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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member Shirl's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Shirl
    Surgery date
    05/17/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Sergey Lyass
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    SoCal and Central Texas
    Posts
    1,310
    Said "Thanks" 976 Times
    Was Thanked 1,063 Times in 667 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 1,909 Times
    Blog Entries
    57

    Default Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    Hey Gastric Sleeve FamBam,

    I thought I was mentally prepared to travel with my partner and join him in his business receptions and dinners. He hobnobs with exec types and I am now feeling like I put myself in a very difficult social situation. I have gone over with him my limitations, and in my head I'm prepared to order soups and a light appetizer that contains protein i.e. shrimp cocktail or oysters.

    Some of these folks will probably be raising brows if I don't walk around with a glass of wine or a cocktail (mostly because I have done it so often.)

    Any recommendations on how to handle conversations around "Do you want a cocktail?" Or "You are not eating?" Or "You've lost so much weight!" Which I just got, from his colleague who is flying with us. I said "Yes, I had Bariatric surgery..." She seemed understanding and did not ask any follow up questions. Which left me wondering if it was TMI.

    Any words of wisdom are greatly welcomed and appreciated.
    HW: 245lbs (11/15); SW: 226lbs (5/17/16) - Height: 5'6"

    Post-Op Weight:
    M1: 211.3 (-14.7)
    M2: 203 (-8.3)
    M3: 196.5 (-6.5)
    M4: 191.5 (-5)
    M5: 186.3 (-5.2)
    M6: (?)
    M7: (?)
    M8: 179.4 (-6.9)
    M9: 177.1 (-2.3)
    M10: 174 (-3.1)
    M11: 171.5 (-2.5)
    M12: 171 (-.5)
    Y1.1: 170 (-1)

    "Today is another day to get it right!"






  2. Gastric Sleeve Surgery With Weight Loss Agents
  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member azladyrider's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Sue Ashe
    Surgery date
    06/28/2012
    Surgeon
    Dr Almanza
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Apache Junction, AZ
    Posts
    998
    Said "Thanks" 42 Times
    Was Thanked 326 Times in 229 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 7 Times
    Blog Entries
    6

    Default Re: Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    Personally so long as you are ok with it if they do have questions why not state the truth? My close friends all knew beforehand that I was going to get it done and afterwards when people that weren't close friends mentioned my weight loss I would tell them I had the sleeve done. One of my closest girlfriends asked me one of those times why I told someone I barely knew and I told her # 1 why lie? # 2 she was sitting right there knowing the truth and I would feel like a fraud if I said Oh thank you yes I am eating healthier these days ...

    About a year after I had mine done someone commented on something on Facebook and my comment back mentioned the sleeve... from that I got 7 private messages from friends and acquaintances asking me for the details... all of them have now had it done.

    As for the "why aren't you eating" comments? UGH I hate that - still do. Long time friends from grade school and high school all got together last fall for a get together and one of the gals said something and I ignored that but then someone else showed up and said something again and I snapped lol shocked her when I fairly hissed at her BACK OFF. I apologized later and explained that it made me uncomfortable and self conscious when I was trying to enjoy a social nite out and people were constantly harping on "you need to eat" - when I explained that yes they only saw me eating small portions at a time what they didn't see was that I ate those small portions 8 times a day... I'm fine! My 40th class reunion is next week and I am dreading it for that reason alone



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  5. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Marney
    Surgery date
    06/10/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr.valezuela
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Last Activity
    03-08-2018 01:59 PM
    Location
    ny
    Posts
    81
    Said "Thanks" 2 Times
    Was Thanked 41 Times in 31 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 21 Times
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    HI Shirl,
    I travel frequently with my husband,we have a trip planned for October. I plan to have a cocktail in my hands and maybe even a few appetizers. I won't eat them.. When dinner comes just eat what you can and rave about those delicious appetizers. Honestly I don't think people notice as much as we assume they do,there too busy. I haven't shared with anyone but my husband.I'm very happy with that decision.I don't think people who are not really invested need to know.I'm dieting and exercising. I'm happy with my progress and I don't want to blow it...Period! Your working this sleeve very hard and you need to take credit for that,this was not a short cut it is a tool.
    I went to a July 4th barbecue and was very nervous about eating,it went wonderfully and no one noticed I was eating less. Enjoy yourself Shirl and do like the skinny girls do...don't make it about the food.Make about your beau showing off his gorgeous date. Good luck to you Shirl you are an incredible women and I've loved your posts. Have a fabulous time.




  6. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member Donna Rudewick's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Donna Rudewick
    Surgery date
    07/20/2016
    Surgeon
    Asahel Lee Gridley, MD
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Last Activity
    08-28-2017 02:30 PM
    Location
    Pearl River, La
    Posts
    253
    Said "Thanks" 55 Times
    Was Thanked 106 Times in 92 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 210 Times
    Blog Entries
    70

    Default Re: Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    You got this Shirl!! Tell the truth and look em in the eye!! My mantra is "they don't pay my bills so bleh on what they think!"


    Post op lost 16 lbs.
    Month 1-20
    Month 2-8
    Month 3-10

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  8. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member MargeB's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Marge
    Surgery date
    11/23/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. David Martin
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Last Activity
    11-11-2016 02:55 PM
    Location
    Azusa, CA
    Posts
    292
    Said "Thanks" 242 Times
    Was Thanked 173 Times in 121 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 152 Times
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    I'm a recovering alcoholic. I don't drink. Very few people are rude enough to ask. You can either tell the truth (my response, since I have no filters), or you can simply say, "I'm just not very hungry right now," which is also the truth

    Possible you're stressing how you're going to handle it more than how other people are going to react? You have a plan. It's a good one. Focus on the socializing and talking and you'll be great.



    Highest Weight 273
    Day of Surgery 252 (-21)
    Month 1 - 236 (-16)
    Month 2 - 230 (-6)
    Month 3 - 222 (-8)
    Month 4 - 210 (-12)
    Month 5 - 202 (-8)
    Month 6 - 196 (-6)
    Month 7 - 187 (-9)
    Month 8 - 182 (-5)

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  10. Gastric Sleeve Surgery With Weight Loss Agents
  11. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member Pam G's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Pam
    Surgery date
    05/27/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr Ponce de Leon
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Last Activity
    02-22-2024 08:48 AM
    Location
    Sugar Land, TX
    Posts
    1,543
    Said "Thanks" 679 Times
    Was Thanked 771 Times in 544 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 57 Times
    Blog Entries
    12

    Default Re: Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    Walk around with cranberry juice in a wine glass, who'll know it's not wine?

    And when someone mentions your wt loss, just say thank you, I've been working hard at it, low carb/hi protein, works well for me.

    And, you ARE eating, you're just not eating as much as you used to.




    HW: 275
    PreOp: 268 5/12/16

    SW: 258. 5/27/2016
    10 w: 225. Goal 1
    12 w: 222.
    14 w: 216.
    4 m: 215
    5 m: 205
    22: 199.4 10/30 Goal 2
    24: 196
    6 mo: 191
    7 m: 193
    8 m: 184
    9 m: 180 2/3/17. Goal 3
    10 m: 179
    11 m: 171
    48: 170
    1 yr: 166.6. 5/27/17
    13 m: 165.8
    5 y,10 m: 215
    7 yrs: 230


    Revised Goal : 200
    "Bonus" Goal: 180

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  13. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member WANAGL's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Cyndi
    Surgery date
    12/30/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Robert Marema
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Last Activity
    01-09-2020 06:15 PM
    Location
    Hampton Beach, FL
    Posts
    1,640
    Said "Thanks" 1,143 Times
    Was Thanked 908 Times in 689 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 2,250 Times

    Default Re: Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    I have standard replies to people who I know that are Negative Nellies and/or Debbie Downers:
    "Perhaps." and "Thanks for your input." are the two I use the most. I have very strong boundaries.

    In a social setting, (particularly a business social setting) I go with my gut. I'm in those situations frequently, as a business owner and as a local, county, regional, state business organization executive officer. It can be challenging at times. I rely on my gut instincts.

    You've shared (in other posts) your involvement with various recovery groups. You have good instincts, Shirl. Draw on those, and on what you've learned in recovery.

    Sending All Good Thoughts and Prayers!

    FB_IMG_1464297147139.jpg




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  15. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Shirl's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Shirl
    Surgery date
    05/17/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Sergey Lyass
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    SoCal and Central Texas
    Posts
    1,310
    Said "Thanks" 976 Times
    Was Thanked 1,063 Times in 667 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 1,909 Times
    Blog Entries
    57

    Default Re: Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    Thank you all for your wonderful and sage advice!

    Well it looks like we will be missing the first reception and dinner. Our 2nd plane had to return to Denver for engine concerns! Just glad to be on the ground again.
    HW: 245lbs (11/15); SW: 226lbs (5/17/16) - Height: 5'6"

    Post-Op Weight:
    M1: 211.3 (-14.7)
    M2: 203 (-8.3)
    M3: 196.5 (-6.5)
    M4: 191.5 (-5)
    M5: 186.3 (-5.2)
    M6: (?)
    M7: (?)
    M8: 179.4 (-6.9)
    M9: 177.1 (-2.3)
    M10: 174 (-3.1)
    M11: 171.5 (-2.5)
    M12: 171 (-.5)
    Y1.1: 170 (-1)

    "Today is another day to get it right!"






  16. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member Sarcastic_Bard's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/29/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Vierra
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Last Activity
    01-23-2018 01:50 PM
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    292
    Said "Thanks" 111 Times
    Was Thanked 272 Times in 168 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 448 Times

    Default Re: Feeling intimidated... Need advice

    I'm kind of late to the game, but when I've been in situations like that I've walked around with a glass of water with a twist of lime in it; looks like vodka on the rocks. When someone I don't really know asks about my weight loss I usually "bean dip" into a related topic, like this cool new swim class I'm taking or this great delicious new set of protein dense recipes I'm trying; heck, I've been like "You play Pokemon Go? I'm addicted, I swear I walk over five miles every day now."

    When I do feel like talking about it, I briefly mention my genetic condition & disorders and how the surgery offered me a chance to correct those health issues along with eating clean and working out. I will state that I never would have been able to safely and successfully keep the weight off on diet and exercise alone without the sleeve treatment option. Mentioning my tons of health issues necessitating the surgery seems to be enough to keep nay sayers at bay.

    I have also leaned in, whispered "I'm in a Fight Club. I'm not supposed to talk about it. First rule, you know?" and walked away. Yes, I am that big of a dork.



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