Replacing the enjoyment of eating out

**Newlife2017** · 03-18-2017 11:53 AM

The one thing I really miss is the enjoyment my husband and I always shared when eating out on Friday nights. It's been a tradition for years for us to go out to dinner after a long work week. Although we still go out, I don't seem to enjoy it as much and I don't think my husband does either. Because I feel full so quickly, I don't feel as thought I actually enjoy the food or the environment.

We would order a drink, sit and visit and talk about our week then order our meal. Now I can't have anything to drink and I am done eating in just a few minutes so I just sit there while he eats. Then of course the waitress or waiter asks multiple times if there was something wrong with my meal or if I was sure that I didn't want something to eat. I also feel like I waste so much food because I don't eat the sides just the fish, chicken or whatever other protein I happen to order.

Have any of you other sleevers gone through this and if so how did you handle it?

**Donald G** · 03-18-2017 04:15 PM

My wife and I still go out to dinner, it's usually me that is still eating while she is finished because it takes me so long to eat such a small amount usually a good 25 minutes or so to down 4 ounces of the protein and the little bit of veggies I am able to consume. She sometimes gets a cocktail I order water I just sip it for a short time we make sure we stagger when we order our food so that it as close to 30 minutes after I drink as possible we tend to be at a restaurant for a good hour now. I find I tip even more now then before as we are occupying a table for longer then before so I try to make it up to the waitress.

**Tamera2** · 03-18-2017 04:53 PM

I'm the same as Don. I have to eat very slow, so its my husband who finishes before me. I usually take leftovers home and use it for lunch. I special order my meals. most restaurants will substitute a food for something you can eventually have. I also let the waiter or waitress now I had surgery because sometimes I've been allowed to order half an order and charged way less. Sometimes I order cranberry juice with Lime and sip on that while visiting with my husband or friends. Then we stagger our food 30mins. Hope you can work it out so you get enjoyment again. Thankfully for me I'm so much happier than before surgery life is so much better and enough times gone by my way of life comes naturally. Good luck and hope your journey improves.

**Christie13** · 03-18-2017 07:35 PM

I still enjoy my meals out with my husband. We usually order a meal and an appetizer and an extra side of veggies. We get an extra plate and I take some of the protein and the extra veggies. I eat slowly and he enjoys a beer. We enjoy our conversation. It is just a new way of life and mindset. I know eventually I will eat a little more and it will seem a little more normal but I am totally ok with the way things are now.

**Fatbgone** · 03-18-2017 08:00 PM

I am in the same boat. For years my husband and I also went out on Fridays nights. I too feel I waste so much food and the waitress alwaus concerned that something was wrong with my food.
I still enjoy the company, but I have lost my desire to eat out at all.
Also I can't drink even water if I'm going to eat.
I have decided that eating out weekly is a thing of the past.

**Katrina** · 03-19-2017 11:18 AM

I'm in the exact same boat. My husband and I eat out several nights per week. It's almost always a miserable experience for me now. At 28 months post op you'd think I'd have this all figured out by now. I don't. I still order way too much food - appetizer, full meal (usually a 16oz ribeye), and an alcoholic beverage. I can still only eat 3 or 4 bites, so obviously a lot of food is left sitting in front of me. There are always the inevitable questions from the servers. I always feel sick because I always take that last bite that was one bite (or three) too many. I end up being a pain in the ass telling my husband to hurry up because I know I'll be lucky to make it half way home before he has to pull the car over for me to relieve myself of my dinner. I'm a freaking mess!

Then I get home and I'm starving, so I attack my leftovers. It's a vicious cycle that we repeat week after week after week. *sigh* Thank God my husband adores me despite me.

**Luna354** · 03-19-2017 11:58 AM

I had the nicest dinner out last night with my husband. Could be because we didn't have our 9 year old with us lol. I drank water before out food came. I ordered an appetizer as my dinner. We were talking and I ate so slow. I was still eating when he was done. It was actually very nice. I only had maybe 1/3 of what I ordered but still enjoyed myself.

Other times if we go out and he orders steak, I just share with him. I don't order anything of my own.

**ghost_ryder** · 03-19-2017 08:49 PM

We still eat out but it has changed for us. We can share a meal or I have plenty of leftovers. My selection is greatly reduced but it is all still things I enjoy. You will find enjoyment or you can just enjoy the company. At home, everyone is so fast to get up from the table but when you are out, you just cant walk away when you are done. You have to talk and share and just be....