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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member Jackie12's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    10/17/2016
    Surgeon
    Lisa Hawver, M.D.
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    Aug 2016
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    07-06-2018 02:46 PM
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    Default An interesting double standard

    As I finish up all of my preop testing and prepare for my sleeve surgery next month, I've noticed an interesting thing happening at work. We have a staff member (at a public high school) who is battling anorexia. This is a struggle she's dealt with for years, and she has finally taken a leave from school to seek treatment. Everyone at work has been extremely supportive of her as she addresses this issue, which is great.

    I haven't told anyone what I'm preparing to do, primarily because I'm a pretty private person, and I think this is my business and my choice. Plus, I don't want people constantly judging and analyzing my food choices after the surgery. I've noticed, however, that while people voice nothing but support for my colleague who is in treatment for her eating disorder, people are making disparaging comments about bariatric surgery. They don't realize that I'm getting ready to have it done, but the comments are pretty snarky. The prevailing opinion that it's "the easy way out" and that losing weight is simply a matter of making different choices.

    I'm just wondering if others have encountered such a double standard? It makes me sad, but unfortunately not surprised. There is such a stigma associated with being overweight, and it just doesn't seem to be there for being underweight. Thoughts or comments?


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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Surgery date
    08/18/2016
    Surgeon
    Hernandez
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    Oh hell yes ! and this choice I made was not easy!! to hell with what people say I did this for myself and I hope your are too!!
    Do it for you and you alone! and it will not be easy. so for people to say we took the easy way out they have no idea.
    we eat to cope , they learned another way to cope, and soon you will too, I am getting used to that now.
    YOu got this ... don't listen to anyone except yourself and stay here ... there is excellent support
    best wishes ... YOU GOT THIS!!


  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member barbaradear1's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Barbara
    Surgery date
    08/18/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Jose Rodriguez
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    Jun 2016
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    06-05-2017 11:06 AM
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    new mexico
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    It sounds like ignorance. I feel like we have the double standards everywhere in racial issues, politics, topic on drug addiction, and weight management. I have found that people that are so unsupportive of bariatric surgery don't struggle with being overweight therefore they don't know or understand the real issue. The only person I have ever heard say that she thinks it is the easy way out probably weighs 90 pounds and doesn't look like she has ever been over weight in her life. I didn't tell a lot of people before the surgery but now... I tell everyone. Who cares if they are supportive or not? I have armed myself with education so that if/when someone tries to dispute the surgery with me I am educated. As long as the people close to you are supportive and this is what you and your doctor agree is the best thing...then no one else's opinion should matter. Good luck with your surgery!



    Highest Wt: 299 (2010)
    Pre-Op Diet: 274; (08/01/2016)
    Day of Surgery: 264 (08/06/2016)
    Goal weight: 180 lb
    After Surgery:
    1 day: 266
    1wk: 252.1 (08/25/2016)
    2nd wk: 245 (09/01/2016)
    3rd wk: 243 (09/08/2016)
    4th wk: 242 (09/16/2016)
    M1- 242 (-22)
    M2-227 (-15)
    M3 (11/18/2016): 219 (-8)

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  6. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member SecretSleever's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    09/20/2016
    Surgeon
    Richard E. Gorman
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    Sep 2016
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    My own family makes those kind of remarks about bariatric surgery. Which is why none of my family/friends know I am having it (Besides the people in my own home). Its a hard thing to listen to (People saying it the easy way out). It is NOT the easy way out. You are risking a major surgery to better your life and yourself. To me, That is pretty freaking courageous!. You will be fine. Ignore the ignorance and rudeness and just keep pushing forward!



    Highest Weight: 344Lbs
    Pre-Op Diet weight: 307Lbs (-37lbs)
    Surgery Day weight: 299Lbs (-45lbs)

  7. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Sandra3's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Sandra
    Surgery date
    01/20/2016
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    Dr W
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    Dec 2015
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    Obesity is a disease and you are getting help from a doctor. The rest doesn't matter, it's just noise, don't listen to it.
    Barbara is right, often it's ignorance about the subject. BUT why do people have to express an opinion about a subject they know nothing about? Because they are bored in life and have nothing else to do.
    I think it's better to focus your energy on yourself and your journey and not waste your time trying to convince others of what you want to do to help your health. Anorexia and obesity are both diseases. The outcome is the same (death) but anorexia doesn't have the same prejudice attached to it's name, like obesity does.
    Everything in life is a question of perspective.What's important right now is you and your health. I stopped being upset about things that don't matter...because stress is bad for weight loss!


    HW : 150 kgs
    09/02/2014 : 142 /1st apt
    01/20/2016 : 134 /surgery
    01/30/2016 : 130 /1st post-op
    02/27/2016 : 126 /2nd
    04/23/2016 : 118 /3rd
    07/16/2016 : 109 / 4th
    10/01/2016 : 103 /5th
    01/21/2017 : 98 /1 year post-op
    February 2017 : 100 lbs lost
    07/22/2017 : 96
    10/21/2017 : 93
    12/22/2017 : 91
    01/02/2018 : 96!! regain (medication)

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  9. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member Kevin_Sly's Avatar
    Surgery date
    08/29/2016
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    Khun (Baystate Medical)
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    09-05-2017 02:50 AM
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    Quote Originally Posted by Jackie12 View Post
    ...the easy way out...
    Oh if only that were true... I would live with the stigma 99 times out of 100!

    I'm three weeks out and I think constantly about shoving a cheeseburger down my throat. Anyone who says this is the easy way out isn't worth your time. I get this occasionally, especially because I'm very open about my surgery. I just go home and put on a pair of pants I haven't worn in 15 years.



    May 2015 - 315 - Heaviest
    Oct 2015 - 303 - Initial Meeting
    Aug 2016 - 254 - Surgery Weight
    Sept 2016 - 234 - What I weighed 2002 when I met my Wife
    Nov 2016 - 220 - Weight at high school graduation, 1995.
    Aug 2017 - 200 - 1 year from surgery date

    UMass student at 39 years old? Hell yes I did!

  10. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member Pam G's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Pam
    Surgery date
    05/27/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr Ponce de Leon
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    Feb 2016
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    I have to agree with the comments about lifestyle change, though. Without that, we gain the weight back.

    So, yeah, it's true that losing weight requires lifestyle changes. We've all known or heard of people that had some kind of WLS then gained it all back.

    We still have to "diet" the rest of our lives. We still have to exercise the rest of our lives. We can never go back to old habits.

    Our lives are no different than if we were doing WW or Jenny Craig or paleo/keto/Atkins, except that our hunger is lessened temporarily, which helps us stick to a lower calorie plan, and in that respect, it is easier.

    Losing the wt, and harder still--maintaining that loss, will forever be a big mind game for us, just as if we'd never had surgery.j




    HW: 275
    PreOp: 268 5/12/16

    SW: 258. 5/27/2016
    10 w: 225. Goal 1
    12 w: 222.
    14 w: 216.
    4 m: 215
    5 m: 205
    22: 199.4 10/30 Goal 2
    24: 196
    6 mo: 191
    7 m: 193
    8 m: 184
    9 m: 180 2/3/17. Goal 3
    10 m: 179
    11 m: 171
    48: 170
    1 yr: 166.6. 5/27/17
    13 m: 165.8
    5 y,10 m: 215


    Revised Goal : 200
    "Bonus" Goal: 180

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  12. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Jackie12's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    10/17/2016
    Surgeon
    Lisa Hawver, M.D.
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Last Activity
    07-06-2018 02:46 PM
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    Clearly this is a widespread issue. I'm not upset about the comments people make; I'm just sad. Sad that they are ill-informed...sad that they can be so compassionate on one hand and so judgmental on the other. I honestly don't care what people think (that's one of the advantages of being "of a certain age"). This is something I've considered for years, and I finally got tired of putting my faith in my health insurance and thinking that eventually someone would figure out that paying for this surgery will most likely save them money in the long run. I'm self-pay through my local doctor and a local bariatric center, and I'm excited about taking this positive step...at last!


  13. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member Pam G's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Pam
    Surgery date
    05/27/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr Ponce de Leon
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    Feb 2016
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    Anorexia was not always considered an illness/disorder.

    I predict that with the trends in obesity research, that eventually, obesity will also be considered an illness/disorder and the stigma of treatment for it will be lessened over time, just as it has with eating disorders on the opposite end of the spectrum (anorexia, bulimia).




    HW: 275
    PreOp: 268 5/12/16

    SW: 258. 5/27/2016
    10 w: 225. Goal 1
    12 w: 222.
    14 w: 216.
    4 m: 215
    5 m: 205
    22: 199.4 10/30 Goal 2
    24: 196
    6 mo: 191
    7 m: 193
    8 m: 184
    9 m: 180 2/3/17. Goal 3
    10 m: 179
    11 m: 171
    48: 170
    1 yr: 166.6. 5/27/17
    13 m: 165.8
    5 y,10 m: 215


    Revised Goal : 200
    "Bonus" Goal: 180

  14. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
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    Oct 2013
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    Missouri
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    I didn't tell anyone about my WLS but my husband and two friends (who live 1,000 miles away from me in opposite directions). Not my siblings, my closest friends or random strangers.

    Frankly, I don't care what anybody else thinks about WLS. It's hard for anyone who's not obese to understand the complexity of obesity. Also, one obese person's issues aren't necessarily another obese person's issues. It's not my job to change anyone's mind about WLS. I'm not a WLS missionary. I had WLS to fix me and found it to be incredibly successful for me.

    And yes, changing my lifestyle has been critical to my success -- both losing weight and maintaining my weight loss. But after losing 100 pounds it was a whole lot easier to change my lifestyle.

    I know you didn't ask for any advice, but if you had I'd say that you not focus over-much on what others think in any way. Just work on yourself.



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post

  15. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member VeryLargeBob's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Bob
    Surgery date
    06/19/2012
    Surgeon
    Alamanza
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    Jun 2012
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    11-16-2021 08:01 PM
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    Oh yes, the old "Bariatric Surgery is the EAAAAAASY WAY OUT for those with no willpower".

    I've fought this particular battle perhaps a dozen times with friends and acquaintances.

    you'll get "but...but...health issues!", "but..but...it's permanent!", "but...but...you'll substitute another addiction!", "but..but...complications!" and various permutations of the above.

    Sometimes if I'm feeling puckish I'll just say "I appreciate your concern..." pause, wait two breaths, "...Jabba".
    Height: 6'4""
    Highest Weight: 346
    Pre-Op: 330
    Day of Surgery: 318


  16. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member Pam G's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Pam
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    05/27/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr Ponce de Leon
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    Feb 2016
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    Quote Originally Posted by VeryLargeBob View Post
    Oh yes, the old "Bariatric Surgery is the EAAAAAASY WAY OUT for those with no willpower".

    I've fought this particular battle perhaps a dozen times with friends and acquaintances.

    you'll get "but...but...health issues!", "but..but...it's permanent!", "but...but...you'll substitute another addiction!", "but..but...complications!" and various permutations of the above.

    Sometimes if I'm feeling puckish I'll just say "I appreciate your concern..." pause, wait two breaths, "...Jabba".
    This is funny, cause I didn't have willpower before surgery and removing most of my stomach didn't magically instill any of it in me! I wish there was a willpower implant I could get!




    HW: 275
    PreOp: 268 5/12/16

    SW: 258. 5/27/2016
    10 w: 225. Goal 1
    12 w: 222.
    14 w: 216.
    4 m: 215
    5 m: 205
    22: 199.4 10/30 Goal 2
    24: 196
    6 mo: 191
    7 m: 193
    8 m: 184
    9 m: 180 2/3/17. Goal 3
    10 m: 179
    11 m: 171
    48: 170
    1 yr: 166.6. 5/27/17
    13 m: 165.8
    5 y,10 m: 215


    Revised Goal : 200
    "Bonus" Goal: 180

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  18. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member jaimaroo's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Jaime
    Surgery date
    06/25/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ungson
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    Mar 2015
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    05-14-2019 04:15 PM
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    I wish it was EASY! There hasn't been anything easy about it....but I wouldn't change it. I also don't expect others to understand. That is why I joined this site.
    Good luck!!



  19. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member jaimaroo's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Jaime
    Surgery date
    06/25/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ungson
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    Mar 2015
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    05-14-2019 04:15 PM
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    I wish it was EASY! There hasn't been anything easy about it....but I wouldn't change it. I also don't expect others to understand. That is why I joined this site.
    Good luck!!



  20. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member azladyrider's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Sue Ashe
    Surgery date
    06/28/2012
    Surgeon
    Dr Almanza
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    Apache Junction, AZ
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    Default Re: An interesting double standard

    I can't count the times I have been told "eat a cheeseburger" "you're too thin" "eat eat eat" since I've gotten thin vs never ever being told "god put the fork down" "you're fat"

    As for anyone with any opinion on what you do with your life? 4 words.... "piss up a rope"



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