
    18 m 118 -2

    Dec '17: BMI 23.5; consumes 2000+ kcal/day

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  16. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member bigdogluver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    Alix, There's a lot of wonderful information in all of these comments. From all that I've read here and other places, you're grieving is good to acknowledge but in reality, life will be better than your fears. I love to cook, too. As time goes by and you come up with recipes geared for a sleever, I really hope you'll share them with us!


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  18. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Alix
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    Mark Pleatman
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    You act like I went into this procedure with absolutely no idea what's to come. You're wrong. Both my sisters-in-law and my daughter-in-law had a bypass, and my best friend just hit 1 year on her sleeve. I didn't need to be lectured by someone who apparently believes he has all the correct answers. I was merely sharing some of what I was going through NOW. I've learned my lesson and believe me, it won't happen again.
    There's a 15% long term failure rate with gastric sleeve. Good odds, but ..... Keep THAT in mind.



  19. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member griz9112's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    pat
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    Maybe I am wrong but after reading the last response it sounds like Tinman was just chastised for his advice! Pretty rude especially when you leave out some important facts so of course people are going to assume you are a complete newbie I was about to give my two cents advice too until I read that. People are here to provide support and advice, I am thankful for Tinman's along with others advice to me when I was depressed about my food options



    HW - 251
    Pre op diet - 242
    day of surgery -231
    One month - 212. -39 lbs
    Two months - 202. - 10 lbs. to date total 49

    Eight months. 180 Total lost to date. 71 pounds


  20. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member tinman's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Dr. Mario Almanza
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    And yes, that's still true, but making incredible dishes that I can have none of if I'm to stick with a low carb diet the rest of my life doesn't seem to make sense ... and again, just depresses me. Really, I almost started crying.

    In my response to your original post, I highlighted a quote lifted directly from your post. In it, you state that you think you'll need to stick to a low carb diet for the rest of your life and that you are destined to make incredible dishes that you can have none of if you stick to low carb.....FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

    Please, enlighten me as to how I'm supposed to take that statement any way other than the way i did.

    Then, you went on to type, There is no answer here -- I just needed to whine.. Well, I gave you an answer, others on here have given you an answer and you've gotten offended.

    I never professed to have all of the answers. In fact, I made it very clear that my way is just that....my way. However, my way is grounded in a huge ass dose of been there and done that. Four and a half years worth to be exact. And as far as this subject goes, I do know more about it than you.

    This trip is going to be a long, painful, and really needlessly difficult if you don't take a step back, take a deep breath, and listen to the advice that's been given to you. I get that your emotions are going everywhere. Your hormones are out of whack because of the major changes you've made to your body. Each of us had to suffer through the same emotional and hormonal ups and downs. But, be assured. It gets better and better each day that goes by. Just know that as you progress, you'll be in more control of how you live than you are right now. Right now, the only thing you are in control of is what size straw you use to sip your protein drinks. That's it and that sucks. But, it does get better.

    As I said earlier, I am way more than happy to give you some advice should your want to reach out and ask. If not me, then please reach out to others. We are, for the most part, all willing to give you advice. Please don't be one of the ones you read on here that think that they need to suffer for their successes.

    YOU DO NOT NEED TO SUFFER

    Peace




  21. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member Lisa73me's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    Quote Originally Posted by HillsdaleAlix View Post
    You act like I went into this procedure with absolutely no idea what's to come. You're wrong. Both my sisters-in-law and my daughter-in-law had a bypass, and my best friend just hit 1 year on her sleeve. I didn't need to be lectured by someone who apparently believes he has all the correct answers. I was merely sharing some of what I was going through NOW. I've learned my lesson and believe me, it won't happen again.
    There's a 15% long term failure rate with gastric sleeve. Good odds, but ..... Keep THAT in mind.
    Tinman was just trying to help, I know he has a lot to say, but please don't take it that he thinks you are ignorant or uninformed in anyway, I can guarantee that he doesn't... I know what you mean about mourning food, I'm going through that myself and I'm hating my sleeve right now. But I believe Tinman is right about having to figure out what works for you and do your own plan with advise from those who have been there...



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  23. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member Tamera2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Tamera Anderson
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    I'm just floored how Tinman was attacked by a newbie who didn't even have common decency to take a quick second to thank people for giving our learned knowledge or experience!!!!! Has for as I'm concerned your being the rude one not him or me. Maybe you should think about what your saying and keep it to yourself if its rude!!! We took time out of are day to help encourage you and share things in our life that are helping us beat the Obesity War!!!
    Highest weight- 288 / Wt at Surgery 268
    1 month 236 -29lbs 2 month 214 -22lbs 3 month 206 -08lbs 4 month 196 -10lbs 5 month 185 -11lbs 6 month 178 -7lbs 7 month 172 -6lbs 9mos -12lbs 156 13mos later wt.144lbs, Wt.138 -150lbs in 15mos

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  25. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member Merry Mary's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Mary
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    09/29/2014
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    Dr
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    Default Re: Mourning food

    Alix, you can still cook incredible meals like you always have and eat the food you cook. The sleeve doesn't change that. I did not try low carb because it wasn't realistic for me to think I could do that the rest of my life. What worked for me is finding the right balance of exercise, water, protein, sleep and vitamins (if necessary). When my weight loss slowed I increased my water and/or protein. You need to find what works for you.

    By all means, if you want to go low carb, that's your decision. Initially after being sleeved your food choices are limited as you advance through the various food stages. Once your stomach is healed you will probably be able to eat almost everything you want, cooked however you want.
    HW - 394
    SW - 366
    One year post op - 191
    Goal - 177 met 16 months post op
    Current - 174

    220 lost since June 19, 2014




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