Single and Getting the Sleeve

[kinipela24]

I am considering getting the gastric sleeve but I do not have a boyfriend, husband, kids, or close family nearby. My best friend said she would be with me every step of the way and will even spend the night in the hospital with me but she has her own life and lives about 30 mins away. My mom lives in Hawaii but will definitely be supportive via phone and when she can come visit me, she will. I do have a friend that lives only a few miles, a nice neighbor, and caring friends to talk to. I also have a psychologist, psychiatrist, and am looking into wls support groups. Anyone else in this situation who has had the surgery? I seem to only read posts about people who are in relationships or live with family. I guess they don't like big girls in Los Angeles! Please let me know if anyone can relate to this and how you are doing. Thanks!

[Kindle]

I'm single, no kids. My nearest family is 1200 miles away. I've got a couple friends and a work partner that live in the same town, but like you said, they have their own lives. I live in a very small, rural community (10,000 people in the entire county), so pretty much zero structured bariatric-related support. I had surgery in Mexico Dec 2013. Travelled by myself to and from but my sister did meet me in TJ and hung out with me for the 3 days I was there (we had a blast!). I came home to an empty house and cared for my horses, dogs and cats with no help. I had a friend come over and shovel snow but that's about it.

My friends and family were supportive and encouraged me from afar and I was fine with that. My surgeon and his staff were available to answer questions via phone and email and my PCP provides followup blood work. I got support through online forums, I read a lot of self help books and went through an online addiction recovery program (www.smartrecovery.org). I finally started seeing a therapist about 1 1/2 years postop but that was mostly for depression and grief after losing my best friend to suicide.

I am over 3 years out and doing great. Lost all my excess weight, am maintaining within 5 pounds of my low weight and just living a normal life. So yes, we single fat chicks can do this! Sounds like you recognize the importance of mental and psychological support and are taking the right steps, so you are already far ahead of a lot of people that stumble unprepared into WLS. Good luck and just know that you are not alone.

[kinipela24]

I'm single, no kids. My nearest family is 1200 miles away. I've got a couple friends and a work partner that live in the same town, but like you said, they have their own lives. I live in a very small, rural community (10,000 people in the entire county), so pretty much zero structured bariatric-related support. I had surgery in Mexico Dec 2013. Travelled by myself to and from but my sister did meet me in TJ and hung out with me for the 3 days I was there (we had a blast!). I came home to an empty house and cared for my horses, dogs and cats with no help. I had a friend come over and shovel snow but that's about it.

My friends and family were supportive and encouraged me from afar and I was fine with that. My surgeon and his staff were available to answer questions via phone and email and my PCP provides followup blood work. I got support through online forums, I read a lot of self help books and went through an online addiction recovery program (www.smartrecovery.org). I finally started seeing a therapist about 1 1/2 years postop but that was mostly for depression and grief after losing my best friend to suicide.

I am over 3 years out and doing great. Lost all my excess weight, am maintaining within 5 pounds of my low weight and just living a normal life. So yes, we single fat chicks can do this! Sounds like you recognize the importance of mental and psychological support and are taking the right steps, so you are already far ahead of a lot of people that stumble unprepared into WLS. Good luck and just know that you are not alone.

Thanks a lot and congrats on your success! I have to be concerned about mental support because I suffer fro bipolar disorder. I have an extra barrier and don't know how my body, mind, or meds will react to the surgery. I am very confused and concerned but I am also 309 lbs! I wish I didn't have this extra barrier but I do. Oh woe is me! jk jk lol Thanks for such a kind and supportive reply!

[Luna354]

You'll be ok. I'm married, I have a 9 year old. My husband took me to the hospital and stayed until I was in my room. Then I sent him home because I wanted him to get our daughter from school and for her afternoon and evening to be normal and undisturbed. I was fine alone at the hospital. The staff was great. I walked and slept. Only 2 other people even knew that I was going to have this surgery. Both of them had it and are part of my support system. so there are 3 people total that knew and a week after surgery I also told my brother. As long as you have some support, and it sounds like you do, you're going to be ok! I felt like I just didn't want a lot of people to know because I don't want their opinions :-)

[Kindle]

Thanks a lot and congrats on your success! I have to be concerned about mental support because I suffer fro bipolar disorder. I have an extra barrier and don't know how my body, mind, or meds will react to the surgery. I am very confused and concerned but I am also 309 lbs! I wish I didn't have this extra barrier but I do. Oh woe is me! jk jk lol Thanks for such a kind and supportive reply!

I think you will be fine as long as your psychiatric team is supportive and able to be flexible as you progress. I'm assuming they are aware of and on board with your decision. Hopefully they have (or will) familiarize themselves with any special requirements of VSG patients. My younger brother was bipolar and the guy I just started seeing 4 months ago is, too, so I do appreciate the additional challenge you have. But I also think you will find strength in taking control of this aspect of your life.

[Christie13]

You don't need to live with someone to have the surgery. As long as you have some support you will be fine. Just make sure you get the continued support of you psychiatrist and psychologist.

[Pattimelt]

Hi, I think you will be fine with the surgery. I'm married, and have grandkids five hours away, but in the end, we ARE all by ourselves in having the surgery. It's our own bodies and no one can help with that. It seems as though you have a good emotional support system, and that's of the utmost importance I would think. I have a friend, a nurse, that lives alone and went by herself to have the surgery in Mexico. She told no one for many months and returned to work in four days.

I'm having the surgery in April, and aside from my husband, don't really have many friends where I live, except church friends. I'll be alone after surgery too. I'm lucky my small family is supportive, but they live in different states. This forum will probably serve as my best support, it is invaluable.

Good luck with your decision, I wish you nothing but peace.

[albloomfield]

I'm single no kids, drive a semi for a living and on the road and on my own a lot. Had the surgery in Juarez Mexico, my dad flew down to be with me during surgery and we drove the semi home.

I'm on my own a lot but got people I can talk too. My sister had a friend who had the same surgery and I've talked to her, any questions or concerns, also been supportive.

Really the first day is the toughest, if you've got a friend to be there to help you recover after surgery I think you will be good. After that just having people you can talk too should be good.

This surgery is going to change your life for good, don't let these fears prevent you from going through this. I'm 11 days post surgery and I'm feeling great. The weight is just coming off and physically I'm feeling pretty normal.

[RehabNurse]

I am a single, childless female who lives alone. I drove myself home from the hospital after being sleeved nearly two years ago (mine was a same-day procedure). My extended family lives out of state.

I lost my excess weight without the help of family, friends, neighbors, or structured support groups. I suppose it depends on your personality and coping skills, but I am not the type of person who likes to be bothered by others.

Good luck to you!

[Kindle]

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[kinipela24]

Hi, I think you will be fine with the surgery. I'm married, and have grandkids five hours away, but in the end, we ARE all by ourselves in having the surgery. It's our own bodies and no one can help with that. It seems as though you have a good emotional support system, and that's of the utmost importance I would think. I have a friend, a nurse, that lives alone and went by herself to have the surgery in Mexico. She told no one for many months and returned to work in four days.

I'm having the surgery in April, and aside from my husband, don't really have many friends where I live, except church friends. I'll be alone after surgery too. I'm lucky my small family is supportive, but they live in different states. This forum will probably serve as my best support, it is invaluable.

Good luck with your decision, I wish you nothing but peace.

Thank you so Much!

[AmandaNavigator]

Hi Jennifer,

I'm in the same boat. Single, live alone, and work from home. My immediate family lives 800 miles away. When I was filling out my living will/advanced directive it really hit me that I am on my own. I have a good friend who lives in Brooklyn who will be taking me to/from the hospital 3/13 but other than that I don't have any plans for additional support. I keep telling myself that I chose to live here and except for circumstances like these I really haven't worried about being on my own.

To help myself be successful, I have been on the hunt for a psychologist per Ann2's advice and have worked to make my environment supportive eg purged any foods that won't be appropriate afterwards. I also found out that my insurance, Blue Cross Blue Shield, has a program where they pay you $20/mo if you go to your gym at least 12x/month. I figure incentives are always good.

I think RehabNurse is correct. It's really about you and your personality. Since you're out West because you chose it, I'm confident you'll do just fine.

Good luck--I on my pre-op diet and excited to move forward!

Amanda

[Donald G]

I am not the type of person who likes to be bothered by others.

This portion makes you sound like my female counterpart lol.