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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member Bluegrass state's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    05/24/2018
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Last Activity
    02-26-2020 09:39 AM
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    Default 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Hi Everyone - I'm 4 years post-op, and I've GAINED! I just posted this on someone else's thread, but thought I might should start my own thread and see if anyone else is lurking here that has back-slid as badly as I have! Maybe we can encourage each other..

    I held steady for the first 2 years, pretty easily (within 5 lbs). I was so proud of that! But, then in April 2014 - (my exact 2 years post op month), my Ex-husband/Son's father died at age 40, and I can remember that as being about the time I started gaining.. Then, in May 2015, my Father died. Both were sad and hard, but I don't *think*? that my gaining was emotional eating, but I don't know. I do know that having my EX die so young - (self-imposed/alcoholic liver damage/G.I. hemorrhage caused him to have an unsurviveable stroke)- made me even more aware that we don't have to be 'old' to die..

    I can eat a lot more than I used to. And, I'm hungrier - a lot, probably because I don't eat right. I know I eat too many carbs, and fall into the 'what is convenient and easy to grab' to take to work to eat for breakfast and lunch..Dinner isn't much better. I have a lot of excuses. *sigh* My annual labs were great, except my Thyroid level was considered 'high', and I noticed that they have been steadily rising ever since Surgery.. ??? I don't know if that affects my tiredness/hunger, etc., but am insisting on having it re-tested in August. You never know!

    I still do not drink any carbonation, as I was instructed to never have again. That's the one thing I can brag about!

    I skipped my yearly appointment with my Surgeon's office in April because I know they will make me feel bad for gaining so much. Last year, I had gained and the dietician made this big GASP and said, "OMIGOSH, I knew you had emailed and said you'd gained, but I didn't know it was THIS much!" ... She wanted me back in 6 months and to have held at the very least the SAME weight-wise... I cancelled the appointment, because I'd gained.. and I have gained more, now, but I am going to go in next week.. may as well face the music and shame myself. Thing is, they aren't going to tell me anything I don't already know. My regular doctor told me to ask them if I need to try diet pills to get me back on track!! What??? Wow. I don't think that's the answer. I KNOW what I "need" to do, but once we are food addicts, I think we are always addicts.

    I have gained about 80 lbs! There. I said it. It SUCKS! I'm mortified. I'm embarrassed. I hate what I look like again. I have one pair of pants that I wash and wear every single day! (I almost typed 'LOL', but it's not laughable. It's sad.) I had lost -148 lbs in one year (33 pre-op), and now I'm up 80.

    Last time I was at the surgeon's I had gained 40.. so Ms. Dietician is going to $h!t a brick! And, if she does that big dramatic 'OMIGOSH' / GASP I'm going to tell her that no one needs that big dramatic response. There.

    Woe is me. I suck.


    01/26/12: 342.6 - Highest Weight
    03/01/12: 333 lbs - 1st Wt @ Surgeon's office
    04/17/12: 310.4 lbs - Surgery Day
    05/14/12: -50.6 gone
    10/06/12: -100.8 gone
    04/17/13: (ONE YR Post Op) -143.6 gone

    5/1/17: Regaining.. it sucks





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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Kindle's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/20/2013
    Surgeon
    Ariel Ortiz & Arturo Martinez
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,659
    Said "Thanks" 699 Times
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 2 Times
    Blog Entries
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Have you tried counseling or therapy? That has been the number one thing to keep me below goal weight. My best friend committed suicide when I was 16 months postop. The only way I knew how to cope was with food and alcohol...the ol' standbys. I sunk deeper and deeper into depression because I refused to go there. Finally, at two years postop I Started seeing a grief therapist. Seriously, the best thing I ever did. She has helped me not only with my losses (my brother died just 4 years), but how to manage my emotions in a healthy, constructive manner. Everything about my day, including work stress is better because of what I've learned from her.

    Our obesity is never really about food, it's about emotions and addiction. Surgery did not fix the reasons we became obese in the first place. It only temporarily helped with one of the symptoms of what's really wrong. Your nut can help you with the "physical" part of what and how to eat, but that's not really where the problem is....you already know how to do that. It's finding new coping mechanisms and learning how to feel your emotions, rather than feed them, that's hard. My advice is to find a good psych who can help you with your struggles.




  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    6,630
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    Was Thanked 5,052 Times in 2,720 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 3,616 Times
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Diane,

    Good on you for going "public" with your regain challenge.

    I won't give you any specific advice about how to handle your regain, since I haven't been there (yet). But I don't doubt that you, as a four-year sleeve veteran, already know what to do, e.g., cut out sugar, clean out your kitchen, raise your protein, drink all your water, track your calories / macronutrients, move a lot more, put some structure back into your daily schedule, etc.

    However, I will underscore Kindle's comments about the value of seeing a therapist post-op and about obesity's causes being more than *just* about food. I started seeing a psychologist around the time I was sleeved to ensure I had access to all the positive resources and behavioral tools I needed to be successful post-op. Two years later I continue to see him monthly. In that time, he has helped me navigate some of the biggest stresses our family has suffered, including the deaths of an adult child and two elderly parents, several unexpected surgeries, retirement, two moves, as well as my husband's diagnosis with cancer, remission, then cancer's reappearance, and just last week remission again (yea!). My point is that life is full of stresses, many of which we just aren't "prepared" for. It's only smart to seek support to deal with those blows.

    Finally, if you lost this weight once you can do it again. You have ALL the tools you need to do so. But first you have to decide whether you want to live the fullest life you're capable of. You'll also need to get past all the blaming and shaming you're doing to yourself right now and get back to the ready-set-go line.

    This isn't a dress rehearsal. It's the show.



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post


  5. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member Mbenson5's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Melissa
    Surgery date
    06/13/2012
    Surgeon
    Poplowski
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,752
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 220 Times

    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    I know you are in panic mode, and I would be too. Is going to the nutritionist going to be helpful, and how? If you think she is just going to make you feel worse than you already do, how is that useful? I like the idea of a non-judgmental therapist who can help you work through your issues, not cause you more pain. The thing is to stop, and start over now. Not tomorrow, not the next minute. Go back to a diet of meat and vegetables, period. Have coffee with sugar free creamer. But it really is that simple, just hard to mentally get yourself there. Exercise was not helpful in helping me lose, but it does tone my bottom half, and I need to start again. Biggest bonus is that it is a good stress reliever! It sounds like you could use that more than anything. Take care my friend-if you need anything, please send me a message! I always have a fellow bluegrass person's back!
    A person's a person, no matter how small! Dr. Suess



  6. #5
    sraebaer
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    You're still down 68 pounds if you're looking for a positive! Just get back on track with the rules, but you're right, it gets more difficult as you can eat more. For breakfast I was able to eat a whole piece of frittata, where I know a year ago I couldn't have eaten more than half. (But thinking positive again, it was just eggs and veggies.) I compensate the fact that I can eat more with more exercise, it seems to work for me to maintain my weight. But you're further out than me, so I know the struggle will continue.

    Good luck - you can do it!

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  9. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member WANAGL's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Cyndi
    Surgery date
    12/30/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Robert Marema
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Last Activity
    01-09-2020 06:15 PM
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    Hampton Beach, FL
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Thank you for being honest and telling on yourself.

    We're all here to support and be supported.

    I ditto Kindle and Anne2.

    I'm grateful to have the best therapist in the world! It's helped me get down to causes and conditions. I feel better prepared to cope with life's ups and downs. A great therapist is invaluable!

    My Dr operated on my stomach, not on my head!

    Best of luck as you continue your journey!

    th (6).jpg





  10. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member thenewmetoday's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    joanne
    Surgery date
    04/17/2012
    Surgeon
    almanza
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Last Activity
    10-30-2017 03:16 PM
    Location
    Barrie ontrio canada
    Posts
    592
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 2,313 Times
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Thanks for keeping it real. Bravo. I hear your pain. This weight fight is never ending.

    I have never been a fan of nuts. Generally they are telling us what we already know and unless they have empathy you can be left feeling judged. Does your surgeon offer counselling?

    Hope you can find a mindful, empathetic person to support you and help with this depression.

    You can do over and do it well.


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  12. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    6,630
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Quote Originally Posted by WANAGL View Post
    I'm grateful to have the best therapist in the world! It's helped me get down to causes and conditions. I feel better prepared to cope with life's ups and downs. A great therapist is invaluable!
    "Causes and conditions."

    I like that distinction so much. Thank you, WANAGL.



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post

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  14. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member Shirl's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Shirl
    Surgery date
    05/17/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr. Sergey Lyass
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    SoCal and Central Texas
    Posts
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    My heart is with you.

    I'm almost 7weeks post op, but I know I had my share of feelings of defeat and shame after I'd regain too many times to count. Each time with a heavier load of guilt and sometimes hopeless. I invite you to consider what others have said and seek out ways to reboot and get back to basics. One of the reasons I sought to do the gastric sleeve was because no matter what I tried it was harder to even lose five pounds, being prediabetic did not help the process, in fact my surgeon said it made it impossible.

    Can you get a physical checkup up to rule out any medical condition you may have developed over the last two years? Sometimes weight gain has a lot to do with gender, age, hormones, illnesses, and circumstances too. I'd would start there, along with seeking cognitive therapy. A book that has helped me tremendously has been 'A Course In Weightloss' by Marianne Williamson. It is not an easy read, it will challenge you to answer difficult question about food compulsion and addiction. It is difficult to take responsibility for things we think were out of our control, but in the end about the only thing we do have control of is what and when we do put something in our mouths.

    Welcome back, and please know you will be in my heart and prayers.
    HW: 245lbs (11/15); SW: 226lbs (5/17/16) - Height: 5'6"

    Post-Op Weight:
    M1: 211.3 (-14.7)
    M2: 203 (-8.3)
    M3: 196.5 (-6.5)
    M4: 191.5 (-5)
    M5: 186.3 (-5.2)
    M6: (?)
    M7: (?)
    M8: 179.4 (-6.9)
    M9: 177.1 (-2.3)
    M10: 174 (-3.1)
    M11: 171.5 (-2.5)
    M12: 171 (-.5)
    Y1.1: 170 (-1)

    "Today is another day to get it right!"






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  16. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    11/04/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Hoehn
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Last Activity
    08-03-2017 07:22 PM
    Location
    MO
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    I am alittle over 2 years out and lost 85, regained 35 of that and felt bad I regained that much, so I can imagine you feel bad. But you did so well before so you know what you need to do to get back to where you were. Have to have patience with yourself and not beat yourself up. Give yourself positive feedback for every good thing you do no matter how little it might seem. It isnt as easy as some make it sound, you still have to put in the work, ugh, I know. Good luck with your journey and hugs through the rough times.



  17. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member Bluegrass state's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    05/24/2018
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Last Activity
    02-26-2020 09:39 AM
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 2,773 Times

    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Thanks to all of you who have responded! And, I see that my post has gotten over 140+ views at last notice, so I guess it is at least a thought or concern on many people's minds. It's a fear we all have going into this surgery - regaining/back-sliding/being the "...only one who doesn't lose"! LOL (I've seen so many say that)

    I read all of your responses - twice! I appreciate the time and concern. Yes, at least I'm still 68-70 lbs DOWN!

    My annual lab work that I do for my surgeon was all terrific. I had wondered what it would be since I have stopped ALL of my vitamins - multi-vitamin, D3, Calcium, B12 - that I used to take religiously, but it was amazingly still the same, after probably a year of not taking them. All, except my Thyroid number I mentioned in my first post - it has been rising each year since pre-op. I think it was .77 or something like that. For Hyperparathyroidism, I read that Calcium is often high, too, (mine was normal), but that it CAN be off, even with normal calcium levels. So, I will re-check that in early August, which will be like 3 mos since I last had it done.

    My Regular primary care doctor had mentioned a mild anti-depressant Two months ago, but I am so scared to start on those because I hear they can cause weight gain, and lord knows I don't need that! And, I think I have anxiety sometimes, but don't really think I'm 'depressed' in the way that I think of depression..but maybe I am? As for for the deaths of my EX and my Dad - I'm okay on those, and do not think I was gaining because of that. I just feel like food has always made me happy - it's an enjoyment, and ..well, ya'll probably know how that is.

    I DID go to see a counselor/therapist after my Ex died, because we had had so many issues through the years, but at that point, I had not 'gained'.

    I think you guys may be right about (not) going to my yearly checkup. They will just TRY and tell me what I already know.. and that I'm obviously not doing. I don't really NEED to go. I've heard some people who never go back after the first year or two. I think I will cancel the appointment, and get back on track on my own. I have gone back to eating whatever/whenever and it shows what can happen. I'm very disappointed in myself, and even though no one at all has mentioned noticing my weight gain -thank gawd - I KNOW they have to see it. I have a co-worker who also had the sleeve about 1.5 years after me (I motivated her with my results!), and I notice her gaining now, too, and sadly, I find myself feeling 'Well, at least I'm not the only one'! She and I are not close anymore, so we don't talk about it at all.

    Thank you again - any input will definitely be appreciated! Love this board! I've been thinking of menu ideas and have my grocery list going!


    01/26/12: 342.6 - Highest Weight
    03/01/12: 333 lbs - 1st Wt @ Surgeon's office
    04/17/12: 310.4 lbs - Surgery Day
    05/14/12: -50.6 gone
    10/06/12: -100.8 gone
    04/17/13: (ONE YR Post Op) -143.6 gone

    5/1/17: Regaining.. it sucks




  18. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    Surgery date
    03/07/2016
    Surgeon
    Dr Nagel
    Join Date
    May 2016
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    07-03-2016 04:04 PM
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Go back to the dietician and get help. That's their job! There are many things they can do to help you . Its very easy to fall off the wagon as time goes on. Its not just focus they have other new tools to help you . Best wishs !


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  20. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member Kindle's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/20/2013
    Surgeon
    Ariel Ortiz & Arturo Martinez
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,659
    Said "Thanks" 699 Times
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    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    My therapist put me on Wellbutrin and it has made a huge difference in my ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Before, every day was a dark, bottomless pit, but with it, my days are not exactly sunshine and roses, but at least they are a lighter shade of grey. It helps me be able to use the other mental tools she has given me more effectively.

    I had taken Prozac (an SSRI) long ago, but never thought they did much and I couldn't sleep on them. The Wellbutrin is totally different and other than a week or two of feeling wired when I first started taking it, I have not noticed any side effects. It works on your brain's dopamine levels, rather than serotonin. The best part is Wellbutrin is specifically known for not causing weight gain. It is, however, not a good choice if you suffer from anxiety.

    Just something to consider.




  21. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member Bluegrass state's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    05/24/2018
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Last Activity
    02-26-2020 09:39 AM
    Posts
    380
    Said "Thanks" 222 Times
    Was Thanked 50 Times in 43 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 2,773 Times

    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kindle View Post
    My therapist put me on Wellbutrin and it has made a huge difference in my ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The best part is Wellbutrin is specifically known for not causing weight gain.
    I tried Wellbutrin about 11 years ago after my divorce and took it for about 3 days and it made me ITCH terribly!!! I don't know why, but it was awful! I still tell Docs that I'm allergic to Wellbutrin! I think it was Celexa (citalopram) that he was going to give me this time. I never got it filled.


    01/26/12: 342.6 - Highest Weight
    03/01/12: 333 lbs - 1st Wt @ Surgeon's office
    04/17/12: 310.4 lbs - Surgery Day
    05/14/12: -50.6 gone
    10/06/12: -100.8 gone
    04/17/13: (ONE YR Post Op) -143.6 gone

    5/1/17: Regaining.. it sucks




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  23. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member thenewmetoday's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    joanne
    Surgery date
    04/17/2012
    Surgeon
    almanza
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Last Activity
    10-30-2017 03:16 PM
    Location
    Barrie ontrio canada
    Posts
    592
    Said "Thanks" 445 Times
    Was Thanked 309 Times in 215 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 2,313 Times
    Blog Entries
    47

    Default Re: 4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

    i am on a small dose of citalopram, it has not caused weight gain for me. it helps keep me level. i also take a med for anxiety. i see a counsellor when i feel the darkness creeping up. what fun life is eh. lol


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