Insecurities

[Trastan]

Hello I am scheduled for my surgery on Monday March 6,2017. The self doubts are starting to kick in as I tell people I am going to have this surgery people look at me like I am nuts and just too lazy to lose weight the normal way. I have tried dieting before and lost some weight but it always came right back. I am also a smoker which is the main reason I want to get my weight under control. I quit smoking about five years back and gained 30 lbs. the depression from the weight gain caused me to start again. I eventually lost that weight and last year I tried to quit again and gained 12 lbs in two months even though I was eating less then before and exercising. Needless to say I started smoking again. My real goal is that I can get my weight under control so that if I quit smoking and gain some weight I won't be obese. However, I know I shouldn't care what other people think but they are starting to make me feel like I am just doing this because I am lazy and vain. I am 5'3 and was 196 pounds(prior to my pre-op) diet. I was just wondering if anyone else went through these feelings due to other people's reactions?

[Luna354]

I didn't tell people. My husband knew I was having surgery and 2 others (both people that are sleeved and they are part of my support system). I didn't tell people because I didn't want their opinions.

I'm sorry you're going through that and it's making you feel bad.

Much of being sleeved is a mental battle, like quitting smoking. I was a smoker of 20 years and quit cold turkey. It was hard, but it's all mental after the first 3 days. You can do it. Remember the sleeve is a tool for weight loss. It's not going to do it all for you, it's a tool.

Good luck MOnday, wishing you a quick recovey!

[DesertGal]

First, Congratulations on your surgery Monday. I haven't told anyone other than my husband, two daughters and my sister. I KNOW other family members and they would be the ones to judge, harp and try ad scare the crap out of me with horror stories (of which they know NO ONE who's had this surgery). Along with this being the lazy way, etc..... Lazy way, MY ASS! I have dieted for YEARS and have lost a few times, large amounts, but it was so temporary. All the baggage came back, along with a few new BAGS!
My primary care doctor finally had enough of watching me struggle and be defeated. And when she told me in December that I had crossed the line from Pre diabetic to diabetic and wanted me to begin Metformin, I said NO WAY and she suggested this surgery. (I had researched WLS on and off for a decade or more.)

[Tamera2]

Hi, I really hope you have got your smoking battle under control because once you have your sleeve they don't want you smoking. Also you have to be ready to change your mindset/relationship you have food. This surgery will not do the work for you or change all your bad habits. unfortunately. This is not an easy out because you have to do the work and if you do that work you will be rewarded in a very big way. Thats one of the differences to just dieting. I'm sorry people aren't being supportive or giving you helpful feedback. Hopefully if you have any concerns on the mental part and the changes your going to have to stick with, You have a Professional who specializes in eating addictions. Cheating can have big consequences. I wish you well and success.

[Pattimelt]

Hi! I totally understand about quitting smoking and gaining weight. I went through holy Hell quitting cold turkey 22 years ago. After about four or five days the cravings went away, but the mental anguish lasted about ten days. Smoking was a pleasure, my best friend, and it kept me from eating. I understand your fear in quitting, but it IS possible, and your surgery will be much safer if you're a non smoker. If you do decide to quit, (and I sure hope you do), keep yourself busy, do deep breathing, and tell your family to leave you alone!

I've told my family and a few friends about my surgery, and everyone has been supportive so far. After calculating how many those people told about it, pretty much the whole damn world must know now! You know what though? I'm doing this for ME, and I couldn't care less what other people think! I'm doing it for my health, and for my sanity, and if people don't like it they can just stick it! The only negative response I got was from my sister when I told her I was going to Mexico. I'm not worried that much about going out of the country because my surgeon has done literally thousands of sleeves. I feel I am in good hands.

Congratulations on your decision to be sleeved. I wish you all the best!

[Christie13]

Welcome Trastan! I am surprised that they are doing your surgery without requiring you to quit prior to surgery. I know a lot of surgeons won't do the surgery if you are smoking. I did not tell many people for the exact same reasons. I told my immediate family and 4 close friends. Work friends who have noticed my drastic weight loss think it's because of the lifestyle changes I have made. Low carb, replacing some meals with protein shakes, exercise....which is all true....just may have omitted the GVS surgery. People will judge you. They can't help themselves. Just blow them off and let them be haters when you lose the weight and get healthy.

[HillsdaleAlix]

It's difficult to tell yourself to ignore what others think. But remember, you're not alone. ALL of us here have had the same weight struggles you have. Not all of us have smoking on top of that, but we've all tried and failed to diet. I've lost as much as 100 lbs in a stretch before and gained it back. Yes, I feel really stewped saying that. A year of Atkins (in the 1970's before he was proven right!) for nothing. Going to aerobics 5 times a week for nothing. But we need help. What's the percentage of people who lose a significant amount of weight on their own and gain it back? Something like 95%? OK, so we're not in that 5%. Doesn't mean we can't succeed with a little help. Believe in the posts you've been reading (as I have -- my surgery is March 9, right behind you). Look at all the people who say "best thing I've ever done" and "My only regret is not doing it sooner." Believe that the only people who can truly understand you are people with the same problem you have. I love my 79-going-on-49 (seriously) year old lean, active aunt -- and she tries to understand, but she doesn't really. She thinks that just by changing eating habits the weight will come off. Sure, you'll lose weight eating right, but just how long can you "eat right" and be constantly hungry? If you want to tell people you're having the surgery, start off by saying "I've tried and failed too often and THAT is dangerous to my health. I've done my research and this is an excellent option for me that I believe will help me be healthier the rest of my life." What can they say to that? Let me know how you do...I'll be looking for your posts.

[Shirl]

I'm sorry, but whoever thinks committing to a permanent lifestyle change is the easy way out is full of BS! This next step you'll takes guts and it will be the hardest and best decision you'll ever make for yourself.

I just do trust and hope that your WLS decision was well informed and discussed with your doctors/surgeon fully. Being nervous is normal, is you have ever been in a committed relationship that moved to marriage then you know the feeling. Por Vida... Can be daunting!

You got this!

See you on this side!

[azladyrider]

Only comment needed? Go piss up a rope. My body my life so ... piss up a rope

[azladyrider]

Welcome Trastan! I am surprised that they are doing your surgery without requiring you to quit prior to surgery. I know a lot of surgeons won't do the surgery if you are smoking. I did not tell many people for the exact same reasons. I told my immediate family and 4 close friends. Work friends who have noticed my drastic weight loss think it's because of the lifestyle changes I have made. Low carb, replacing some meals with protein shakes, exercise....which is all true....just may have omitted the GVS surgery. People will judge you. They can't help themselves. Just blow them off and let them be haters when you lose the weight and get healthy.

I never quit prior to surgery or since then either. Is it good to quit for overall health? No doubt but ... the only time I quit for any length of time was for breast reconstruction since smoking restricts healing big time in that area.

[Tommy1969]

Everyone who makes this decision goes through probably every emotion known to man. I can only speak for myself here and can tell you that I am extremely happy that I made this decision and it took me 2 years to do so. This is no easy out, however has been very rewarding. I feel like I found the fountain of youth as each day I am evolving into the new me. I have embraced this decision and when I speak about it I do so confidently with excitement and I find that people are genuinely excited for me as well. As many have pointed out, this is for you. I wish you the best with your journey!

[Lorna Doone]

Best case scenario: Don't tell people. People who don't suffer with weight problems don't understand. Then there are the crazies who will try and scare you with my best friend's sister's cousin died from WLS. You get the picture. Then there are those who are jealous and don't have the guts to go through with it. Even family can be negative sometimes. My brother is huge and needs a bypass and my mother has him scared to death. He's trying to plan it when I come home to visit my mother so I can calm her down. He's also planning a secret surgery and I will be the one to tell her why he's not coming home for supper the night of surgery. My mother is huge and has heart and medical conditions from being obese but she's scared of WLS. She's 88 so after she's gone we won't have to listen to her negativity.

[ghost_ryder]

Good luck this morning, be sure to update us when you can.

I can say most I have spoken with have had last minute gitters when it comes to this. Stay strong and do what you know is right

[bigdogluver]

Trastan,
Good luck on your surgery, I hope it goes well and that you have a fast recovery. Everyone has the same insecurities, so you are among friends. Taking control of your health is a powerful, wonderful thing. Don't let the "haters" get in your way, people will say and do things for a myriad of reasons. They doubt themselves and are reflecting onto you. Ignore their noise.

All the best!

[Donald G]

I hope your surgery went well and wish you great success on your journey.