4 years Post-Op - and I've GAINED ~~ A LOT! I am mortified and ashamed...

[JulieJ]

You do not suck. You are human. I am right there with you, girlfriend. I am nearly 5 years out now. I had originally lost nearly 76#, and over the past 3 years, had gained back 62 pounds. I have recently lost 15#, and I do have to say that at least now it is slightly easier to lose weight than it was before VGS. Although your last few years have been much more catastrophic than mine, I have had a rough few years of health problems with my special needs daughter. Sadly a stress eater. I had another friend from this site that had a gastric sleeve conversion to bypass surgery, and it is something I am strongly considering.
Anyway, Lady, be kind to you. There are others out here suffering from the exact same issues, and this is a SUPPORT group, and the definition of support is “to give approval, comfort or encouragement to. I’m sure there is nothing anyone can say that would make us feel any worse than we already do. (((HUGS!)))

[Ann2]

So glad to see this thread is still active. It's encouraging to hear how Bluegrass State and JulieJ (and others) are finding paths that work for them in gaining control over their nutrition and eating and food-related behaviors. Really, really encouraging.

My approach to maintenance is not identical to y'all's, but it works very well for me.

I support y'all and hope you continue to find more and more strength to nourish your bodies and your lives. ((((hugs))))

Ann

[Lillipot]

Hi, I am also 4 years down, almost to the day of the op and never weighed myself for the first 2 years then went to doc to ask for breast reduction and was told I was still obese! That was a shock but kept going to gym and eating what I wanted. However..... have lost my mojo for the gym, am still eaten no what I want and realise that I’m out of control. I never saw my surgeon or dietician after 6 months and I have got to staff where I want to go for a resleeve or a bypass as I now see that if I can eat I will choose ‘bad’ food types. I don’t think I ever pushed myself to reach a target so I have gained 2 stone but a diet club would say I actually have 5 stobdvyo lose. I sit at work windering if I can go on Cambridge diet but I just have taken shakes that often I feel sick. Then I thought today of phoning the dietician which makes me smile as you mentioned the dread of going and I thought if I booked maybe that would make me lose weight before I go lol!!! I feel your pain and I wish I could give you the answer but I’m floundering myself. I see people on the site that started with me all those years ago and I feel so angry as they are so slim and no one would look at me and think I’d paid for an op and failed to make it work!! Hopefully others can help us find a way back.....

[Ann2]

Lillipot, your post is a little garbled, but I think what you’re saying (???) is that you want another weight loss surgery that will discourage you or stop you from eating “bad” food.

IF that’s what you’re saying, you are out of luck. There’s not any WLS that can stop you from eating around the tool. You can eat constantly, snack on sugary and processed foods, drink your calories (alcoholic or non-alcoholic), become a sloth, and regain over and over. We all had and still have that option.

The WLS patients you’re so angry at who are maintaining their weights made ALL the lifestyle changes you thought did not apply to you. And you sound like you think those changes STILL won’t don’t apply to you after a second surgery.

It doesn’t work like that. For anyone.

You still have a tool that works — your sleeve. But to help it work, you need to go back to square one and learn and practice every lesson you seem to have missed the first time around.

I’m not usually this rough on someone who’s regained and asking for help. But you sound like you just wandered in off the street and don’t have a clue what’s involved here.

[AnnieG]

Lillipot, your post is a little garbled, but I think what you’re saying (???) is that you want another weight loss surgery that will discourage you or stop you from eating “bad” food.

IF that’s what you’re saying, you are out of luck. There’s not any WLS that can stop you from eating around the tool. You can eat constantly, snack on sugary and processed foods, drink your calories (alcoholic or non-alcoholic), become a sloth, and regain over and over. We all had and still have that option.

The WLS patients you’re so angry at who are maintaining their weights made ALL the lifestyle changes you thought did not apply to you. And you sound like you think those changes STILL won’t don’t apply to you after a second surgery.

It doesn’t work like that. For anyone.

You still have a tool that works — your sleeve. But to help it work, you need to go back to square one and learn and practice every lesson you seem to have missed the first time around.

I’m not usually this rough on someone who’s has regained and asking for help. But you sound like you just wandered in off the street and don’t have a clue what’s involved here.

Ann, thanks for your post. It was kindly honest. And yes, its hard to see other people and feel they have somehow gotten to a place you are not, but honestly, if you use the tool, it works.

[Kindle]

Gonna pop on here quick to reinforce Ann’s statement (and I love that you are being a bad ass, BTW )
I am 4 1/2 years out. I passed my goal weight and maintained for 3 years doing exactly what needs to be done to make the sleeve work. But over the last year I’ve slid back into all my old habits and have regained. Fortunately it’s only 15 pounds but it’s 100% my fault for doing all those things Ann mentioned. I still have a sleeve, but it’s oh so easy to eat around it when your head’s not in the game. And I would be able to eat around a resleeve or bypass just as easily. I actually x country skied all winter and mountain biked all spring. Starting into horseback riding season now. But you can’t out-exercise bad food choices. I can rationalize that I’m only 5 pounds over my “original” goal weight and still 85 pounds lighter than surgery day, but regain is regain and I certainly felt (and looked) better 10 pounds lighter. Bottom line is I’ve been mentally weak and really need to find that motivation that kept me on the WLS straight and narrow for so long. Bottom line for all of us is that successful WLS results rely entirely on winning the psychological and emotional battles....day after day after day until we die!

[Ann2]

Kindle, I miss you very much. Come back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean!

[jessiejess]

Lillipot, your post is a little garbled, but I think what you’re saying (???) is that you want another weight loss surgery that will discourage you or stop you from eating “bad” food.

IF that’s what you’re saying, you are out of luck. There’s not any WLS that can stop you from eating around the tool. You can eat constantly, snack on sugary and processed foods, drink your calories (alcoholic or non-alcoholic), become a sloth, and regain over and over. We all had and still have that option.

The WLS patients you’re so angry at who are maintaining their weights made ALL the lifestyle changes you thought did not apply to you. And you sound like you think those changes STILL won’t don’t apply to you after a second surgery.

It doesn’t work like that. For anyone.

You still have a tool that works — your sleeve. But to help it work, you need to go back to square one and learn and practice every lesson you seem to have missed the first time around.

I’m not usually this rough on someone who’s regained and asking for help. But you sound like you just wandered in off the street and don’t have a clue what’s involved here.

Ann,
I haven't been on this board in so long and I'm feeling horrible about my gain. I'm trying so hard to get back on track but I keep sabotaging myself. It's refreshing to see your name pop up as one of the first comments to read. I remember when you first had your surgery and how you were a cheerleader for me and always fabulous. I'm glad to see you're doing so well. I'm trying to get my head back in the game - again - so I'm back - again. I don't know for how long since coming on this board actually reminds me of how successful I was only to fail to keep it off. It makes me sad and feel like a major failure but this used to be my support group and was a major contributing factor to my huge success (118lbs total lost) so I've got to find a way to stop hating myself for gaining 60 and start using this forum the way it was meant to be used, for support, and start helping people again like I used to. Hey, I'm still a size 10-12 so it's not too far out of control. I am still in Onederland thank GOD. I worked out once this week and am going to try my hardest to find the motivation to do it again. I'm trying to point out the positives instead of focusing on the failure. I'm here today so that's a step. And I'll come back tomorrow. You were a huge part of my support system. Thank you.

[Ann2]

Thank you so much, Jessie. Y'know ... you CAN do this.

I recently read a post (on another board) about a woman about your vintage out from surgery who gained back 125 pounds. Although she was never a big drinker pre-op, she became a closet alcoholic (putting away 4-5 liters of vodka weekly) and starting overeating for a lot of reasons you might also understand.

Anyway, she finally had a HUGE awakening and decided to live instead of die. And now, she's back down to 150 pounds (she wants to get to her old lowest weight of, I think, 145 pounds). She will do it. I have no doubt. And she will stay there or thereabouts. Again, I have no doubt. This ENTIRE experience has taught her many things she didn't know she needed to learn, but nonetheless she apparently did need to learn them all.

I think as long as we think of this process as "being done" we won't be successful long-term. For all (most?) of us, any addiction issues aside, success and health and happiness is created literally one day at a time.

And here's your trite homily for today: If we're failing to plan, we're planning to fail. That one has really meant a lot to me. For me, it's all about my Daily Plan, which starts with weighing, then planning my meals and tracking what I eat and drink (including water) and my daily exercise. I know everybody can't handle doing it that way. But it keeps me on MY plan. Now that I'm maintaining, some days I do plan to splurge. But when I was losing I planned to meet whatever my protein and other appropriate food goals were for that day.

Jessie -- again, you CAN do this. It's all up to you, of course.

P.S. I'm about to be away from the board for a few weeks while traveling. So don't be alarmed if I don't respond to any posts you make in the meantime.